How Do *You* Do It? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 19 Old 02-13-2009, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
bmcneal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 2,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you are co-sleeping with a preschooler (3 or 4 years old), how do you put them to bed? Do you go lay down with them, or do you go with them, read them a story, hug and kiss, and then they go to sleep w/o you in the bed with them? Or read them a story/play quietly with them, then you lay them down and go elsewhere?

sleeping.gifMama to DD dust.gif(12.2005), DS1 sleepytime.gif (01.2009), DS2 babyboy.gif (04.28.2013) with DH heartbeat.gif04.10.13!!heartbeat.gif namaste.gif

bmcneal is offline  
#2 of 19 Old 02-14-2009, 11:48 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,336
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
DD1 started putting herself to sleep when she was almost 5. Before that either DH or I had to stay with her until she feel asleep and then we'd sneak away.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is online now  
#3 of 19 Old 02-14-2009, 01:14 PM
 
Mama Mko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Under the Stars
Posts: 1,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We rub his back until he's asleep.

Live and love with your whole being.
Mama Mko is offline  
#4 of 19 Old 02-14-2009, 01:14 PM
 
SquishyBuggles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In the desert of So. California
Posts: 469
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My daughter is almost 5, she almost always starts out in her own bed at night and migrates to mine on some nights...maybe 3-4 nights per week. I just cuddle with her for a minute, read, sing, etc and she goes down pretty quickly.
SquishyBuggles is offline  
#5 of 19 Old 02-14-2009, 02:39 PM
 
stacyann21's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: California
Posts: 1,516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well my son is only 2 but I thought I'd share my method anyway
I nurse him to sleep around 9 pm, carefully crawl away and then turn the monitor on and go downstairs to spend some alone time with DP. I've never understood why people think co-sleeping detracts from your sex life. I could have sex every night if I wanted to. We actually did it in the (walk-in) closet last night while DS slept LOL. Nap time is pretty much the same except DP's at work so that's when I get my "me time".

Mom to a bright & energetic 6 y.o. boy  blahblah.gif   With my sweetie for 10 years now  blowkiss.gif  Registered nurse  caffix.gif

stacyann21 is offline  
#6 of 19 Old 02-14-2009, 04:12 PM
 
zoshamosha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 740
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Well, we seem to have a different sleeping arrangement every night--it's like musical beds around here. But when she sleeps with me and baby bro, I lie down with both of them until they are asleep. If she's sleeping in her own bed (same room--sometimes), I'll read stories and then kiss and hug and she goes to sleep by herself.

That said, I bribe her to do so. I know it's sucky sucky parenting, but she is a sleep fighter and when I'm also dealing with the baby, it's the only way I keep my sanity. So, we do a reward chart just on school nights. She gets a prize for going to sleep without any complaining (like an ice cream cone or a little train ride or something like that).

Fridays and Saturdays I will either lie with her until she falls asleep or I let her stay up until she basically passes out.
zoshamosha is offline  
#7 of 19 Old 02-17-2009, 01:28 AM
 
sbgquilt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ONe of us stays with dd until she falls asleep. This is always in her bed which is a full size mattress on the floor. If/when she wakes up in the ni ght she calls out for us and we go get her and bring her to our bed where she spends the rest of the night. When we say good night she says "see you in the morning and see you in the night" b/c she knows she'll end up with us. We're all fine with that.
sbgquilt is offline  
#8 of 19 Old 02-17-2009, 01:38 AM
 
lizw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeresaZofia View Post
Well, we seem to have a different sleeping arrangement every night--it's like musical beds around here. But when she sleeps with me and baby bro, I lie down with both of them until they are asleep. If she's sleeping in her own bed (same room--sometimes), I'll read stories and then kiss and hug and she goes to sleep by herself.

That said, I bribe her to do so. I know it's sucky sucky parenting, but she is a sleep fighter and when I'm also dealing with the baby, it's the only way I keep my sanity. So, we do a reward chart just on school nights. She gets a prize for going to sleep without any complaining (like an ice cream cone or a little train ride or something like that).

Fridays and Saturdays I will either lie with her until she falls asleep or I let her stay up until she basically passes out.
We went through a phase where we had to do the same thing.....bribery or rewarding or whatever you want to call it! Sometimes you have to find ways to survive and that did it for us!
lizw is offline  
#9 of 19 Old 02-17-2009, 10:18 PM
 
hananana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is almost 4. One of us lays next to him or holds his hand until he's asleep every night.
hananana is offline  
#10 of 19 Old 02-17-2009, 11:18 PM
 
LianneM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Melbourne, FL
Posts: 3,224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 4 occasionally (maybe once a week) he'll nurse to sleep, but otherwise he nurses and then rolls over and goes to sleep. One of us stays close by until he's out.

WAHMama to Allen (2-10-05) and Alexa (6-27-08)
LianneM is offline  
#11 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 12:20 AM
 
dantesmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,090
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
DS1 is 3. We read a bedtime story (or ten), he'll nurse for a few minutes if I'm feeling up to it, and we snuggle. He's usually asleep within 5 minutes. If not, and I'm feeling antsy in bed, he's usually okay with me leaving the room, and he'll fall asleep on his own (though this is a very recent development!).

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 jumpers.gif

dantesmama is online now  
#12 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 01:08 AM
 
rzberrymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD just turned 4, and she still needs me to lie down with her to fall asleep--she tells me she's afraid to fall asleep alone, and I can understand that (I feel like she's still young).

It only takes her about 5-10 minutes to fall asleep though, so I don't really mind. When it used to take longer than that, I let her know that she could play, talk, roll around, etc. as long as she wanted to in the bed, and that I would be right outside the door and would lie down with her when she was ready to sleep. Basically, I refused to lie with her until she was ready to actually sleep--I never threatened to leave or abandon her, but rather I made it sound really matter of fact ("hey, no problem at all that you want to play--I'll be right outside until you're ready to sleep") And then I'd sit outside the door and read my book until she told me she was ready to sleep. Sometimes it took 3 or 4 tries each night, but eventually she got the idea that when we lie down together, we go to sleep. And now it usually takes 5 minutes.

With my DH, he ends up lying with her for 45 minutes to an hour--he doesn't put any limits, and so it ends up taking forever.

Anyway, that's how I do it with my 4 year old.
rzberrymom is offline  
#13 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 10:31 AM
 
4Marmalade's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,084
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My almost 4 year old dd will go to sleep on her own after we read stories, tuck in, kiss, etc... Once in a while she'll ask if we can sit with her for a few minutes. This is in her bed. She comes into our bed later during the night.

When my now 6 year old ds was that age we were still lying down with him until he was asleep. He is still our biggest cosleeper and loves that nighttime connection.

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

4Marmalade is offline  
#14 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 02:25 PM
 
yentroc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dd will be 4 in a few weeks. she's on a mattress on the floor next to our bed. usually we (dh and i) lay with her until she falls asleep, most days it's just 5-10 minutes and she's out. on the odd day whe she's had a nap, we crawl in bed with our headlamps and books and read while she plays quietly and falls asleep on her own. this is all pretty amazing to type because she is a former non-sleeper who took HOURS to get to sleep every time she fell asleep including all the millions of night wakings per night. i guess age really does matter.

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

yentroc is offline  
#15 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 03:25 PM
 
maylea_moon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in idaho
Posts: 687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is usually how we do it...

Around 8 or 8:30 I go into my bedroom and nurse my 18 month old DD to sleep in my bed. Once she is asleep my 4.5 year old DS and I lie on the couch with blankets and he falls asleep while I catch up on some of my tv shows. Once he's asleep (usually it's within an hour) I put him in his own bed and sometime in the middle of the night he wakes up and crawls into bed with us where we let him stay.

Alia + Brian proud parents to Rowan (9/8/04) Lila (9/3/07) and Rhys (6/11/10)
maylea_moon is offline  
#16 of 19 Old 02-18-2009, 04:33 PM
 
spirit4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 1,222
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is our routine:

around 7 :30 I bring dd up to our bed (crib is side carred). And nurse/rock her to sleep. (She is not easy to get to sleep!).

Then I bring ds1 up (6 1/2) and he pees and brushes his teeth. We read a slory and talk about our day. Kiss good night.

up comes ds2 (4) and he pees and teeth. story. kiss goodnight. (they share a room).

Then for the next hour he lies in bed looking at a book or playing quietly until I go to bed. if hes still awake he joins me.

I don't stay with them, but I used too!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
spirit4ever is offline  
#17 of 19 Old 02-19-2009, 12:38 AM
 
Full Heart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Surronded by Dairy Farms AZ
Posts: 3,631
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a 3.5 yr old ds. We go lay down together and turn on the tv cause I have no light in our room (seriously how stupid is that?) and he falls asleep really quickly. Usually takes 5 min. He has a blankie he likes to feel, its satin on one side. Hes really easy to put down. Dh will put him in his bed or he will sleep on the floor next to us. We also have a 2 yr old who co sleeps so it gets crowded. The nights we all fall asleep together I end up practically pushed off the bed!

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
Full Heart is offline  
#18 of 19 Old 02-19-2009, 11:04 AM
 
MommyToElla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somerset County, NJ
Posts: 469
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We go into our bed, read some books and she falls asleep. DD is almost 4 and it's gotten way easier over the past year. Now she knows she's tired since she doesn't nap and falls asleep pretty quickly with ease. Once she's asleep we get up (or I'm usually so tired as well that I go to sleep at the same time). We def. aren't at the point where we can leave her... even if i leave to get something she follows, she's in a afraid of the dark phase.

homeschooling mama to ella (9) and maya (5)
MommyToElla is offline  
#19 of 19 Old 02-19-2009, 11:27 PM
 
natesmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DS just turned 4. He still needs to be cuddled to sleep. I can't imagine that he will fall asleep on his own any time soon. He's a big time co-sleeper and loves it. We read books (between 1 and 3 books) and then have what I call quiet time. He usually falls right to sleep. Sometimes he's fidgety and it takes a little longer. My biggest challenge is not falling asleep WITH him!!
natesmamma is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off