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Why do *you* co-sleep?

2K views 61 replies 55 participants last post by  Princessyoga 
#1 ·
I'm trying to explain co-sleeping to my very mainstream friends and family...even my crunchy-ish best friend is not quite sure she gets why we want to do it. I feel like I'm coming off sounding like one of those moms that gets all her emotional fulfillment for her child...and this baby isn't even here yet!

I know why I want to co-sleep but I'm having a hard time putting it into mainstream speak. So, I wanted to know, if they know, what do you tell your non-crunchy circle about why you co-sleep?
 
#2 ·
If your breastfeeding its the best choice. The baby developes better breathing habits while sleeping because it follows your heart beat. Dramatically cuts down on the reisk of SIDS. Baby sleeps longer and more peaceful so in turn so do you. The rest of the world co-sleeps, the US is so crazy to think babies should be in a room by themselves and we wonder why there is a disconnect from our childen!
 
#3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mkmoro311 View Post
If your breastfeeding its the best choice. The baby developes better breathing habits while sleeping because it follows your heart beat. Dramatically cuts down on the reisk of SIDS. Baby sleeps longer and more peaceful so in turn so do you. The rest of the world co-sleeps, the US is so crazy to think babies should be in a room by themselves and we wonder why there is a disconnect from our childen!
ITA


Nursing is soooo much easier at night with your baby right beside the buffet.
Eventually you get so good, you barely (if at all) have to wake up to nurse. That, in my book, made it all worthwhile!

You're RIGHT THERE all night. Your baby is with you, the one place he/she wants to be. A parent can almost immediately detect illness, discomfort, exploded diapers, whatever, and take care of it. This applies to naps during the day, too. My baby almost never slept out of my arms until she was much older, like over a year. Even then, I was never more than a few steps away from her.

I know that I am a much, much better parent because I chose to co-sleep.
 
#5 ·
Well, the best thing I've been able to come up with is that I let my dogs snuggle up in bed with me and hubby, why on earth would we exclude our child??? Also, I am *way* to lazy to get out of bed in the middle of the night to nurse, and plus, if I got up to nurse the dogs would wake, and then husband would have to wake to take them out and... well, you get the point.
 
#6 ·
Getting more sleep all around is the reason we started. Breastfeeding is so much easier this way once you learn to nurse on your side. Now we do it because we all love it. DS starts out the night in his crib and then usually joins us around 1 or 2 am, sometimes though he will sleep all night in his crib and I start mising him!
 
#8 ·
One reason is that we both sleep better. Neither of us has to fully wake up. He stirs and grunts, I wake up long enough to latch him on, he nurses while I doze and then we both fall back asleep. Compare that to being in a crib in another room: Baby stirs and grunts, mama isn't nearby to hear him, he wakes up even more and starts to cry, mama gets up out of bed and goes to him, nurses and gets him back to sleep, then mama has to get back in bed and attempt to fall back asleep. Lather, rinse, repeat all night long.

Second reason is that I can't bear the thought of such a tiny person being all alone. He spent months inside me, so close and warm. The thought of taking him further away from me just doesn't sit right with me.
 
#9 ·
My first night with her, I couldn't put her in her crib. I couldn't even put her in the port-a-crib right next to the bed. She spent the previous nine months sleeping with me and I couldn't bare to part from her once she was no longer inside of me. I enjoy watching her sleep and cuddling with her. She and I sleep exactly alike (on our sides, with our hands together under our cheeks) and we like to be next to each other. If she's in the other room, how will I hear her cry?
Within the first few days really, we were totally in sync. We would both wake up within moments of each other in the middle of the night to nurse, which definitely made everything easier. With no crying (at least not from her
) there was no added stress, especially since her dad didn't wake up.
When her dad was working shift work (which totally sucked by the way) and we were all alone at night, having her sleep next to me was a great comfort. I had someone there with me.
Either way, my baby is never alone. She's just a baby and I wouldn't leave her alone in any other circumstance so why would I leave her alone to sleep?
 
#10 ·
We cosleep with children who are past nursing. Here are some of our reasons:

If there were an emergency or fire in the night, I wouldn't have to waste precious time roaming the house looking for my children. Dh and I could just take them and get out. ETA I don't think children should even be ALLOWED to sleep in separate rooms unless they have demonstrated ability to wake at the sound of the smoke detector and evacuate the house by themselves.

If one of my kids got sick in the night or had a seizure (nighttime epilepsy runs in my dh's family) I would be right there to know what was going on and care for him.

I have always been prone to nightmares and don't like to sleep by myself. Why would I tell my kids "mommy and daddy get to share a bed but you have to sleep alone!"

We can turn the thermostat down if we all cuddle together.

Cosleeping from the start every night or having the option of starting in one's own bed and crawling into mom's bed if one is scared in the night helps my kids be more secure and happy during the day.
 
#13 ·
I've just told ppl that LO would not sleep in his bed alone. DH and I desperately wanted sleep. LO instantly went to sleep in our bed, then we were able to get some sleep. I jokingly explain it that I am just do what ever it takes for me to get a good night's sleep.
 
#14 ·
I started because it felt right to me when my DS was a newborn. I had planned to use a bassinet and then a crib, but my instincts told me NOT to put him down alone. He ended up to be too restless of a sleeper to co-sleep full time past the first year (we rouse each other from sleep too easily), but I really feel that the research supports the idea that small infants are meant to sleep close to their mothers.

I also enjoy how convenient it is to nurse in bed, but this is not a factor in my decision. I would have no problem getting up to nurse if that's what I believed to be best for baby.

I am expecting my second son in April and I am planning on co-sleeping this time around.
 
#20 ·
I like sleep.
Nursing is easier.
I'm so paranoid that she's going to stop breathing so I keep close so I can poke her throughout the night (can we say paranoid?)
Waking up to a giggly happy baby and cuddling in bed is way more fun than running down the hall to get a screaming kid.
 
#21 ·
Because, to DH and I, it just feels right. Our DS is 4.5 and we still cosleep.

Having our family together at night is a way for us to bond. DS feels so much a part of the family and he really values the time together. He needs to be close and needs touch - at night he almost always has one hand or foot on one of us. He's always been this way and it seemed cruel to make him sleep alone. I'm an adult and I don't like sleeping by myself - why would I think it would be easier for a child?

I like knowing that he is safe. DH says he likes having his family all in one place. As others have said if there is an emergency it is easy to gather everyone up and go.

We trust our instincts as parents and recognize what works for our son and family and what doesn't. If it doesn't work we look for other solutions. If it does work we go with it and don't care what others think.

We also don't talk about it a lot. We do not parent the same way as most of our friends. If it comes up usually our confidence in our decisions shows through and folks just don't question it. We just say it works for us and I guess others don't feel like we're judging their style so they don't try and argue with us - or they think we're just weird and don't bother.


Edited to add it is hard to argue GD parenting when you're still pregnant or have a tiny baby (actually, it's hard to argue it with someone who has a child older than your own no matter the age). But, remember, the proof is in the pudding. We get more compliments on our son - how smart he is, how confident he is, how articulate, how funny he is, etc. and we just smile and say thank you. I know the majority of his personality has nothing to do with us but we do take a little credit for our parenting choices to let him find himself and be here to guide him. Don't listen to others. Listen to your children and you'll be a great parent. Your children's behavior will be the biggest "voice" they have - when DS starts acting up I start looking at reasons why instead of trying to control him or make him behave. Every time I've gone against my gut instincts I've regretted it.
 
#22 ·
Here is another one I just thought of...

Dh works long and irregular hours, and travels for work. When he is home, it is important for him to spend as much time with the children as possible.

Dh is a lighter sleeper than I am, and sometimes loses sleep when the toddler is restless, but he feels more connected to our toddler and preschooler as a parent when they sleep all snuggled up to him at night.

The demands of the working world separate him from his children all too much. Co-sleeping helps him get some of that bonding time back.
 
#23 ·
oh goodness, so many reasons!!

I never intended to be a co-sleeping family - but when ds was born, he would only sleep laying on my chest. Frankly, it freaked me out because I had only heard how dangerous co-sleeping was. Thank goodness I had fallen in love w/Dr. Sears during pregnancy so was somewhat familiar with the Baby Book... As I read and thought more, it just made sense... My son and I "knew" each other in a way that either of us knew anyone else. He had slept with me every night while being made, so of course he still wanted that. And he was completely helpless - so of course he still needed that. Again, it just started to make sense from a biological/anthropoligical way...

Then we were bf'ing, and as others have said, its much easier to just roll over than to get up. I'm a light sleeper to begin with - and getting out of bed totally disrupts my night clock, so I'm up for hours then. This way, we were all better able to sleep...

Also, I am a hypervigilant person - I wake up at the slightest noise, I worry for no reason about robbers breaking in and fires and stuff. I figure out ways in which we could escape quickly. Imagining my newborn (or now toddler) in another room, not close by, terrified me...

And, whenever he has gotten sick, I think about what might have happened had I not been right there. Twice he has thrown up silently in the middle of the night - once turned into a very violent stomach virus, where he was really to weak and scared to even cry. If we were in seperate rooms, I never would have known
And another time, his breathing got severly affected by a cold - so much that it had affected his heartrate, etc. Again - I'm glad I was right there...

Plus, I simply enjoy it. I work part-time, so I feel like I never get to spend enough time w/DS - this gives me 11 or so more hours a day with him, getting to know him and be attached with him on a very intimate level. I love cuddling him down to sleep, and playing with him as soon as he wakes up in the morning. I love it when he is 1/2 asleep in the middle of the night and sweetly says "MaMa" in the happiest voice as he reaches out and touches me. It makes me sad to think about the babies who reach out for comfort, for their mama's, only to find substitutes.... I love it when, like last night, he gets tickled by something in his dreams and starts giggling... Its too adorable for words - and I would hate to miss it...

Although I have definitely had my personal "crisis of faith" when it comes to co-sleeping (are we doing the right thing?, please I need more sleep, will he ever sleep through the night?, what are we going to do when the new baby comes?!), overall, I feel that we are doing the right thing for our son, that he loves it - and so do I!
 
#24 ·
-Our house is 660 sq feet and I don't really care to take up any of that precious space with a crib since DD can safely sleep with us.

-Nursing is better and easier.

-I love snuggling my sweet girl all night and always knowing where she is and what is going on with her.
 
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