Is it safer to have a "fake" bed for you kids? (A CPS type question) - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Is it a good idea to have other beds for your kids?
Yes, have beds for your kids even if they don't use them 53 62.35%
Nah, no need to have extra beds if no one is using them 24 28.24%
other 8 9.41%
Voters: 85. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This might be a strange question.

A friend of mine had some sort of CPS called on her family because their baby tipped himself out of the carseat at a store (the store called). They had accidentally forgotten to fasten the buckle. They are a very wonderful family and they don't do anything that would warrant any type of CPS visit. It was all just such a surprise for them.

During the visit (she DID let them in the house), the woman commented that it was a good thing that they weren't sleeping with the baby. And she made especially sure that ALL the kids had their own beds. (My friend does not cosleep). It seemed like their might have been trouble and they would have taken the investigation further if all the kids had not had beds of their own.

So, my question is....is it necessary to have "fake" beds in your home for your children if you cosleep. On the slim chance that some accident could happen or someone who doesn't like you calls the CPS or something?

We are about to move into a one bedroom and will have two children cosleeping (3 year old and newborn). We will have two mattresses pushed up together. I hate to use up space we don't really have for pretend beds for the kids, but I also hate the thought of getting in "trouble" for not if something were to happen. I guess I have this strange fear of someone trying to take my kids away from me....I have heard some stories like this, even from people here on MDC who get called on b/c neighbors/family think they are strange.

Okay- sorry this post got so long! In your opinion....is it a good idea to have beds for your kids even if they don't sleep in them?

Jessica, wife to Mark, homeschooling mama to Micah (2006), Noah (2009), Owen (2012) and another on the way this August (20014)
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#2 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:22 AM
 
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Well, in your case, since it's a one bedroom, with 2 mattresses I would think that's enough. I mean, I'm sure it's "OK" for 2 kids to share a bed. I mean, you can't exactly fill the room with beds, it wouldn't be safe... fire hazard, and whatnot. I would not worry about it. Also, if you have a pack 'n' play in your house, it could "look" like a bed for babe if you're really concerned.
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#3 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:28 AM
 
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Well, fire code states 2ppl per bedroom, so I'd be more worried about that. IF I was going to allow a cps visit, I would make sure there was a seperate sleeping area for each person/couple even if it wasn't used since we've seen what an issue that can be.

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#4 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:51 AM
 
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I've thought about it but I don't.


I would never go back to that store again, though, and would let them know why. They had an accident and the store called CPS? Why not call an ambulance instead? Oh yes, that's right, b/c if they just called an ambulance, they would likely have to pay for it...better to call CPS instead. :

DS had an accident a bit over a year ago at Target, totally not their fault (not really ours, either, though we should have known better than to let him try on an itchy hat AND gloves that were fastened together (as gloves for sale often are) at the same time. They took care of us, well, me, while I took care of DS, and when I told them to call 911 they did so. Thank goodness they didn't call CPS, him falling like that was scary enough!
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#5 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:57 AM
 
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We have a bedroom set up for each child even though they usually sleep with us. If we were in a one bedroom, I would probably have a pack n play in the house (not set up - you can always say you put it away after your child got up each morning).

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#6 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 03:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticmomma View Post
Well, fire code states 2ppl per bedroom, so I'd be more worried about that. IF I was going to allow a cps visit, I would make sure there was a seperate sleeping area for each person/couple even if it wasn't used since we've seen what an issue that can be.
Whose fire code? This may apply to apartments or rental units in some states, but not across the boards by any means.

-Angela
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#7 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 03:01 AM
 
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I vote no. But I wouldn't let them in without a warrant, so worst case I'd still have time to set up if I thought I needed to.

-Angela
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#8 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 03:13 AM
 
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Whose fire code? This may apply to apartments or rental units in some states, but not across the boards by any means.

-Angela
In my county. All housing not just apartments. It's true in all counties in my state as well.

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#9 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 04:10 AM
 
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I choose to not allow them to scare me into spending extra money/wasting space on things I don't need. I have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper that we use for a few hours most nights so that counts for now but even if we didn't have that... I don't think I'd have fake beds.

I don't ever plan on having CPS called on me (lol I know no one does, that is phrased totally wrong ) and if they are, I will have a lawyer prior to them being allowed in my home. I don't really fear CPS though so
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#10 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 05:13 AM
 
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For the OP specifically-- the second bed that's pushed together would work for the 3-year-old, and a Pack and Play would work for the newborn.
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#11 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 10:52 AM
 
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We have beds for each child. (Except the baby.) IT has nothing to do with CPS though. I think it's really important for them to have 'em - to have it available should they choose to use it, to have thier own space to read, play, etc. They have always had their rooms set up even though they don't sleep there. That said our 3 girls all sleep with us, and until 9 months ago so did the older 2! And, yeah, fire codes here too dictate no more than 2 per bedroom. I just don't care.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#12 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 12:07 PM
 
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In my county. All housing not just apartments. It's true in all counties in my state as well.
Wow, so if you have a 3 bedroom house and 2 parents and 4 kids, you're not legally allowed to have a baby?

Really?

Freaky....

-Angela
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#13 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 12:15 PM
 
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Wow, so if you have a 3 bedroom house and 2 parents and 4 kids, you're not legally allowed to have a baby?

Really?

Freaky....

-Angela
We have a 3 bedroom house and 5 kids. So 7 people. We are in violation, but so is a very large % of the population. Who's gunn'a enforce it, ya know? CPS could I suppose but I don't worry about it.

ETA - We also have a playroom so I suppose we could turn it into a bedroom if anyone made an issue of it. But really, not anything anyone should fret over.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#14 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 12:37 PM
 
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In my county kids don't count until they are 18 months.

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#15 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 12:46 PM
 
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Each of my children has a bed of some sort (we have a pack n play for the new baby) but we continue to co-sleep with DD and will with the baby as well.
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#16 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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I think it's a good idea to have enough beds for all family members for a number of reasons. First of all is the CPS/cover your aspect of it.

Secondly, sometimes kids DO want their own space unexpectedly, and having extra beds for the kids means that, if they decide at 7:45 they want to sleep alone tonight, you can tuck them in at 8:00 in their own bed. (THen of course you can welcome them back into the big bed at 8:30. ) It's nice to keep the options open, and eliminates the risk of a chid co-sleeping who'd really prefer more privacy.

With an infant who would need a crib rather than a bed, the "I want my own space" issue is less likely to come up (but still possible.) But sometimes you just need a safe place to put the baby down for a few minutes. If you've got an appropriate crib set up, you can plop the baby in there when you have to go wash poop out of the 2yo's hair, or deal with the 5yo's possible broken bone from a fall off the furniture, or even to go switch the laundry or pee in peace!

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#17 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:10 PM
 
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When DD was little, we had a pack and play that I really just used for camping trips (place to put her while I helped DH set up the tent) and the like. Could have been set up easily if needed.

I had a bassinette and now a crib for DS. And a bed for DD. Honestly though, before DD used the bed, I set her twin bed up as a daybed. Got plenty of daytime use. And I do use the crib for DS both awake and asleep for short amounts of time. When I didn't use it as a crib, we had one of those changing table rail things, so it was a changing table. It does make me feel a little safer to have beds, honestly.

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#18 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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We have a 3 bedroom house and 5 kids. So 7 people. We are in violation, but so is a very large % of the population. Who's gunn'a enforce it, ya know? CPS could I suppose but I don't worry about it.

ETA - We also have a playroom so I suppose we could turn it into a bedroom if anyone made an issue of it. But really, not anything anyone should fret over.
Is there documentation somewhere of this law?

I've heard of it for rental units but I can't see how it's a legal law for owned homes.

-Angela
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#19 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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I think it's a good idea to have enough beds for all family members for a number of reasons. First of all is the CPS/cover your aspect of it.

Secondly, sometimes kids DO want their own space unexpectedly, and having extra beds for the kids means that, if they decide at 7:45 they want to sleep alone tonight, you can tuck them in at 8:00 in their own bed. (THen of course you can welcome them back into the big bed at 8:30. ) It's nice to keep the options open, and eliminates the risk of a chid co-sleeping who'd really prefer more privacy.

With an infant who would need a crib rather than a bed, the "I want my own space" issue is less likely to come up (but still possible.) But sometimes you just need a safe place to put the baby down for a few minutes. If you've got an appropriate crib set up, you can plop the baby in there when you have to go wash poop out of the 2yo's hair, or deal with the 5yo's possible broken bone from a fall off the furniture, or even to go switch the laundry or pee in peace!
Eh, I disagree. We don't have cribs here.

It would be a HUGE waste of time, money and floor space. (and we really have plenty of floor space ) And the cats would sleep in it- so it wouldn't be ready at a moment's notice any way.

We set up dd's room around 18 months.... so the option was available... It was a very expensive, antique cat bed for 2.5yrs. Didn't matter at the time, but if we hadn't had the $$, time or space? Forget it.

-Angela
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#20 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:22 PM
 
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It's in my county's code as maximum occupancy.

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#21 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:37 PM
 
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During the visit (she DID let them in the house), the woman commented that it was a good thing that they weren't sleeping with the baby.
What an odd comment...

We have an extra toddler bed but a toddler-sized teddy bear sleeps in it.
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#22 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:42 PM
 
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Is there documentation somewhere of this law?

I've heard of it for rental units but I can't see how it's a legal law for owned homes.

-Angela
Well a quick phone call indicates you are right. (The local CPS supervisor's brother went to a church we used to attend...so I called HIM and he knew right away.) This is true for rental units INSIDE city limits. So even for renters who live outside the city - no worries. I assume (and hope) it is similar elsewhere. Good to know!

Also, yeah...a crib is a major waste of $ IMO. If I wanted a seperate sleeping space for a newborn I'd still just invest in a real bed. I'm not even bothering with Zoe, I figure it'll be eons before it's needed. I am assuming the girls will likely sleep in a bed together in their room when leaving our bed, which won't be for another decade anyhow!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#23 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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I don't think my state has laws like that since there was a big fuss about the *city* putting in laws about no more than X unrelated persons. And that was just for rental properties.
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#24 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 01:47 PM
 
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But sometimes you just need a safe place to put the baby down for a few minutes. If you've got an appropriate crib set up, you can plop the baby in there when you have to go wash poop out of the 2yo's hair, or deal with the 5yo's possible broken bone from a fall off the furniture, or even to go switch the laundry or pee in peace!
That's what my 10 yr. old is for! : MANY a time already I've flung her on him with a quick "take her!" while running off to help someone.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#25 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:23 PM
 
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As a renter, I have never had any problems with CPS or the landlord threatening to evict me for having too many people and not enough beds, although I did get this house when I was looking at a smaller apartment owned and the owner suggested I wait until it came on the market because it was more suitable.

I had a small one bedroom apartment when I was married and had two kids and have lived in two-bedroom houses as a single mama to two and then three kids.

I had cribs/bassinets with the older kids that were great for storing the laundry I hadn't had time to fold, but no one ever slept in them. I didn't bother for Terran. Crap, I'm 43 years old; I neesd that space for letters friom my dead sister, half-finished Great American Niovels and quilts, dd's outgrown dolls and other "middle aged person" clutter!

I wouldn't have opened this thread if I wasn't concerned, of course, but as it stands, I live in a two bedroom house with a full sized bed in one room and two twin beds (one a trundle that fits under the other when not in use) so i'm not overly worried. The lease allows me to have dd and ds1 living there and was not changed when ds2 was born.

dd is sleeping in the nursery tonight because she had a fight with her boyfriend and doesn't want to go home right now.. ds1 is sleeping on the couch because even though he lives with his father now, most noncustodial parents get weekend visitation.

ds2 is eleven months old and the trundle bed is very low to the ground, so even though he has literally never slept in *his* bed, i don't think it is a safety hazard and for all anyone knows, i put it in *my* bedroom at night and then return it to the nursery after we wake up so the house doesn't look any worse than it does.

I think i'm okay....

i'm lying through my teeth. you know it. i know it. my landlord knows it. but i think i'm okay....
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#26 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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It's in my county's code as maximum occupancy.
But where is that as it applies to owned buildings? I've only seen that in public building codes and rental codes.

I don't mean to be dense, honest I've just never seen that and can't imagine it's constitutional.

-Angela
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#27 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:28 PM
 
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Threads like this really make me sad....does anyone know if the number of beds is an issue for our Canadian equivalent of CPS?

I've NEVER heard of anyone being reported for co-sleeping or not having the right number of beds or not having a crib....

We do have 5 people living in our house and four beds, but only two of them are ever used as we cosleep with our toddler and our older two children prefer to cosleep as well...
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#28 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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Well a quick phone call indicates you are right. (The local CPS supervisor's brother went to a church we used to attend...so I called HIM and he knew right away.) This is true for rental units INSIDE city limits. So even for renters who live outside the city - no worries. I assume (and hope) it is similar elsewhere. Good to know!

Also, yeah...a crib is a major waste of $ IMO. If I wanted a seperate sleeping space for a newborn I'd still just invest in a real bed. I'm not even bothering with Zoe, I figure it'll be eons before it's needed. I am assuming the girls will likely sleep in a bed together in their room when leaving our bed, which won't be for another decade anyhow!
Glad to know I'm not entirely batty (well I *am*, but... )

I don't think that such laws are really out there for owned property. Rental, yes.

-Angela
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#29 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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That's what my 10 yr. old is for! : MANY a time already I've flung her on him with a quick "take her!" while running off to help someone.
Can't wait until dd is big enough for that.

-Angela
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#30 of 66 Old 01-11-2009, 02:51 PM
 
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We have beds for each child. (Except the baby.) IT has nothing to do with CPS though. I think it's really important for them to have 'em - to have it available should they choose to use it, to have thier own space to read, play, etc. They have always had their rooms set up even though they don't sleep there. That said our 3 girls all sleep with us, and until 9 months ago so did the older 2! And, yeah, fire codes here too dictate no more than 2 per bedroom. I just don't care.
:
I voted other. I think it's important to have beds available because the child may want it. And even if they they don't want to sleep there, they may want a room of their own to put their stuff and hang out. I think children should have a room "available" to them to sleep in from when they are about two. They can chose to use it or not. My ds is 4 and still sleeps with us most nights. Some nights he starts in his own room and comes into us about 2am. I think it's important for children to have the choice.
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