My kids were in daycare at that age too, so I know how you feel. Would your daycare be willing to use the sling with him? I don't think letting him cry it out is the answer and most daycares I know won't do that anyway, it would wake up all the other babies. I did try to get mine used to falling asleep without nursing, or the sling. Rocking or patting on the back, both things the daycare could/would provide.
four months is a hard time for babies. Teething, growing, mental development, just a lot of things at once, and that's really overwhelming for babies. He may be anxious, he's separated from his mommy (not trying to make you feel guilty, I was separated from my first too because I had to work, we have to eat and put a roof over our heads right?).
Have you considered asking the daycare workers if they can sling or wrap him? You can't really blame cosleeping on why he won't sleep in a crib in daycare. Cribs aren't natural for a baby, sleeping next to mommy is. That's kind of like saying, "well, breastfeeding is to blame for why babies in daycare won't take bottles."
We are modern moms having stone-age babies. Modern Western society expects babies to sleep alone and self soothe when they wake, take a bottle from anyone, stay with anyone without fussing and generally not disrupt "normal" family life. However, babies simply aren't hardwired that way, and when you look at other mammals, what do they do? Females stay close to their babies, sleep with them, breastfeed on demand, lick them until they poop () etc.
Being a first time mom is hard, but I think you're doing a great job.
I know its hard. My youngest is 4 months old and goes to daycare 3 days a week. I have yet to find a daycare that will wear my baby in a sling. I wish they would, but I know they can't possible do that for all the babies they care for. My daughter won't sleep at home unless I am holding her or sleeping next to her. Our oldest daughter still sleeps in our room. The baby normally sleeps in a baby swing or something at daycare. She likes the rocking motion. After about a month, she is starting to adjust to daycare. Its still hard though. I know she wants to be awake in the evenings when she is home, but she normally falls asleep in the sling around dinner time.
They will adjust though. Trust your instincts. Eventually he will sleep ok at daycare, it might just take a little while.
" rel="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/familybed2.gif"> DD1 12/05, DD2 12/08
Computer Engineer- I write better in 1's and 0's. ;-)
My daughter was a natural self soother. She was a thumb sucker and had her blankie and was perfectly happy putting herself to sleep. My son had alot harder time self soothing. Our daycare provider would make sure to put him in a quite, dark room, and would stay with him until he fell asleep.
They can get him to go to sleep just fine, they just can't get him to stay asleep. Occasionally they can get him to transfer to his crib successfully but then after 10 minutes he wakes up howling. It's not the noise, either, because that kid can sleep through a phone ringing right by his head, a vacuum, etc. At home when I transfer him it takes like 10 minutes of very very gradually reducing my physical contact with him. Then I have to stay in the room and when he starts to wake I'll lay a hand on him and he'll resettle. But obviously when they're busy rocking another kid to sleep they just can't do that. I think we're going to try "transfer to crib for nap" bootcamp this weekend, sans crying. We'll check out the Pantley book, thanks for the rec. I'll see if they'll swaddle; they definitely won't wrap.
He's still young enough to try swaddling - that might help for longer naps at daycare (and maybe home too). It helped my DD until about 7 months.
I have two kids who were in daycare at 4 months and I co-sleep and breastfeed them too. I really didn't have problems with my first (DS), but I did with DD. The swaddling really helped.
Another that helped was when they let her sleep in the swing or bouncy. They really aren't suppose to do this, but if she (or one of the other kids) fell asleep in there and they had a rough day (sleepwise), they would let them stay in there.
She is now almost 2 and regularly taking 2 hour naps with little or no fuss (at least at daycare).
Sometimes the greener grass is actually AstroTurf, a false promise and nothing more.
I know the label on the Boppy says not to let children sleep on them, but sometimes a child who is accustomed to being worn or held while sleeping will be able to be lay down once sleeping and stay asleep snuggled up on a Boppy. YMMV with that one, depending on comfort level.
And I totally second the swaddling suggestion and the quiet music or white noise/heartbeat machine suggestion.
I'm Heather, newly married (12/5/10) to James!
We are currently "mama" and "papa" to Maisy and soon... parents to BABY NEW YEAR 2012!! We're happily planning a and intend to