Does your DH sleep in a guest room or on the couch? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 33 Old 01-13-2009, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband sleeps on the couch most nights, because our toddler wants to snuggle with daddy and there isn't enough room in our queen bed. Occasionally, I'll sleep in our 9 month olds room in the chair so DH & toddler can have the bed.

There isn't enough room in our bedroom for a king size bed or to side car the crib, so this is the only option, until both boys decide to sleep on their own.

I know I can't be the only one who doesn't sleep in the same bed as DH.
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#2 of 33 Old 01-13-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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I have a king size bed *and* a sidecarred crib and DH still sleeps in the spare room. He s ays we all (me, dd1 ans dd2) move too much and wake him up too much.

maybe one of these days i'll get that storybook family bed.. but for now it's a mom'n'nursing kids bed and eventually, there's going to be a mom'n'kids bed in the kids room where mom sneaks away once the kids are out. at least 2 yrs away though...
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#3 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 02:59 PM
 
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My partner sleeps in the master bedroom. The family bed is in our child's room. He's 4 years old and weaned now, but he still needs someone with him to fall asleep. I may be found in bed with either one of my guys. :

In the first month or two, usually all of us were in the family bed, because there was so much parenting to be done during the night. Once it became more a matter of just nursing, my partner began sleeping in the master bedroom always, except if he's the one reading bedtime stories and he falls asleep in the family bed.

We really like the way our old, pre-parenthood bedroom is still our room as a couple, rather than being "taken over" by the baby. We're glad we set it up this way.

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

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#4 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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My husband sleeps in the guest room because he's a light sleeper and I sleep terribly when pregnant. He intends to keep sleeping there until the babe is sleeping alone, whenever that is. He slept there when dd was co-sleeping, too. It actually works really well for us when there is co-sleeping going on because it gives us a convenient private place for "alone time", and there ends up being more intimacy in our relationship rather than less. Or maybe it's just because everyone is getting more sleep so we feel better and want more intimacy? I don't know but it works for whatever reason.
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#5 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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H sleeps in our bedroom, I sleep on the (very comfy) couch with whichever girl wants to sleep with me. dd1 usually sleeps in her own bed, but she generally likes to sleep in the living room with me once or twice per week. She's 4.5. dd2 likes to fall asleep in her own bed and she joins me in the early morning hours (4-5) for a few hours most mornings. We all used to sleep in the bedroom, but the girls gradually started sleeping in their own rooms more. Our bed is too soft for me and I prefer the couch, plus our house is set up so that their rooms are at the front of the house and ours is at the back and I don't feel comfortable being that far away from them at night!
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#6 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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Dh has his own room and I have a room with my two youngest (2.75yo and 9 mo.) It started off him only sleeping there during the day (he works straight night shift) but then he started sleeping there the nights he's home so that he gets a good night's sleep since the little ones hardly sleep and they keep him up.

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
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#7 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 03:33 PM
 
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dh has been sleeping in the guest room ever sinc we got a guest bed when pregnant with dd. he and I have never liked sharing a bed I hog the bed and he hogs the blankets. So now dd sleeps with me and he still sleeps in the guest room. We are considering getting 2 full size beds to put side by side in the master bedroom - his and hers covered with an oversized king bedpread during the day to look like one bed
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#8 of 33 Old 01-14-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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I sleep in a queen with the 13 month old. DH sleeps on a twin with dd in dd's room.
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#9 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 10:11 AM
 
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Right now DH is in the guest room and the nursling and I are in the king-sized master. It's mostly so that DH can get a good night's sleep and be able to work the next morning. As far as intimacy, I'm way too tired to even consider it right now. Soon, I hope...
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#10 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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my husband sleeps in the guest room as well. he is a very sound sleeper and neither of us feel comfortable with him sleeping with the baby (7.5 months) in the same bed. we recently sidecarred her crib in hopes that she will sleep in that and then hubby can move back into the bed, but so far no luck. she just wants to sleep in my arms all night long!
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#11 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 03:37 PM
 
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DH actually co-sleeps with DS, in DS' bed. I get the whole King bed to myself, though this will change when bean arrives, she'll be in the King with me, and DH will likely still end up in DS' bed, though he may be in the King bed as well at least for part of the night. DH does 99% of the night time parenting with DS so it is a lot easier for him to sleep with him, then in the King bed with me, since if he deals with DS when he is just stirring he normally won't wake up, unlike if he has to get out of bed and to his room to deal with him.

Sarah nak.gif married to DH Dan (August 2001) dh_malesling.GIF and Mommy to DS Desmond (April 2007) pinktongue.gif, DD Eloise (March 2009) hearts.gif and Sullivan (March 29, 2011) babyboy.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.giflactivist.gifcd.giffamilybed2.gif
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#12 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 03:42 PM
 
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My DH sleeps in the guest bed too. He snores so LOUD! Sometimes I can even hear him on the other side of the house and that's with the door closed. I keep telling him he needs to go get it checked out because it could very well be a health issue but I can't force him to do something. Anyways, he chose to sleep in the guest bedroom and let my DD and I have the big bed so that we could all get our sleep.

Gayle, WAHM to Aaliyah (8/06) and Lorelai (5/10). Married to M. bfinfant.giffamilybed2.gifhomebirth.jpgwaterbirth.jpg
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#13 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 09:30 PM
 
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H sleeps in our "spare" room unless we have company. We've never really slept well when sharing a bed. H is a really light sleeper, takes up a huge amount of room & I can't stand having anyone touch me when I'm trying to sleep unless it's a baby. Add in 2 kids (& now a big belly, soon to be 3rd kid ) one of whom has a tendency to kick h in the face/stomach & roll into him...separate sleeping just makes more sense. Everyone sleep better this way.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#14 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tabrizia View Post
DH actually co-sleeps with DS, in DS' bed. I get the whole King bed to myself, though this will change when bean arrives, she'll be in the King with me, and DH will likely still end up in DS' bed, though he may be in the King bed as well at least for part of the night. DH does 99% of the night time parenting with DS so it is a lot easier for him to sleep with him, then in the King bed with me, since if he deals with DS when he is just stirring he normally won't wake up, unlike if he has to get out of bed and to his room to deal with him.
This nearly perfectly describes us too. Change DS to DD2 and bam... there it is!

DD2 is very much a daddy's girl and will NOT sleep without him. I can't sleep WITH her though as she moves too much and I'm a very light sleeper. Once our newest DD is born though DH will most likely spend at least part of the night in the bed with me.
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#15 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 10:02 PM
 
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we do not have a bed. DS and I sleep on the floor (he nurses 1 to 4 times per night on average) and DH usually sleeps on the couch. When DH and I have our alone time, it happens on the floor, away from DS in the next room (because he's a light sleeper and we are noisy). Although, most times, DS wakes up and I get to nurse him back to sleep and then jump back into it...
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#16 of 33 Old 01-15-2009, 10:52 PM
 
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My dh spends many nights sleeping with ds1 or dd1 in their beds while I get the king size bed with ds2 and dd2. Whatever you have to do so everyone gets the most sleep .

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#17 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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We each (me, dp, dc) have our own bedroom. It works out splendidly. We each start out on our own and dc and I usually end up in the same bed together at some point in the night or early am. Happy adult times usually take place in dp's room, which dc refers to as "Daddy's Place".
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#18 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by amydidit View Post
This nearly perfectly describes us too. Change DS to DD2 and bam... there it is!

DD2 is very much a daddy's girl and will NOT sleep without him. I can't sleep WITH her though as she moves too much and I'm a very light sleeper. Once our newest DD is born though DH will most likely spend at least part of the night in the bed with me.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's dh cosleeps with a child. My husband sleeps in dd's room on a full size futon, and I sleep in a queen size bed by myself, which is lovely. I can't sleep through dd's movements and dh's snoring. Every once in awhile I get the urge to cosleep, but after a night it passes and I'm back to my lovely bed by myself.
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#19 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 03:42 PM
 
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We sidecarrded the crib to the guest bed and I sleep there with the baby. DH can't sleep through the baby waking up and the snoring that started when I was pregnant. Everytime we try to put everyone in the same room we all get less sleep.
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#20 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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i don't sleep well unless he is there, it is dd i can't sleep with. she is too wiggly. she tired again last night, but dad took her back to her bed after a few hours.

In love with their dad . mom to (dd 5/20/07)notes.gif, and (ds 3/27/09)moon.gif ,and (dd 5/9/11) love.gif, and (ds 5/14/13) nak.gif

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#21 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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DH is in the guestroom

:CLC,Doula :Mama to 2
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#22 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 04:40 PM
 
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DH gets the bed, I get the recliner.

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#23 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 04:55 PM
 
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Mine has had his own bedroom for about seven years now. I could go on and on why (there's a bunch of reasons) but I'll spare you the boredom. It works fantastically for us!

Full time working mom to two bright and busy little girls! treehugger.gif
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#24 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 10:31 PM
 
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All 4 of us slept in the bed last night! We have a king but we also have a 2yo and a 12yo, Our 12 yo usually sleeps on the couch but last night she really didnt want to be alone so we all cramed in. It was awesome, I loved it - didnt sleep so great but it was so nice!
Melinda
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#25 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 10:40 PM
 
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Dp is on the couch. Babe and 4 yr old are in my bed w/ me. Almost 3 yr old, 5yr old, and 7 yr old in their own beds sharing a room together.
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#26 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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I used to sleep with DD in the queen, and DH took the guest bed. That gave me extra room (I can't sleep touching anyone, unfortunately) and also avoided waking us up when DH went to bed (he worked the night shift).

Then when DD was 3yo we switched. Now I sleep in the guest room (words cannot describe my joy) and DH sleeps with DD in the queen bed.

Our neighbors all sleep in a queen with DH on the wall, then DS, then DW, then DD on the outside edge (she never falls off). But sometimes the DH sleeps on the couch.

And another family we know all slept together in a queen - DH, DW and DS. Then when DS2 was born, the DH and DS1 slept in the guest room while DW and DS2 slept in the regular bed.

Whatever works for folks

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#27 of 33 Old 01-16-2009, 11:55 PM
 
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DH sleeps in the guest room. I'm in the master bedroom queen bed with the baby. I feel cramped when he's in the bed with us, plus he snores sometimes. This way he gets better sleep too, which he needs since he has to get up and go to work whereas I don't at the moment. Though I do all the nighttime parenting, it works out well for me too. DH is a university professor and only has to go in two or three days a week. Mornings when he works at home, he'll often look after baby for a couple of hours (in the bouncy chair on his desk) while I get some more sleep
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#28 of 33 Old 01-17-2009, 12:24 AM
 
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Without reading the actual post I just LOL. Oh my, I knew I wasn't alone. I can hardly stand the snoring, now my 2.5 yo is just like him. hahahaha
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#29 of 33 Old 01-17-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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Dh sleeps in the boys' room. They all have their own beds (yay for huge bedrooms) but end up in dh's bed by morning. I sleep in "our" room with the baby. I hope someday to share a bed with dh again, I miss him.

Keeping busy with 2 boys & 1 girl ('04, '06, '08)
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#30 of 33 Old 01-17-2009, 05:15 AM
 
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Sofa- but not because there isnt enough room (we also just got a new super king size bed - plenty of room for all of us! hehe)...(and before the super king size bed, we had a double with a co sleeper attachment so we still all had plenty of room!)...

He started sleeping on the sofa because 1). He makes a lot of noise (snoring) that means I have a very hard time getting back to sleep if I am woken up - which happens every now and then when you have a small child - 2). Ds apparently makes a lot of noise in his sleep which wakes DH up (but for some reason, DH does not even stir if Ds is wailing his head off! lol) - 3). DH has to get up earlier than we ever wake naturally to get ready for work in the morning - which wakes us up if he is getting up out of the bed we are sleeping in (and leads to all sorts of nasty grumpiness during the day!).

I kinda feel bad he sleeps on the sofa but he is fine with it - in fact, we went away for a weekend once and DH stayed home...you would think he would take opportunity to sleep in the bed but he tried it and could not get to sleep so went back to the sofa! lol

But, because I think it would be a good idea for various reasons - I am going to get a bunk bed for the playroom. Our house is tiny, so it will be one of those bunk beds that also has the desk underneath (with the futon chair that folds out into a single bed) so we have somewhere to put the computer as well as Ds having a bed of his own if he wants it and DH having a bed as well (the futon) instead of the sofa. Meaning there will be a bed for everyone in the house depending on where we choose to sleep!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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