sleeping only when cuddled - do they grow out of it? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
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My son is very little - not quite 2 months. And he only will sleep with a parent (in our bed at night, in lap or in moby wrap during the day). I don't mind the cosleeping, but it would be nice to occasionally be able to put him down somewhere for one of his naps. He's fine with being put down when awake and happy, but never when sleepy or asleep (wakes up to scream within a few min).

For others who've had babies like this. Do they grow out of it on their own? When? If not, what did you do to ease them into being put down for naps?
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#2 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 02:49 PM
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My DS is like this still at 7 months, but will tolerate being put down for naps. I couldn't do that, though, until he was around 4 months old. But we cosleep at night, and sometimes if I don't have anything to do I will nap with him as well. The only way I CAN put him down, though, is if he is DEAD asleep, and I lay him on his belly.

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#3 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 02:56 PM
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Yes, they do grow out of it.

For my kids, it was *much* *much* later than you want to know. DD never took a nap that she was not held during (or in the carseat). At some point, DS could be cuddled to sleep and then left.

They both cuddled to sleep for years (and then, when they were older we could leave the bed after they were asleep).

Now, at 7 & 10 they both like cuddling before they fall asleep but they don't *need* to and DD generally falls asleep on her own after cuddling. (I cuddle with DD then DS, so DS is more likely to fall asleep while cuddling because it is later).



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#4 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 10:10 PM
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i don't know... but i know that i grew into it

i used to be frusterated that i couldn't get anything done during DD's naps. now i just cuddle with her and take a nap myself, or mess around on MDC. it helps her sleep longer (she only takes a 30 minute nap if i'm not here, and wakes up crying for mama ) and i get some downtime.
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#5 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 11:33 PM
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I know when you are in the midst of it, it is hard to imagine - but you really will long for the days when all you got were endless snuggles. They do outgrow it - and you will then miss it. Try and rest and enjoy this precious time - I'll be very cliche and say it will be over before you know it!

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#6 of 20 Old 04-08-2009, 11:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
Yes, they do grow out of it.

For my kids, it was *much* *much* later than you want to know.
Oh, I don't know, I might drop one or 2 "much"es. The time goes faster though than you think it will when it's ahead of you.

We still lie down w/my 4 yo to get her to sleep, but if she's tired, it only takes 5-10 minutes.
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#7 of 20 Old 04-09-2009, 01:46 AM
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Yes, they grow out of it. I miss it now!
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#8 of 20 Old 04-09-2009, 05:20 AM
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mine grew out of it. i can't remember when, but she's only 10 months old, so it wasn't a long stage (seemed like it at the time though!). she still likes to fall asleep while being held but she doesn't mind being put down once she's asleep - although she will only nap for an hour at a time, whether on or off me.
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#9 of 20 Old 04-09-2009, 11:13 AM
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My 7 1/2 month old DD is sleeping by herself in our bed as I'm writing this. She napped exclusively in my arms while i rocked her up until last week and coslept cuddled up to me at night. I worried a lot about when she would transition and it just happened basically all of a sudden. She just didn't want to be held anymore so I put her in the bed to sleep and once she's asleep I can get up. Your baby knows what's best. Being held and snuggled is actually releasing chemicals in their body and yours that are good for both of you. He'll let you know when he's had enough. Happy sleeping!

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#10 of 20 Old 04-09-2009, 07:09 PM
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well i have a 26 month old who still hasn't outgrown it one little bit. i do admit that i am starting to lose it - she will only sleep about 40 minutes without me there and then wakes up screaming for me. i haven't seen a movie in years now. i have yet to go out at night because i know she will wake up...

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#11 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 04:52 AM
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Have you tried tightly swaddling, rocking your baby as if they were in the Moby being walked around, and lying your LO down once he is out??? The swaddling really helps my little guy!!! Baby Carrier Superstore & Sprout Soup Columbus, OH Natural Family Store
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#12 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 11:34 AM
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My 8mo old is the same way now but has not always been. I couldn't put her down to sleep until she was around 5mo. Then I could nurse her to sleep and put her down after she fell asleep. After about a month of that I started to be able to just lay her down and she would fall almost right asleep.

But as soon as she figured out the crawling everything stopped. I couldn't just lay her down because she crawled all over the place (our bed is on the floor and she figured out how to slide onto the floor ) and if she fell asleep in my arms, she would wake up as soon as my foot hit the top step. So we got a pack n' play for downstairs thinking I could just lay her in that (we had to stop using the bassinet when she fell out of it ) but she will not sleep in it.

So now I just hold her. I get nothing done around the house, but I get to watch her sleep (yesterday she was LAUGHING in her sleep, not just giggling, but real-honest-to-god LAUGHING! I would have missed it if I wasn't holding her) and relax for about an hour at a time.

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#13 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 11:00 PM
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Around 3 or 4 months, I could nurse DD and then slide her over next to me or roll her over so I didn't move her out of the position she was in. At 2 months, she was still sleeping on me, though.

Unfortunately, at 2 years, I still hold her until she is asleep and then put her down when she is dead asleep. Interestingly enough, I was talking about this with my MIL, and she said my DH (her second child) was the same way, her first child could go down awake, but woke up easily, so some of it might just be a personality thing, too.

Like the other poster said, I do love holding DD while she falls asleep, I can look at her and get to see her talk or laugh in her sleep, it's so cute.

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#14 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 11:09 PM
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Yes, around 6 yo.

He still cuddles to fall asleep but doesn't sleep pressed up to me the way he used to. Sometime during the past year, my arm stopped being his pillow.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#15 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 11:45 PM
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IMHO? Way too soon! DD is almost 22 mo. She loooooves to snuggle. But, there are some nights (like tonight) when she wants to stretch out on her own and fall asleep.

All children "grow out" of their need for a lot of snuggle time. Like PPs, please just appreciate the time you have now with your LO. It goes by so very fast!!!

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#16 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 12:29 AM
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I remind myself that when he's out on his first date, driving the car, and he's not home yet....I'll be wishing he was a little baby/toddler nursing to sleep and cuddling with me.

My 3 kids have all been kids that will only go to sleep with me if they are nursing. Right now the baby will only STAY sleeping if he's nursing. He's 10 months old. It gets oppressive sometimes, especially since I have a toddler and a 6 yr old that need me too. But, I've had two babies just like this one so there's nothing new here.

I think that as they get older, you can do things to get them to sleep on their own but they are things I am personally not willing to do to a baby. The days are long, the years are short. I cherish the time.

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#17 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 12:33 AM
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my older 2 could take naps alone at around 1 yr, my 7 mo. old is still in this stage, i am holding him right now while he is sleeping actually.

Wife to dh, Mommy to ds1 12/2002, ds2 9/2005, and ds3 9/2008.
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#18 of 20 Old 04-13-2009, 01:12 AM
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at 4-5 months I could put her down after she was asleep.

DD 04/07 DS 12/09
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#19 of 20 Old 04-13-2009, 08:19 PM
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DD is six months and for her it depends on the day. Right now she's sleeping on a blanket on the floor, the other day she napped in her crib, but this afternoon she wouldn't nap unless I laid next to her and held her. So it will happen, just slowly.

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#20 of 20 Old 04-19-2009, 12:30 AM
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Mine is 9 months old and sleeping on me right now. The only thing I'd really like is to have some time with DH alone in the evening after DD has gone to bed but before we're ready to turn in. We need some alone time. During the day, I really like the quiet time with her sleeping in a baby carrier and me on the computer or reading or napping. I read in one of the Sears books that you won't look back and wish you had cuddled your baby less!

cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding mom to my DD born July 4, 2008
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