I'm going to try the Jay Gordon method - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 38 Old 03-12-2009, 11:59 PM
 
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We tried JGs method, more or less, at around 11 months the first time. I was desperate and hadn't slept for more than two hours at a time in one year--and 2 hours was not even a given!

But at 11 months DS was totally not ready. After the first attempt at not nursing back to sleep, DS went into a total meltdown and screamed bloody murder for whats eemed like forever. I nursed him back down, and the next day I had a distant, detatched, gloomy baby that broke my heart. I swore I would never do that to either one of us again--or any time soon!

Tried again at 12+ months, not having it. Tried at 13+ months, not having it. Tried at 14+ months---success! And it was easy! He would wake up, and bolt up out of bed as usual, and I simply laid him back down sushing him to sleep, like cake falling off a log. He still woke up just as often, but would go back to sleep without protest until about 4 or 5 when he would wake up STARVING TO DEATH.

Less than a month later DS gets a nasty virus, fever, everything, and reverts to nursing all night again. We had to, the poor guy wouldn't eat a thing, and was feverish and miserable. So that ended our sucessfull night-weaning, and here we are about 5 months later, waking up every 1-2 hours. During this time however we've come to realize that DS has some food allergies which make him very uncomfortable at night, so at this point I am not going to even attempt to night wean again until we get a handle on his allergies and I know he is not waking up in pain.
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#32 of 38 Old 03-14-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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We're in the middle of night weaning now (I posted way back when on this thread about stopping because my dd had a stomach bug).

It's going fairly well. She's easily soothed back to sleep without nursing until about 2am. Around 2 she wants milk and is mad mad mad if she doesn't get it and continues to be restless even when she stops crying. I think she's hungry around that time, but I've been holding off nursing until 5am. I try hard to tank her up at night, but she's been throwing food on the floor and eating less than usual (started this before the night weaning).

I might relent and give her a 2am nurse, but I'm going to try a few more days and see if she manages to adjust her eating schedule.

I have had to hold her down. When she's mad she throws her whole body every which way. If she were in a crib she'd throw herself against the bars. I don't like doing it, but she wouldn't be safe otherwise. I did it when we started getting her to fall asleep alone about a month ago. Before that I would wrestle her into the Ergo and walk her to sleep so I was still restraining her, just in another way.

She is sleeping much better. She lies down next to us and falls asleep, usually without a struggle. Before 2am she wakes less frequently and can be soothed by either me or my husband. This has improved our quality of life about 100 fold. Even if I decide to give her that 2am feed it's still been worth it.
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#33 of 38 Old 03-16-2009, 11:01 PM
 
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Latest update from our family bed -- can't remember any more what night of the process this is, just that we are in the midst of the semi-final stage in which I soothe baby back to sleep without picking him up. So far, so good. Once I come to bed, there is an increasingly long interval before his next wake-up. Last night I actually got 3 hours sleep between 11:30 (nursed) and 2:30 (soothed.) The 2:30 wake-up became an hour of restlessness, then brief deep sleep, then a wake-up at 3:50. Since my end time for the night weaning is 4, that was a tricky moment, but I held my ground, soothed him again, and was glad to nurse at the next wake-up at 4:30.

So, the early half of the weaning is super easy, in fact, it's sleep. The second half takes more work, but not harder than nursing all night, and there's no true misery from my son during that time, just whimpery restlessness.

BUT: I do notice that his going-to-bed process, and early night wake-ups are getting harder (in fact, I just gave up on getting him down and his dad is working on it as I type.) No idea if this is a reaction to the middle of the night changes, or just getting ready to walk and teething blah blah blah.

Anyone else notice the going-to-bed part getting wacky during night weaning?

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#34 of 38 Old 03-16-2009, 11:36 PM
 
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off to research and try this! I need some sleep to be a better mom to both girls right now ... DD2 would nurse all night if she could...
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#35 of 38 Old 03-17-2009, 12:16 PM
 
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Hmmm, I can't seem to find the info? Anyone have a link? Does he have suggestions for older children also(3.5)?
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#36 of 38 Old 03-17-2009, 09:08 PM
 
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http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

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#37 of 38 Old 03-18-2009, 07:01 PM
 
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so glad for this thread -- dh is growing ever more unsupportive of my nursing dd, maybe sttn will slow down that train a little longer...
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#38 of 38 Old 03-19-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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I just wanted to update you guys that I have removed some posts because they were advocating CIO. As a quick reminder I want to say that our goal in this forum is to find gentle solution that respects the child's needs while understanding that sleep issues are very challenging.

As a mother of two children that both still sleep with me I understand greatly how hard it can be to find a balance between my own sanity and my children's wellbeing. Especially because I work full time out of the home.

This is a good thing to remember when dealing with our own personal problems with babies and sleep.

Quote:
Once we become parents it is easy to blame ourselves when our children's behavior seems out of control. The pervasive idea that we should be able to control sleep habits leads us too quickly to call night waking a "sleep disorder" and to wonder what we are doing wrong to cause it. Research gives no indication that anything parents do causes night waking. Babies whose cries are responded to rapidly are not more prone to it. Assuming that there is some method out there to treat sleep "disorders" undermines a parent's confidence. Despite the notion that "healthy, normal" babies sleep through the night, surveys of parents show that most babies do not sleep through the night, at least until all their teeth are in.

While waiting for our children to develop physically and emotionally to the point where they can realistically soothe themsleves to sleep, we need to work on our own development toward tolerance, patience, and acceptance of those aspects of parenting that are beyond our control. What remains in our control is the ability to continue to care for our children even though they are keeping us awake at night; to continue to hold to our own integrity as feeling people.

To embrace a philosophy that takes into account the individual needs of each child is not to ignore the unfortunate reality that we need sleep. We need to nurture ourselves in this process of raising children. The key to tolerance, and the natural passge through the nightwaking years, is to observe, accept, and work with your child's own inner rhythms and timetables, which can lead to the understanding that nurturing your child and nurturing yourself are not mutually exclusive enterprises.

'Natural Family Living' by Peggy O'Mara
This is also a good article that might help remind some of us that what we are going through is normal and offers some helpful suggestions to help overcome some of the tough times.

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