From the get go we slept with pillows and blankets and sheets and on a bed that was raised off the floor. For the first week my hubby slept with us but he kept sorta waking up and thinking that he had lost the baby when the baby was just sleeping on me or breastfeeding. He decided to sleep in another bed for the first month or two because of this. He once sat up in his sleep holding a piece of blanket, telling me he had the babies foot and asking where the rest of the baby had went. LOL He doesn't remember this.
We can't afford to heat the house to 70 or more day and night and my son refuses to sleep in heavy clothes and I can't stand sleeping in more than a bra and underwear either. We have a feather blanket and have never had a problem. Lately, he has been crawling in his sleep and sometimes backing himself under the blanket and then he flails until I take the blanket off his head or until he kicks it off himself. Oh, now that he is self-mobile we have the bed sitting on the floor with no boxspring.
Once, when my son was about two weeks we were in bed, him asleep and me reading a book. He starts choking. I roll him onto his side to clear his mouth of this frothy white foam stuff that he had spit up. He actually started turning blue for a moment. SCARY! If I wasn't there to help him what would have happened? If he had been in a crib alone in another room... Now I never worry about tummy sleeping (which was the only way he would happily sleep) and I am so happy to have found a group that encourages cosleeping when so many people are against it.
But as far as everything else, yes we do all this. The baby goes back and forth from the left side of the bed to between dh and I, I keep the blankets to her chest and have pillows on the bed, etc... I think you just need to know how aware you are. I am comfortable with my momma cat being on the bed because she stays at the end, but I am not sure I'd let a dog in if we had them.
I am out on the ff'ed and obese issues as neither of these apply to me and I haven't read the research. I know studies have shown increased risk if mom smoked during pregnancy, so I think mom's who did need to know that and take caution.
A mom who is drunk or otherwise intoxicated certainly has no business sharing a sleeping surface with her child and absolutely there should not be non-essential extras in the bed - plastic bags for example.
i think a lot of our maternal instincts are there for our specific child.
have a pillowtop mattress, use a pillow...but sleep only on the edge of it...lo sleeps btween me and the rail, use a blanket that her little feet go on top of and it goesto my waist....bed is on a frame and we do sometimes let her sleep alone in the bed. I lived in terror for months reading all of the precautions...feeling negligent and every "it's unsafe" comment from my mother made me feel even worse....it's the only way any of us gets any sleep!
J- mama to E (8/08) and C (11/10)
When we licensed as foster parents it was deemed that the ONLY "safe" way to sleep a baby was in a crib with no blankets or bumpers with bars at a certain small spacing and on baby's back. Poor baby. Glad I didn't listen to that advice with my DS.
Erin , Happy wife of Honey Bear , mom of Curly Miss (11/04), Little Mister (10/06), Princess Abi (3/08), and The Bean (9/09) <>< oh, and I blog.
absolutely, as well as the need to sleep. i wasn't sleeping well when i followed all of the rules. we both slept better once i broke a few (sleep with pillow and open-weave blanket!). and now i LOVE cosleeping, wehreas before, it was something i dreaded.
I keep him as far away from DH as possible because I have watched DH flop onto DS and not notice. He is a very heavy sleeper. I'm thinking about sidecarring.
I have boys! My first baby boy was born 10/08 and my second baby boy was born 7/12
He was born at home, and the midwives just tucked us all in together, and that's how we've stayed sleeping the last 6 weeks. We're really "bad" bed-sharers; we have a pillowtop, high bed with a down duvet and cats that sleep at the foot. LO sleeps tummy to tummy with me, with my arm around him, his head pillowed on my biceps. He still needs help to latch, so he wakes me briefly and then I usually go back to sleep as he nurses. I do keep him away from hubby unless I'm awake and up to monitor, since DH isn't usually aware of the babe when he's asleep.
I credit sharing the family bed with getting as much sleep as I have since LO's birth. I can't imagine him in another room.
I don't know anyone who bedshares and follows every single rule, and I know a lot of people who bedshare. Just do what feels right and try not to worry about it. Don't be grossly irresponsible, of course, and use some common sense. You will be fine.
Loving wife and mama to my sweet little son (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl (Fall 2010)
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw
Hi, I don't usually post, but after reading the last issue of mothering I wanted to get some opinions.
I was very grateful for the articles, and all the pictures about co sleeping, it really helps to see that other families have similar loving experiencing when bed sharing.
I was concerned, however when reading the guidelines to safe bed sharing. I realized that I didn't practice these guidelines at all! My DD is now 2 yrs old so some of the precautions do not apply, as they would for an infant. But regardless my bed sharing practices were pretty much the same when she was younger.
Let me explain: I have 3 pillows in the bed, a sheet, and comforter. She frequently sleeps between husband and I (as I get uncomfortable sleeping on the same side all night), Our bed is not on the floor. We frequently take naps on the couch (even when she was an infant). We side car the crib. And she sleeps in our adult bed, alone all the time...especially when she was younger! These are all things that designate unsafe bed sharing according to the article. Now all I need to do is start smoking and go to sleep drunk and drugged.
Furthermore, I'm pregnant and fully intend to cosleep with new baby, and don't plan on kicking DD out of bed when new baby arrives. But there are all kinds of precautions against allowing older kids sleep with infants?!?
I also noticed that many of the pictures featured in the article revealed similar practices (i.e. pillow, blankets, baby and child), so that came off as a little contradictory to me.
Anyhow, the long and short of it is, that I'm feeling a bit shameful right now, and wondering if I'm lucky that my DD didn't suffocate, or strangle or something equally horrifying.
Do I need to change before next baby comes?
I take every guideline with a grain of salt, but I am glad to hear that I am not the only one.
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
The question is what is the risk of pillows and blankets to children who have control of their heads and bodies? It is easy to see how a baby who can't move at will is at risk of suffocation from bedding. But what is the risk to a mobile baby/child? And when does the risk subside (i.e. obviously I don't suffocate when I cover my face with a blanket or have part of my pillow covering my face).
Whenever people act shocked and say they would worry about rolling over the baby, I have to laugh because I am SO aware of him when I sleep. That, and he's kind of huge!
SAHM to DS Jan09, DD Mar11.
I also think it's funny that the mdc cosleeping smilie violates the 'rules' of cosleeping - 2 kids side by side
Hahaha. And mine won't sleep side by side. They play and kiss and giggle and tickle. I have to be their separator at night.
Katreena, 39 year old Alaskan Mama to 1 and 1
I'd never get any sleep if I followed all the rules
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)