"12 hours at 12 weeks" -- WTF?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-25-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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Old 04-26-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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wow, that is just sad. that's more about the parents than the baby!

Mama to a wild thing (10/08) and a new thing (8/5/10) and wife to the love of my
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Old 04-26-2009, 02:53 AM
 
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That makes me ill. Personally, I would be getting names & calling social services on anyone who thinks that kind of thing is acceptable. It's cruel & abusive to withhold food from anyone, much less a tiny baby. Why do these abuse manuals keep getting published & why aren't their authors being charged with child endangerment, at the very least?

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Old 04-26-2009, 03:00 AM
 
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I would have had to say something. Another example of people not seeing babies as human. You wouldnt do this to a invalid adult so how is it ok to do it to a baby.

 
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Old 04-26-2009, 03:08 AM
 
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: One of the Amazon.com reviews says that it isn't "starving your baby" because "you aren't supposed to start until they're 10lbs and 8 weeks old" :

And apparently one of the authors is a "judicial law clerk", there's NO excuse for all the unsupported claims.
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Old 04-27-2009, 11:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
(nak)

when I first heard of this and read the reviews online at barnes n noble, I have to admit I was saying to myself "maybe it's good to follow some of the advice if it makes for good sleeping habits in the future".

It seems to me that most of us APers have sleep problems that are hard to resolve.

Though I could never starve my baby by feeding him only every 4 hours, and I will never let my baby CIO, I was thinking maybe there are some techniques we could glean from the book?

Then I heard about the baby who stays in his crib for twelve hours whether awake or not. Who doesn't cry when he's hungry because he is used to being hungry. You can pretty much teach someone to sit back and take anything as long as they are used to it. Being in a crib for 12 hours is not normal. Babies are meant to be held and cuddled. Im not sure I really want my baby to experience being "pent up" and just sitting back and taking it...

I like my little sleep fighter - he has a personality, he's not being "forced" into the mold. I like it when he complains because he is uncomfortable. Or when he squeals because he is excited. I don't want the typical "take whatever comes" baby. My ds is human, he has feelings and needs and he should be taught to express those needs.

So they can keep their books and their methods of forcing babies into adult schedules and timetables. And I will keep my very happy, original, full of personality, sleep fighting baby. Well hopefully the sleep fighting goes away....
That's just beautiful!

Did anyone notice (in the book review) that it's a "Limited-Crying Solution?" So much nicer than CIO! (ha)
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Old 04-27-2009, 05:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post
That makes me ill. Personally, I would be getting names & calling social services on anyone who thinks that kind of thing is acceptable. It's cruel & abusive to withhold food from anyone, much less a tiny baby. Why do these abuse manuals keep getting published & why aren't their authors being charged with child endangerment, at the very least?
:Absolutely!!! These so-called experst need to be held responsible for the dangerous nonsense they put out there!!! My first thought was, 'does a baby actually have to die before someone takes action???"

Kelly : mama to Austin and Isabella Wife to Rockin'Rollin'Rick :
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Old 04-27-2009, 05:46 PM
 
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That is heartbreaking.



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Old 04-27-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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I dont believe that this is really true only for APers, I think this is true for all parents. It might seem more pronounced in APers for these reasons though...

I believe that a) a great deal of parent wont admit in public the issues that they have because they think that it makes them bad parents to have a kid that is older than 4 weeks old and doesnt STTN and b) harsh sleep training methods are being used which may seem to make a child sleep well because the poor child gets disheartened after a while... but this typically does not last.
I personally think we have less sleep issues to worry about. I have a girlfriend who sleep trained using the Ferber method, and every single time something happens to disrupt her child's schedule, they are smack dab back at square one.

I know I spent most of the first year up late, and I know I still get up twice a night or more to feed DS, but really? It's normal to me now. I'm used to it, and I actually consider a night where he gets up 2-3 times a great night.

APer's and Non STing Moms have lower expectations of sleep habits. These people who sleep train expect sleep habits that even some adults don't have, thus the reason I think they end up putting more work and more effort into their sleep issues. Quite frankly, the spend more time stressing about sleep then I do. I just accept my son as he is, and his sleep patterns are what they are.

ETA: This book makes me barf in my mouth too. The positive reviews on the website are scary as well. Let's talk about selfish parenting!
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Old 04-27-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by teale View Post

Quite frankly, the spend more time stressing about sleep then I do. I just accept my son as he is, and his sleep patterns are what they are.

ETA: This book makes me barf in my mouth too. The positive reviews on the website are scary as well. Let's talk about selfish parenting!
:

My son is perfect just the way he is! waking up at 3am for an hour of playing included! (even though sometimes I wish he would just go back to sleep )

I knew that when he was born he wouldn't STTN for a while - I figure it doesn't matter if I want to deal with it or not I have to. I do have to hand it to single mothers though - I LOVE my BF for doing each and every middle of the night diaper change since Lincoln was born! I do have to feed him a few times a night, but thats why we co-sleep - quite literally I decided when I was pregnant that I didn't want to have to fully wake up to feed Lincoln, and that I also didn't want him to have to wake up fully to eat - this helps both of us get back to sleep better!
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Old 04-27-2009, 10:28 PM
 
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This post made me so sad!!! Who does this to a baby? On purpose? How can you look at those sweet little faces and think - "nope, I'm not feeding you. I don't care if you are hungry, I want to sleep." Makes me want to cry

I haven't read the book, just what I've read here - but, I had to do something so I wrote a review on B&N's website:

"A 12 week baby needs to be fed on demand - not on a schedule! Certainly not a 4 hour schedule! That is akin to child abuse!!! Please - don't buy this book!!! Teach your child to enjoy sleeping by providing a safe conforting environment for your child to sleep in. Every time your child wakes up, take that as an opportunity to show your child how loved and cherished your child is. This will give your child the gift of healty eating and sleep habits that will last a lifetime. Please - for your baby's sake - DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!!!!"
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Old 04-28-2009, 12:06 AM
 
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Old 04-29-2009, 08:46 AM
 
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To feed the baby every 4 hours during the day so that "she gets used to being hungry, and it doesn't wake her up at night."???
If this was done to a prisoner it would constitute torture. If you starve an animal you are charged, prosecuted and forbiudden to ever keep an animal again.
Sounds like the perfect way to destory a childs trust, teach them to ignore one of the most basic needs for survival, stunt their emotional and physical growth and their metabolism in one go. If someone wanted a baby who has dumbed down his own needs and expressions from the get go - if a well-trained robot or a somneone who grows into an adult explosive with pent up rage is something they really really think is normal!! WFT????????????????
How would that women feel if someone starved her for 36 hours to teach her to get used to be being hungry and did that for years?? Makes me feel ill just thinking about this being done to a baby.
I wonder how many peope who were schedule fed as babies and left to cry with hunger, have serious food issues today - anorexia, bulimia, hypoglycemia, food control, over control, BDD, food anxiety, food addiction, eating voraciously to fill emotional voids. It's all there and I see it around me every single day.
Now I want to recall a conversation I over heard with a colleague who had just returned from paternity leave (3 weeks) and was asked if 'the baby was good for them' - to which he replied: for us, of course he is perfect, just what we wanted . But if you mean is he convenient - of course not. Had we wanted conveneince, we would have got a cat'.
I thought it an excellent reply.
About 3 months later I heard the same person ask if the baby slept through the night - to which he replied, amazed "Oh No - that would be so strange' Than asked the person, puzzled - 'do you sleep through the night'. And of course most of us wake up at some point.
And I know BFD'ing mothers of twins who wake up hungry and eat during the night. Just like their babies do!
Saying a baby needs to be 'trained' to sleep by leaving them to express their fears and terrors is like saying that they need to be trained to eat by force feeding them til they'e sick!!!
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Old 04-29-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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You feed the baby every 4 hours during the day so that "she gets used to being hungry, and it doesn't wake her up at night."
Man, I used to be friends with a girl who did the exact same kind of thing. She had an almost 2 year old and a newborn, and she also had a system.
According to her, you're only supposed to respond to babies' cries for the first 6 weeks, "so they know the world is a safe place." But after the 6 weeks is up, that's when you start Junior on a rice cereal/formula bottle at night and let him cry it out, because he'll "never learn to fall asleep by himself" if you don't do this. Also, you'd better not make the mistake of holding Junior all of the time either, like she did with her first DS, which totally spoiled him into thinking that she was going to hold him like that all the time, god forbid. When she got pregnant with #2, she just had to put him down period and let him get used to it. And apparently you start "swatting" your baby as soon as he does something you think is inappropriate behavior, which in her older DS's case would be when he is just over a year old. It goes without saying that both of her sons were cut off the breast at 5 months.

My contention is that she cherry-picked her "wisdom" from various friends and family members, and of course those Similac baby development brochures (that suggest exactly and what kind your baby should eat, sleep, etc.).
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Old 04-29-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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SO sad for those babies. My 12wo was sleeping 12 hours at night and know how?? I fed him when ever he wanted (which was sometimes ALL day) and he did it himself! Some babies are ready that young anyway, no need to starve them!! Even if they aren't you can't starve your baby!!

Amy~ Crunchy mummy to Dane (9-15-07) & Kai (9-14-09)
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:30 PM
 
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What a cruel and hateful thing to do to a baby.
I really wish you would have asked that lady what she does when he DD cries, I think she really needs to put her parenting choices into perspective. Basically saying 'So you let her starve and cry?' might actually make her STOP AND THINK. Are you going back to that group?
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:35 PM
 
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wow, how sad.
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:52 PM
 
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People in this world really shock and disgust me.

 Jess mom to 5!!! 3 boys 2 girls and another girl on the way edd jan 31st! I have a Disabled veteran husband
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:02 PM
 
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As a new twin mother I was told I'd have to schedule my babes, that there was no other way. Which I took with a grain of salt. A stranger on the street recommended "12 by 12" so I checked it out. Read it through a couple times, tying to figure out how it could possibly work for us. Then I got it: it's totally anti-BF'ing. The author suggests that BF'ing mothers pump and feed from bottles so she'll know the babe is getting enough milk. 6 oz every 4 hours.

So, I'm supposed to sit down with my pump every 2 hours day and night, so that I have enough EBM to feed my twins their appointed "meals." Know how long that would last? Know how hard exclusive pumping is, and how messed up it is to try when there isn't a good reason to be separated from your baby?

Although I should have known better, I passed the book along to another new mom with the warning about BF'ing. She said she'd probably throw it out. I agreed.

It's hard to know what's right and what's totally off base as a new mom. But this is way out there.

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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