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#1 of 9 Old 05-27-2008, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
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I am a young vegetarian (almost vegan) mom to a 2 year old. I was a single mom for a while now I am in a relationship, my partner is vegan. Before meeting my partner I was planning on raising my daughter vegetarian. Now that she's a toddler eating pretty much everything I eat, I am getting major greif from all of my relatives. Everyone thinks that for her to be healthy and develop properly she needs to eat meat. My parents like to watch Chloe every other weekend, they don't eat organic, feed Chloe processed sugar, and conventional everything. I belive she is lactose intolrant so I give her soy or almond milk. I have explained to my parents how I am raising Chloe and I get a response of I read to much and every thing I read is nonsense. My mom tries to tell me that I choose to be a vegetarian so I should let Chloe make the choice. I told her that when she is old enough to say 'Mom...I want to eat chicken', she can have some but it has to be free-range organic, she doesn't respect my diet or the way I am raising my child.

Any advice? I am to the point where I don't want to let Chloe spend time with her grandparents because all she eats is crap food.

I don't really know if this goes in this thread or not...

Thanks in advance!

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#2 of 9 Old 05-27-2008, 02:23 PM
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In order to get your parents to respect your wishes, you may have to limit their time with her. Once your parents realize that it is that important to you, hopefully they will respect your wishes.

Also, you could try educating your parents regarding your food choices and explain that it's for her health. They may listen, they may not. A book with a lot of scientific info to back up, is "The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell.

Good luck!
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#3 of 9 Old 05-27-2008, 02:48 PM
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I would start sending Chloe's food with her. Tell your parents that she is not to eat anything but what you send. Explain to them that you are sorry to be so strict, but they don't seem to be respecting your parental choices for your child. You might add that you are sending food along so that Chloe can continue to spend time with them, but if they continue to violate your wishes, they will only be able to see her at your house.

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#4 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 04:26 PM
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My inlaws were feedinng ds cheese and i found out and was PISSED! i gently said please do not feed him cheese! stearnly but not rudly and it helped....i also ALWAYS ALWAYS AGAINN ALWAYS ALWAYS can i stress this enough! PACK THE CHILDS FOOD!!!!...if they want to give the baby "treats" then pack all natural fruit snacks or strawberries, once they see how much the kid loves them theyll enjoy giving the treats any treats!...Always make sure to pack way to much and an assortment, if they want to take the child to dinner tell them to stick to pasta with PLAIN tomato sauce and throw some tofu cubes inn a container for them to take....the easier you make it for them the less reasons they have to bail...if they still screw up tell them that there time will be limited!

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#5 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 05:57 PM
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our parents know that if they violate our wishes to raise ds vegan they wont be seeing him. end of story. i think you can try to educate them about it.. but they may not listen. i think people should be able to make their own food choices too.. which is why i wont give him animal products until he understand where they come from.

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#6 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 07:58 PM
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big battle there.....
bigger than I have guts to take on

I am a vegetarian and have 4 kids and would like for them to be vegetarians too...but my hubby is set against that as is the rest of the family. My kids like some meat, but do not eat much......honestly I do not feed my hubby meat much.....more pasta and pizza than anything....but he still is a meat guy. I have not even gotten up enough guts to bring up the kids being vegs......and of course the ones that can talk.....already have say...and therefore would require a diet just seems like such a big hassle...even though I would like makes me cringe when seeing my kids eat meat and eggs. I try to keep them meat/egg free up to a year.........but that has even been a challenge with my family. I just wish they would make the choice on their own....they do go through stages...sometimes they will not eat meat and other like really like it.......crazy
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#7 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 08:01 PM
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I did try to stand up to my parents in regards to sugar and junk food......but I kept getting overturned.......and I had no support....not even from my I gave up
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#8 of 9 Old 05-30-2008, 12:21 AM
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My dh also does NOT support my choices, nor those of my dd (almost 10). We are veg. I *very* rarely offer ds any meat. For me, offering is telling him hot dogs are on the menu at the ball park. He's totally happy with 99.9% of the veg. food he gets, and at 3 it's just not a big deal for him to eat healthy veg food all the time. I do make sure he gets the leafies (which he will eat in stir fries, pies, sometimes salads or soups), but otherwise I'm pretty casual about the protein. We eat eggs, and he also eats soy stuff almost every day. What the hell are they afraid they're missing out on by not eating meat!? Give them something like this to look at, just casually leave it by the bathroom sink, or near the couch on a side table. It's not about being RIGHT, it's about gaining their respect for a hard choice (going against the grain) and their acceptance of your decision for you and your children. Or if you think they'd read it, Skinny Bitch has a lot of info on meat in that one chapter - you could photocopy it from the library?

My approach:

1. I don't leave my kids with anyone overnight unless they know they are veg and can cook accordingly.
2. ds is no-dairy. This is not negotiable.
3. My parents, who don't respect our choices, don't get to keep the kids overnight, unless my dd WANTS to go (which isn't very often), and then just she will go, never ds (and she didn't go until she was in 3rd grade, last year).
4. I do ALWAYS send snacks. Doesn't always work, as my mother will offer JELL-O (gag!) which trumps fruit snacks any day. Sigh. When I told dd that jell-o was made from horses hooves, she about puked!
5. Respect is a 2-way street. My parents get that now, since I have w/drawn visits from ds completely. They can come here, that's their choice. Then they are on our turf, there is tons of food for the kids, and there's no bs about starving the children blah blah blah.

You've got to set some basic boundaries that you are ok defending. Whatever they are, be ok having them be temporarily po'd that you set new boundaries. For sure they'll come around - kids are too darned cute for them to not keep in their lives, kwim?!

Mama to B and O , wife to J and me to me! :
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#9 of 9 Old 05-30-2008, 11:19 AM
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I think you should provide her food when she visits them. Tell them if they are not willing to abide by your parenting/dietary choices for your daughter then they can only visit her under your supervision. Period. They need to have more respect.

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