"baby wakes up as soon as I put him/her down" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 02-18-2009, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
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Babies sleep cycles are different from adults. They take longer to get into a "deep sleep" then adults do, and spend more time in "lighter" stages of sleep then adults do.

An adult can go from awake-tired to fully asleep in a matter of minutes, where a baby takes 20-30 minutes to get into a full sleep. So it helps if you wait to transfer baby out of carrier or arms until 20-30 minutes after you *think* they are asleep. Attempts to rush the process sometimes result in needing to repeat the process many times.

As for them spending more time in lighter stages of sleep, this is developmental and its a good thing. They are processing all they have learned while in these lighter stages of sleep. If I remember correctly, their sleep pattern cycles about every 90 minutes, though their cycles consist or more lighter stages then ours do.

On a side note, for whatever reason, having DH put DS2 to sleep works much better then when I do. DH can just hold him for 2 minutes and he's out. He waits 15 minutes or so and then puts him down no problem. I have to nurse him, wait until he latches off, and THEN wait 20 minutes or so if I want him to stay asleep.

Hope someone finds this insight and personal experience useful. The information comes from Dr. Sears The Baby Sleep Book (excellent - I personally like it better then the no cry sleep solution), the side note is just our experience.
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#2 of 12 Old 02-18-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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Thanks for the info!!!
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#3 of 12 Old 02-18-2009, 11:34 PM
 
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Definitely good info. I also find that if I wait TOO long, they wake up as well! So, either I have to put baby/toddler down at around 20 mins. or wait until they wake up 1-2 hours later! At 45, 50, 60 mins. etc, they also wake up!

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#4 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 12:24 AM
 
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We did a transfer from nursing mommy to daddy's arms for a long time, and it radically shortened the bedtime routine and helped me feel more sane. DD would accept that transfer once she was very sleepy, and DH could put her down mere minutes later. She also seemed to sleep longer initial stretches at night that way - you know, like 2-3 hours or so at 8mo's

*** DH (wed 5/03), DD (6/07), and DS (8/11)
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#5 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 12:43 AM
 
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Good information I wish I'd had as a new mommy.

Also good to know: It's okay not to put the baby down at all--if you're comfortable and baby is too. Especially in the newborn stage, where they go in and out of sleep so easily. And often. It's okay, if you're comfortable, say you've got baby in a wrap and is snuggly tied up in there and what you have to do is unlikely to bother him, it's sometimes more convenient to leave baby where he is, rather than risk waking him and going through the whole routine again by trying to put him down. (Even in deep sleep, some babies are particularly sensitive to that immediate loss of warmth, ya know?)

Anyway, all I'm trying to add is: It's not spoiling baby to keep him tied up next to you, even if he sleeps his whole nap that way. Don't let anyone tell you different!

(Off soapbox.)

--Kate, home/unschooling mom two three girls (6, 3, and Tiny)
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#6 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 01:03 AM
 
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I did read this-and it seems that I'm stuck with a baby that it doesn't work for =(
I have tried all different things, only waiting a few minutes before putting him down, putting him down at 20, 30, up to an hour later. It seems that he will only stay asleep on his own if he feels like it! If he doesn't, he's awake and grinning at me. Little stinker!

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#7 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 01:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simplymother View Post
Good information I wish I'd had as a new mommy.

Also good to know: It's okay not to put the baby down at all--if you're comfortable and baby is too. Especially in the newborn stage, where they go in and out of sleep so easily. And often. It's okay, if you're comfortable, say you've got baby in a wrap and is snuggly tied up in there and what you have to do is unlikely to bother him, it's sometimes more convenient to leave baby where he is, rather than risk waking him and going through the whole routine again by trying to put him down. (Even in deep sleep, some babies are particularly sensitive to that immediate loss of warmth, ya know?)

Anyway, all I'm trying to add is: It's not spoiling baby to keep him tied up next to you, even if he sleeps his whole nap that way. Don't let anyone tell you different!

(Off soapbox.)
I agree completely! My first I held almost always and had trouble putting her down anytime and worried I had corrupted her falling asleep alone. With my 2nd, she napped on me for 2 years and now is when I put her down after about 20 mins. and she's a kid who needs her space all night long (even if she's sleeping right beside you she will sleep sideways to get her space). So unlike my 1st, yet held for naps at least a year longer!

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#8 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 09:09 AM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simplymother View Post
Good information I wish I'd had as a new mommy.

Also good to know: It's okay not to put the baby down at all--if you're comfortable and baby is too. Especially in the newborn stage, where they go in and out of sleep so easily. And often. It's okay, if you're comfortable, say you've got baby in a wrap and is snuggly tied up in there and what you have to do is unlikely to bother him, it's sometimes more convenient to leave baby where he is, rather than risk waking him and going through the whole routine again by trying to put him down. (Even in deep sleep, some babies are particularly sensitive to that immediate loss of warmth, ya know?)

Anyway, all I'm trying to add is: It's not spoiling baby to keep him tied up next to you, even if he sleeps his whole nap that way. Don't let anyone tell you different!

(Off soapbox.)
I couldnt agree more!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahlea View Post
I did read this-and it seems that I'm stuck with a baby that it doesn't work for =(
I have tried all different things, only waiting a few minutes before putting him down, putting him down at 20, 30, up to an hour later. It seems that he will only stay asleep on his own if he feels like it! If he doesn't, he's awake and grinning at me. Little stinker!
with DS in the beginning we had more success putting him down awake or half awake. or putting him down, and then moving away SUPER fast. I know it sounds counter-intuitive. it was because I would have to pee really bad or something and I woul d put him down and more away super fast and he's go "eh" and then go to sleep for hours. you definitely have to play around with it a lot, and there is no sure fire way. you should read the baby sleep book though its very informative
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#9 of 12 Old 02-19-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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We're experiencing a similar situation and I was here looking for suggestions. I thought I was creating a whole new post but replied to your post by accident.
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#10 of 12 Old 02-20-2009, 08:53 PM
 
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You know, I've read this, and I understand it. However, I can't find anywhere what to do when the child is dead to the world - limp limbed to the max - and STILL wakes up within 2 to 3 minutes of being put down. And wakes up fully. Not prompted by noise or anything. Whether or not the bed is warm. Whether or not the baby is swaddled. Whether or not I stay right by her side. Whether or not the moon is full, the mail was on time, or the tide is out.

Also haven't heard any good answers for when the child can outlast you and you therefore end up sleeping sitting up, with a sore neck an hour later to show for it.
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#11 of 12 Old 02-20-2009, 09:07 PM
 
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Just wanted to add: I always transfer to the bed with my daughter still nursing, nurse a few more minutes, then unlatch. My daughter is 3 an this is still our routine. Transfering her straight to the bed almost never works.
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#12 of 12 Old 02-22-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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I have a similar situation. My SO can get our daughter to sleep and put her down & often she sleeps very well this way. If I'm putting her to sleep, I nurse her in the bed and then pull off. I often sneak away about 15-20 minutes later if she wasn't too hungry, or as soon as two minutes after she stops really drinking- it depends. If I don't pull off, she can stay latched for several hours, even while totally asleep. Occasionally I can nurse her in a wrap and get it off & put her down without waking her up, but the majority of the time we are in the bed.
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