His face was wrapped up in blankets!!! *update* - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 08:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
**Update as of 11/4/09: Thank you for all of the advice. I'm happy to report that we have been safely co-sleeping for 11 months and will continue to do so! **

I had the scare of my life last night when I awoke to my 13 week old baby struggling and fussing. He normally sleeps between us and his face was completely wrapped up in sheet and blankets. Terrifying!!!!

How do I make co-sleeping safe for us? We have a queen size bed. He can't sleep up high because our pillows are there. When he sleeps lower (near my breast, which is where he is when we fall asleep nursing) then he gets tangled up in our bedding.

I've now read that babies should sleep between their mother and a bed rail and I've also read that babies should NEVER sleep next to a bed rail.

Help! Until I can get this figured out, I'm not putting him back in bed with us and that is certainly going to mean no sleep for any of us!

MamasBoys is offline  
#2 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 08:19 PM
 
ChristyMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You need to not have any pillows or blankets near him. Increase the warmth of your clothing. I used a quilt - no comforter, nothing bulky - pulled up to my waist, so nowhere near DS. DS slept in a sleep sack.

Baby should sleep between mom and bedrail, not between mom and dad. Make sure your bedrail is not one a smaller baby could get caught in. I like the mesh ones without actual rails.
ChristyMarie is offline  
#3 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 08:26 PM
 
Golden's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: 495 MA
Posts: 1,381
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sleep sack or double PJs for babe sleeping between mesh bed rail and mom.

We at one point put our mattress on the floor pressed up against a wall, with a large beach towel rolled tight and jammed into the small area where the wall meets the bed. That solves the problem when they start to crawl and you aren't in the bed yet early evening.
Golden is offline  
#4 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I personally have to sleep with the covers up to my chin. So I suppose if I get a bed rail that would work. But keeping him away from my pillow?? That seems impossible.

MamasBoys is offline  
#5 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Does anyone have a link to a good bed rail?

MamasBoys is offline  
#6 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 09:25 PM
 
karika's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamasBoys View Post
I personally have to sleep with the covers up to my chin. So I suppose if I get a bed rail that would work. But keeping him away from my pillow?? That seems impossible.
the safe est and best way to cosleep with a baby is to have no pillows. there was another thread about this very same thing earlier today. just remember we are supposed to sleep with our babies, but beds, covers and pillows are a relatively new thing in humans development. think like a cave person in all you do IMO. read the stickies and read the websites about safe cosleeping. pillows and regular covers are dangerous in most instances. i put baby up real high (no pillows) so i can get my thin cover up to my chin and it only comes to her waist. or i wear a heavy top and she is on my chest with cover only on her feet up to my waist.

To begin to save the world, we must first nurture the children. Read "The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost"    saynovax.gifgoorganic.jpgintactlact.gifMe-hippie.gifreading.gifhelp.gif10.5 yo dd1- nut.gifreading.gifblahblah.gif ; 5 yo dd2- angel.gifhearts.gifbouncy.gif
karika is offline  
#7 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karika View Post
the safe est and best way to cosleep with a baby is to have no pillows.
And here I thought co-sleeping was supposed to be so that mama and baby both get the best sleep!

MamasBoys is offline  
#8 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 09:45 PM
 
Lisa1970's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,604
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I spread the pillows apart..leaving a 12 inch + space and put the baby there. If your pillows are too big, then buy smaller ones.

Good luck!!
Lisa1970 is offline  
#9 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 10:07 PM
 
baileyann3's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Woodstock, NY
Posts: 742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I nurse babe to sleep and then move down so my head is equal with hers and I use one small pillow and a warm but thin quilt

with love, bailey...
macey 5.18.08
baileyann3 is offline  
#10 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 10:12 PM
 
SunKessed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 46
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We sidecared a crib (given to us).

We made it level with the matress. That way she had her own space - but was within arm's reach. When she slept between us - we pulled the pillows apart so that there was a 12 to 18" gab between them and she slept there.
SunKessed is offline  
#11 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 10:23 PM
 
IlluminatedAttic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We used a Snuggle Nest for the first several weeks with ds until we became more confident in our cosleeping set-up. (AKA ds started sleeping on me and nursing all. night. long. ) I replaced the pad with an organic one, then ds slept in a sleep sack and we put the nest on top of the bed covers so that we still had them pulled-up for ourselves. One of the best things was actually the little light that came with it, although I see from the picture that they have changed that part so not sure how it is now, because it was the perfect amount of illumination to check on ds or get him latched on in those first unsure days without being so harshly bright to wake him.

ETA: Looked at the picture again and just wanted to let you know the positioner inserts are removable.
IlluminatedAttic is offline  
#12 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 10:31 PM
 
Tofu the Geek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have buckwheat pillows, so they are small and not fluffy, so gives baby more room and no danger of them getting caught or covered up by a big pillow. We also keep our blankets lower and babe has her own blanket (also lower on her) and warm jammies.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
Tofu the Geek is offline  
#13 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 10:54 PM
 
IlluminatedAttic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh and we're strongly considering getting the Tres Tria this time around. A friend has one and loves it.
IlluminatedAttic is offline  
#14 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:06 PM
 
rzberrymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,753
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I posted this on another thread, but when my DD was that little I didn't use covers for myself except over my legs. DD was in a sleep sack, and I basically dressed as warmly as she was. And we do the European thing where everyone has their own twin-size comforter. So DH had his own blanket and then DD slept between me and the bedrail so that my DH's comforter couldn't get near her.
rzberrymom is offline  
#15 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:13 PM
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,689
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh mama, that must have been terrifying. A very similar thing happened with my son when he was about that age. I woke up to him struggling a bit with the very heavy blanket completely over his face. At first I felt like the worst mother ever, and then I realized that my mama instincts had kicked in immediately and I woke up completely within seconds after realizing what was going on. You are a very good, attentive mama for coming out of a dead sleep to help him. You are in tune with your baby, and you will not let any harm come to him, that is why you woke up when you did.

That being said, there are so many things you can do so that you and he both get the sleep that you need. My son was born in the very early spring, so it was still pretty cold. I would put him beside me to nurse and I would pull the blankets up to his waist, which was also at about my waist. I would then pile baby blankets on my exposed shoulder so that I would stay relatively warm, but he didn't have them anywhere near his face. I also cut down to two pillows on my bed. One was under my head, and one was tucked behind my back to help with nursing. I always knew where those two pillows were, because I can't sleep without one under my head, and the other one was always on the opposite side of my body from where he was. Bundle him up really well with warm jammies and a sleep sack, and he will be just fine. You can even completely uncover him and tuck the blanket down over your waist and under him to give you some extra security that he won't get them up over him again.

You are doing great, and you will be fine. Just remember, our mothering instincts are there for a reason, and you will absolutely, positively know when he needs help, especially if he is tucked in right beside you. You can do it, but be gentle with yourself.

ETA: I forgot to add one of the greatest sleep wear pieces of advice I ever got. Go out and buy a men's long sleeve T-Shirt in a size two or three sizes larger than you would wear. Cut a slit directly down the middle from the neck to your breast level and use that to sleep in. You can pop a breast out the slit in the middle and your arms and torso stay warm, and it is super easy to just fall asleep that way, or if you are still awake, just pop it back in. The fabric won't unravel or run, even when you run it through the wash, and the t-shirts are cheap enough that you won't feel that badly about cutting one, or having multiple ones if you are still leaking milk at night.

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
#16 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IlluminatedAttic View Post
We used a Snuggle Nest for the first several weeks with ds until we became more confident in our cosleeping set-up.
Did you have a queen size bed or a king size? We had a snuggle nest with the last baby and it was too big. Left DH and I hanging off each side of the bed. I'm also bigger though--about a size 18.

MamasBoys is offline  
#17 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:22 PM
 
chipper26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I only pull the covers up a little past my natural waist, definitely under the boobs. I try to use more of the edge of the covers and I tuck the unused portion between dd and I, around and below her feet, Dh has separate covers that are heavier. I dress warm and use a quilt. Dd sleeps with her head even with the boobie. I always have one arm sort of tucked under my head, between dd and any pillows. I scoot the pillows to ehe side though so there are none above her. I also bought a small square pillow you would probably use on a sofa as my second pillow so that I can scoot down closer to her and not feel like my pillow would ever cover her.

I cut off an old thermal underwear jersey just above my boobs. This way my arms and chest are covered without the bunching of pulling up multiple layers. You could also use a turtle neck. I also have a few shirts that I cut slits in at the boobs so I'm covered, including my back and dd still has easy access.
chipper26 is offline  
#18 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:24 PM
 
aurora_skys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Get ridof that top sheet! Its thin, sticks close to the skin and face, and as you have learned baby can get wrapped in it easily!! Just sleep with a warm comforter. I find that a stiffer one works well for us because baby just pushes it away from his face and it stays where he pushes it.
aurora_skys is offline  
#19 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie View Post



ETA: I forgot to add one of the greatest sleep wear pieces of advice I ever got. Go out and buy a men's long sleeve T-Shirt in a size two or three sizes larger than you would wear. Cut a slit directly down the middle from the neck to your breast level and use that to sleep in. You can pop a breast out the slit in the middle and your arms and torso stay warm, and it is super easy to just fall asleep that way, or if you are still awake, just pop it back in. The fabric won't unravel or run, even when you run it through the wash, and the t-shirts are cheap enough that you won't feel that badly about cutting one, or having multiple ones if you are still leaking milk at night.
This is a neat idea, thanks!

I can't possibly sleep without pillows and I doubt I can sleep without my comforter up to my chin. I think I'd feel safer, though, if I can get ahold of a crib rail so he won't be in between us anymore, at least.

MamasBoys is offline  
#20 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
MamasBoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Whidbey Island, WA
Posts: 578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chipper26 View Post

I cut off an old thermal underwear jersey just above my boobs. This way my arms and chest are covered without the bunching of pulling up multiple layers. You could also use a turtle neck. I also have a few shirts that I cut slits in at the boobs so I'm covered, including my back and dd still has easy access.
These ideas are all very sexy. LOL!

MamasBoys is offline  
#21 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:32 PM
 
IlluminatedAttic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamasBoys View Post
Did you have a queen size bed or a king size? We had a snuggle nest with the last baby and it was too big. Left DH and I hanging off each side of the bed. I'm also bigger though--about a size 18.
We have a king. It was our one big purchase that we saved and saved and saved for when we knew the baby was coming.

I do the t-shirt thing too but I always cut a slit in each side, never thought about trying just one down the middle. Now I'll have to experiment....
IlluminatedAttic is offline  
#22 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:35 PM
 
mumkimum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ohio-land
Posts: 2,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzberrymom View Post
I posted this on another thread, but when my DD was that little I didn't use covers for myself except over my legs. DD was in a sleep sack, and I basically dressed as warmly as she was. And we do the European thing where everyone has their own twin-size comforter. So DH had his own blanket and then DD slept between me and the bedrail so that my DH's comforter couldn't get near her.
We did something similar to this (dh & I having our own 'other blankets') until we could tell dd was able to handle having any kind of blanket around her. And I dropped down to 1 pillow which I mostly kept away from the babe while sleeping.
mumkimum is offline  
#23 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:36 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we got a space heater and made our room a little warmer so we didn't need the heavy comforter. We have separate blankets so they don't bridge across where lo sleeps. We also separated our pillows so they aren't near her although she usually sleeps down lower (boob-level). she also sleeps on her side.
PaigeC is offline  
#24 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:36 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh i have to second getting a king! so worth it!
PaigeC is offline  
#25 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:43 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,383
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I use a pillow, but the baby stays down near my breasts. The pillow is under my head. I guess I'm just not understanding the logistics of how a pillow that is under my head is supposed to smother a baby who is not under my head.

I do what many others have said, I sleep in something that's warm up top and cover my bottom half with a quilt and wool blanket (I don't like to wear anything on my legs,) both of which are heavy enough and non-poofy enough not to get tangled up. We've never had another person on the other side of the baby, I'm only comfortable with myself being aware of where the baby is.
cottonwood is offline  
#26 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:46 PM
 
PajamaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: KC metro area
Posts: 3,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For some reason I could never get a bed rail that seemed long enough/secure enough, so I ended up sticking a full length body pillow underneath my fitted sheet at the edge of the mattress. It made a little hill that a baby couldn't accidentally roll over, and the fitted sheet stayed pulled tight so there was nothing for her to get wrapped up in or stuck in.
PajamaMama is offline  
#27 of 57 Old 02-24-2009, 11:54 PM
 
Limabean1975's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzberrymom View Post
I posted this on another thread, but when my DD was that little I didn't use covers for myself except over my legs. DD was in a sleep sack, and I basically dressed as warmly as she was. And we do the European thing where everyone has their own twin-size comforter. So DH had his own blanket and then DD slept between me and the bedrail so that my DH's comforter couldn't get near her.
This. Except I did cover to my chin - no top sheet, single duvet for me and single duvet for DH. Baby's head down near my breast, well away from my pillow. And the #1 thing that is saving your baby that will NOT save them in a crib in another room? Your mama instincts - your baby did NOT suffocate in this incident - you woke up! I heard from DH that a few times when DS was between the two of us, I gave him a hard shove when he rolled too close, *without waking up* or knowing what I was doing.

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
Limabean1975 is offline  
#28 of 57 Old 02-25-2009, 12:00 AM
 
Hokulele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found I couldn't sleep without a pillow, but if you move the pillows aside you can create a large area where the baby can sleep up at pillow height but not on a pillow. So I slept on the edge of my pillow with DD's head at the same level as me.

As for covers, I found the best way to keep them off DD was to tuck any sheets/duvets/comforters into the foot end of the bed so that they only reached as high as my waist level. That way there was no chance they'd ride up to where DD's face was and accidentally cover her.
Hokulele is offline  
#29 of 57 Old 02-25-2009, 12:05 AM
 
nerdymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: too far away from the mountains, VA
Posts: 2,714
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Limabean1975 View Post
This. Except I did cover to my chin - no top sheet, single duvet for me and single duvet for DH. Baby's head down near my breast, well away from my pillow. And the #1 thing that is saving your baby that will NOT save them in a crib in another room? Your mama instincts - your baby did NOT suffocate in this incident - you woke up! I heard from DH that a few times when DS was between the two of us, I gave him a hard shove when he rolled too close, *without waking up* or knowing what I was doing.
LOL! I have done this so many times. I don't know how I manage to do it, but it happens.

Anyone else here use the snugtuck pillow? Very nice, and secure.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
nerdymom is offline  
#30 of 57 Old 02-25-2009, 12:16 AM
 
nudhistbudhist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 453
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We took the rail completely off our crib and its parked right up against the bed, (like an extension of our bed). We have the crack filled with blankets, and then put a blanket across the crib and our bed, so its one big bed. This way, i can nurse him, he's not against a rail or between us, and hubby and I have our covers. We swaddled him, so he was warm and felt snug.

Placenta eating EC mom to my sweet DS Skyy 08/24/08 and Lotus Birth HBAC DD Aspen 01/13/2010 Healed by her birth
nudhistbudhist is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off