Advice for Coddling Parents: Put Baby to Sleep Alone - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone see the following article in the current issue of Time?


http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...904288,00.html
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#2 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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Leads to obesity? Yet they mention co-sleeping is big in asian counties where obesity rates are much lower than USA.

Whos to say what is more healthy? Isn't the extra love, care and closeness better for overall mental and physical health?

I struggle with articles like this now because my baby is sleeping like hell right now but the last time he did this it proved to be teething. If I didnt trust my instincts he'd be left alone in a room crying about pain alone, so heartless!
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#3 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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I read half. There are so many assumptions in that article, I don't even know what to say. :

Edited to add: Okay, I finished the rest. Is she serious? There must be something about Asian babies that makes them need less sleep? (I guess I can't add smilies in an edit, but insert one ROFLOL here. <- Edited again because I found it.)
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#4 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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OMG that is so ridiculous. Not only are you not supposed to bed share, your infant is supposed to have his/her OWN ROOM??? Give me a break! Yeah, we all know that's how cavemen did it, right? Oh, and for all of human history, parents have sought to put their babies to sleep as far away from them as possible, huh? I wonder how humankind made it this far, what with separate sleeping being a totally new thing that came about during the industrial age. So all of a sudden, every instinct we have regarding where our babies sleep is wrong? I just can't stand this elitist BS that if you are going to be a parent, you better be able to afford a separate bedroom for each child. And OMG I hate, hate HATE!!! when "experts" try to talk parents out of their natural loving instincts.

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#5 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:48 PM
 
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your infant is supposed to have his/her OWN ROOM???
Yeah, not even the major pediatric doctors group (can't remember name, they were mentioned on the co-sleeping webinar) believes this. They encourage room sharing (but not bedsharing) to reduce the risk of SIDS.
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#6 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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recommending instead that babies be allowed to learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own.
I couldn't get past that, just a couple of sentences in. Allowed to? LOL. No, there's no editorial content to that. How about "forced to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own"?
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#7 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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WTH is the deal with making INFANTS 'independent' aren't infants SUPPOSED to be dependent? Isn't that part of babyhood? :

And like the PP said, didn't they just come out with info that says room sharing reduces SIDS? I guess to this chick SIDS isn't important, so long as them darn babies are INDEPENDENT and aren't bothering Mommy and Daddy with their pesky needs overnight.

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#8 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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ARRGGGH!!!

Quote:
Studies suggest that establishing independent and healthy sleep habits early in infancy not only improves babies' daily mood and behavior,
Great. My children have all bed shared. They're all good sleepers, even dd who was a terrible sleeper as an infant. We transitioned her out of our bed, then into her own room, when I was late in pregnancy with ds2. She was about two. She slept well the first night in her room, after dh and I soothed her to sleep. I stayed with her and snuggled and kissed and sang until she dropped off...and she slept until morning. On those occasions when any of my kids fussed (or fusses) at night, dh or I respond asap - whether they're in our room or not! (This includes ds1, who woke up sobbing at the age of 15 - just a few hours before his eardrum burst from an infection. I don't care how old he is - if he wants him mom, there's a reason.) DD was a grumpy baby, and ds2 was as easy as babies get.

As for "gathering sleep data"...whatever. If the parents are sleeping, and don't get up when their baby cries, how on earth do they know if the baby is sleeping or not? Maybe it's lying awake and miserable, and not making a sound...because it knows there's no point! I don't know many CIO babies, but I know one who was still crying and upset at bedtime at an age far beyond where my kids were all sleeping through the night (although I know that doesn't mean much, because it's only my kids). I also have to wonder how she assesses "quality sleep" from what appears to be a survey-style study.

I really feel this woman went into this with her mind made up. This is just crazy.

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#9 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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That article is so ridiculous it was almost funny. I think my favourite part was where it said not to hold them or nurse them and to make sure they are at least 3 feet away - WTH?!?!? How can someone write this sort of stuff and not be embarassed at how ridiculous it is. I just don't get it.

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#10 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 10:06 PM
 
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Mindell is careful to emphasize that while her research, which was funded by Johnson & Johnson, does not support co-sleeping, it doesn't absolutely condemn it either.
Yeah...right...
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#11 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 10:13 PM
 
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Really? This article is just horrifying. Why is there such a push in the mainstream for us to ISOLATE our children from the sensations of human love and comfort?

I just know I'm going to hear about this article from certain family members. Most of my family is really supportive of the ways that we're crunchy, but they also like to gently suggest that we read and research mainstream parenting studies/articles as well.

I guess the basic concept of this article -- that a mother/husband who want to keep their baby nearby is HARMING that baby -- really sets me off. As if there isn't enough pressure and scare tactics out there for women who just want to be the best parents they can be, Time magazine is promoting this garbage?
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#12 of 69 Old 06-13-2009, 10:32 PM
 
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Don't adults usually sleep together? Don't adults usually need a sleep aid, such as a warm glass of milk, a hot bath, a book, etc? Don't adults wake up at night because they are hungry or thirsty, or have to go to the bathroom, or heard a scary noise and investigate? Soooo......why do people expect that you just lay a baby down, and they will go to sleep and stay asleep, when adults don't even do this?

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#13 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 09:04 AM
 
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:

I liked this quote-

Quote:
Children who don't sleep enough may be at increased risk of being overweight and having emotional and behavioral difficulties in adolescence and adulthood, for example.
which assumes that cosleeping babies sleep less. Well, I have a horrible sleeper and I can tell you right now he sleeps better WITH me than without.

And like a PP said, why is it that we expect infants to be so independant, yet ADULTS sleep together?

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#14 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 09:42 AM
 
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I find this whole article laughable.

Quote:
Mindell is careful to emphasize that while her research, which was funded by Johnson & Johnson, does not support co-sleeping, it doesn't absolutely condemn it either.
Mmmmm. I don't trust any baby related research funded by someone who has a HUGE interest in selling me baby products.

Quote:
Consistent with previous research, Mindell found that co-sleeping — sleeping in the same bed or bedroom — led to more disturbed sleep in infants.
Duh! The article fails to mention that this is NORMAL baby sleep. Oh wait, yeah it does, later on in the article it mentions babies waking 2 to 6 times a night.

Quote:
The problem with being present when your baby falls asleep is that they'll also expect you to be there to help them get back to sleep each time. "If you're rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, fed to sleep at bedtime, you're going to need that every time you wake up."
Oh, thanks TIME for telling me what my problem really is. I've created a baby that trusts me to be there for them in the dark. I've coddled my child so much that they have learned to seek me out for reassurance and comfort. And my worst problem, I actually do what feels right, and what really seems to be the easiest most natural thing in the world, I nurse my baby to sleep.

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#15 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 07:42 PM
 
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WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!!

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#16 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 07:51 PM
 
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this article makes me mad. even my DH (who doesnt like baby in the bed) admits he gets more sleep that way. i get more sleep and baby gets more sleep. i dont see how any of that data is correct.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post
(I guess I can't add smilies in an edit, but insert one ROFLOL here.)
use advanced edit.

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#17 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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use advanced edit.
Oh... okay. thanks.
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#18 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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...........................
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#19 of 69 Old 06-14-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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This woman came to speak at one of my group's nursing mom's meetings. I decided not to go and I am so glad. First of all- even reading stuff like this puts so many doubts in your head. Second- The research is so shaky!!
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#20 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 02:11 AM
 
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I am speechless...
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#21 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 02:17 AM
 
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If anyone needs an article to counter comments from friends/relatives, try this one.

Kelly , mama to 4yo and 1yo ,
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#22 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 09:55 AM
 
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Hm. Tell this to my 15 year old who can't keep his pants on his skinny butt, yet was never ever ever not once put to bed awake.

Crappy advice. Crappy data. Crappy information.

I hate the mainstream media.

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#23 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:23 AM
 
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Mindell is careful to emphasize that while her research, which was funded by Johnson & Johnson, does not support co-sleeping, it doesn't absolutely condemn it either. One question that remains: if vast numbers of babies in Asian populations are sleeping less than their Western peers — without any apparently society-wide disadvantage — does it truly matter if babies co-sleep or not?

"Do Asian babies need less sleep?" Mindell wonders, adding that understanding how some infants thrive on less sleep is the next step in research: "to figure out why that is, and what's the consequence."

Nevertheless, Mindell believes that parents should build bedtime routines that promote sound rest, though that doesn't necessarily mean babies must sleep through the night. "Waking is normal," she says. "All babies wake somewhere between two and six times per night."


Is the bottom line supposed to be that lack of "quality" sleep somehow causes health problems and the like? She hasn't proven this. It could be said that this unnatural "quality" sleep that she is promoting leads to a spike in SIDS. Where is that research across the board in these varied countries around the world?

So, what she is implying is that for most of human history, babies have been at a disadvantage because they have slept with mom and dad. Ridiculous!

Also, where is the breastfeeding correlation in this research and the benefits of it? Oh, and I love how she says that babies normally wake 1-6 times per night. So it's beneficial to trudge down the hall to attend to them? Or is she saying that they wouldn't wake this much if they weren't "coddled," which to me says that you train that out of them. CODDLING IS A NATURAL HUMAN RESPONSE! This article really makes me angry. : It's so one sided and influenced less by science and more by society.
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#24 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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:Puke

And this is ALL I have to say about that article.

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#25 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:48 AM
 
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I sent an email the the writer and a link to the Harvard study.
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#26 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:54 AM
 
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I like how they never mention most babies would have to cry themselves to sleep. They make it seem like they will peacefully drift off to sleep after you read a story and put them in the crib across the house. Sure.

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#27 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:13 PM
 
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The number of articles out there right now without credible information astounds me.

Whenever I see articles like these, I generally stop and check out the forum before I continue.

I've learned in the past if I read too many of these things, they get me riled up.

Thanks for sharing and thanks for all the feedback everyone.

This saved me some aggravation.

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#28 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
I couldn't get past that, just a couple of sentences in. Allowed to? LOL. No, there's no editorial content to that. How about "forced to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own"?
Oh, yeah, my kids totally wanted to learn to fall asleep on their own. If only I had read this article and had the foresight to allow it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chipper26 View Post
[COLOR="Magenta"] This article really makes me angry. : It's so one sided and influenced less by science and more by society.
Yep. I can't help it, whenever I read articles like this, I always think that the writer must either not be a parent, or be a parent trying to somehow justify what they did.

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#29 of 69 Old 06-15-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipper26 View Post
I sent an email the the writer and a link to the Harvard study.
Let us know if you get a response (though I won't be holding my breath ).

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#30 of 69 Old 06-16-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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That is a terrible article.
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