So, I have been trying for over two hours to get my son to sleep. He is crying, tantruming, screaming, crawling out of bed, and just not sleepy at all. He normally goes down to sleep at around 7:30 or so, and I have been trying to night wean for the past couple of weeks.
Tonight I nursed him down, sang lullabies, and his eyes were closed, his breathing was regular, and I laid there for 10 minutes or so after I was POSITIVE he was asleep. As soon as I got up, he popped up and started asking for more nursing and lullabies. I nursed him down one more time, and again, he popped up as soon as I got up out of bed. At that point, I said, "No more nay-nay's, time for sleep" and I laid back down with him while he fussed himself nearly to sleep. He then laid there silently with his eyes wide open for a half hour or so and I finally said, "Mama needs to go downstairs, you will be ok, I will be up later". He freaked out, so I laid back down with him again.
This went on and on and on and on, and now I am absolutely at the end of my rope. I got 1.5 hours of sleep last night TOTAL because of fighting with him over nursing. I average about 2-4 hours of sleep a night when he is nursing non-stop at night and it HAS to end. I am not a good mama lately. I yell, I push him away, I can't stand the thought of nursing him at all. I don't want to wean, he is not ready, and I don't want to boot him from my bed.
I just came downstairs because he was crawling out of bed over and over and over again while screaming for water. I gave him a sippy of water, which he just wants to hold. I don't want a wet bed, so I took it away. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted, he is crying alone, and I am feeling like the worst mama on the planet.
I am headed back up there now to see if I can try to get him back down, but I am starting to truly believe that he does not need to sleep more than 4 hours or so out of each 24 hour period.