Getting baby to stay asleep after being put down - Mothering Forums
Co-sleeping and the Family Bed > Getting baby to stay asleep after being put down
ccasanova's Avatar ccasanova 10:56 PM 06-15-2009
I've started employing the strategies of NCSS. I've successfully gotten DS to not need to nurse to fall asleep (although he does still like falling asleep that way, but will still be able to fall asleep with rocking, holding, etc) and am also somewhat successfully doing the Pantley Pull off when nursing. I can also get DS to fall asleep pretty easily. Multiple times if needed, but my BIG problem is in getting him to stay asleep when I am moving him out of my arms and into his crib. As soon as he feels it under him, and sometimes just as I'm starting to lower him in, he will wake up and start to cry. He was a big time in arms sleeping baby.

Up to now, when he starts to cry, I pick him back up in my arms and put him back to sleep and then start all over again with trying to lay him down. I'm trying to put him down drowsy, or at least in light sleep so he can learn that it's ok to be put to sleep in his crib. But it's not working. Sometimes I'll put him back to sleep 5 times and he will keep waking up and complain. I no longer let him sleep in the arms so that he does not get confused about sometimes being allowed to sleep in arms and sometimes not. But I get frusterated after the 5th time or so and give up. If it's nap time, he just gets up and later is cranky (obviously) and if it's night time I'll end up going to bed with him where we nurse until he falls asleep and then does not have to be moved.

But crib sleeping is a big must now. I don't want him napping in my bed because he already fell once and DH and I are not going to risk letting it happen again.

What can I do go get him to not wake up and cry when he is moved? Help!

alegna's Avatar alegna 11:01 PM 06-15-2009
I had no luck getting dd to sleep alone until she was 18 months. Personally I think it's biological.

Instead, when she would nap (not often), I worked to get her to sleep no matter what else was going on.

If she NEEDED to nap, then I held her.

-Angela
bethanymama's Avatar bethanymama 11:23 PM 06-15-2009
Stick with it! Sounds like you are doing what I did - it took ages, but it worked. My goal was also to get him used to sleeping in the crib, so he needed to be able to fall asleep in there, or close to it, so he'd know where he was when he woke up. At first, I considered it success if he moved at all after I laid him down. Then I worked *very gradually* to laying him down when he had slightly higher levels of awareness. I would also do it repeatedly... if he protested after going in, I would pick him up and start over. If I got too tired, or he got too mad, I would just go ahead and rock him all the way to sleep and try again the next time. IMO you won't ruin anything by letting him fall asleep in your arms some of the time. It doesn't help anyone if he never gets a nap and you get frustrated. I didn't really think of it as training.... you just want him get used to the idea of sleeping in the crib.

DS is 16 months now and goes to sleep pretty easily... sometimes I still rock him if he wants it, but a lot of the time, especially for naps, he just goes right in and goes to sleep. He does need a good wind down before any sleep though... I never just throw him in there, we follow the routine so he knows what's happening and can prepare himself for sleep before he's alone in his crib.

Good luck

Bethany
ShwarmaQueen's Avatar ShwarmaQueen 11:24 PM 06-15-2009
How old is your babe? DD was well over a year and completely weaned from BFing before she slept without her body pressed up against mine. I was just never successful at getting DD to sleep in her bassinet or crib. She hated both and it was torture for both of us just trying (I just couldn't let her cry, I don't know how some moms do it ) so we just coslept. She fell off the bed once, so we rearranged the bedroom so that one side of the bed was flat up against a wall and DH slept on the other side. Then we put pillows and a blanket on the floor at the foot of the bed. It worked well and we've all slept that way since. We also considered side rails but were too broke to buy them at the time.

GL!
RubyOrganique's Avatar RubyOrganique 11:55 PM 06-15-2009
I have the same issue. Unless DD is totally asleep when we put her in her crib, she'll cry, stand up and there is no patting, rubbing or anything else that will get her to lay down.

We too, just started NCSS and I'm still doing my best to apply the Pantly Pull off before she fully falls asleep, but I'm finding it seems to be making her a more aggressive nurser.

I have given in to whatever works for naps because of NCSS' advisement that without decent naps, the nights will likely be very hard. She's hardly a napper so we're doing our best to get her some rest during the day.

I'll be watching this thread to see others' ideas. We're nearing 11 months and I'm very much ready for her to be in her crib most of the night. We're in a small apartment and our bedroom can't accommodate a crib side car. She's way too mobile to be in our bed.

I wish you luck!
Surfacing's Avatar Surfacing 01:09 AM 06-16-2009
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foreverinbluejeans's Avatar foreverinbluejeans 01:50 AM 06-16-2009
My oldest son would only nap in my arms. I learned to look forward to those times to relax or read. With my next two babies I expected them to do the same. We never even got a crib.

If want your baby to nap alone you could go for a car ride and then bring the baby in the house in the car seat. Another alternative is to get a futon or camping mat. You and baby can nurse to sleep and then you could get up and the baby couldn't fall and get hurt.
ccasanova's Avatar ccasanova 03:13 AM 06-16-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post
How old is your babe? DD was well over a year and completely weaned from BFing before she slept without her body pressed up against mine. I was just never successful at getting DD to sleep in her bassinet or crib. She hated both and it was torture for both of us just trying (I just couldn't let her cry, I don't know how some moms do it ) so we just coslept. She fell off the bed once, so we rearranged the bedroom so that one side of the bed was flat up against a wall and DH slept on the other side. Then we put pillows and a blanket on the floor at the foot of the bed. It worked well and we've all slept that way since. We also considered side rails but were too broke to buy them at the time.

GL!
DS is 8 months old. He is way too mobile to be left on the bed alone. I used to nurse him to sleep and then leave him on the bed, with pillows stacked up all around him on all sides. But then, his sneaky self, woke up, didn't make a peep and we heard a big loud thump, and then his screams. Our bed is pretty high, and he ended up with an ugly bruise on his little chubby cheek. Not something we want to go through again.

I guess I'll keep trying what I've been trying and see if one day he just says, "awh, to heck with it, I'll sleep in my crib, cuz I'm tired right now."
poppan's Avatar poppan 01:59 PM 06-16-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccasanova View Post
What can I do go get him to not wake up and cry when he is moved?
I doubt that is possible! They aren't easily tricked

If you really must get him sleeping in the crib, my suggestion would be to pat him and talk to him quietly (instead of picking him up) when he cries. Get one of those Fisher Price aquarium things so he has something to distract him and (hopefully) lull him to sleep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ccasanova View Post
But crib sleeping is a big must now. I don't want him napping in my bed because he already fell once and DH and I are not going to risk letting it happen again.
But I am wondering why he must sleep in the crib. My babies didn't throw themselves off the bed more than once. They learned what happens when they go off the edge of the bed and never did it again.

If rolling off accidentally is the problem, the answer could be one of these:
1) Put your mattress on the floor -- if he falls, it's not a long way to fall.
2) Add sleep rail or push bed against the wall and leave baby on the side closest to rail/wall
3) Sidecar the crib and put baby in crib -- you can kind of work yourself over there and be in his crib with him when needed, or you can bring him to your bed and then put him back and he's still sorta right next to you
Jen-o's Avatar Jen-o 03:38 PM 06-16-2009
We tried something a little different to get her used to her crib again (after 6 months in our bed).
I took the mattress out of the crib and laid it on the floor next to the lowered crib rails. I put blankets and pillows on the other sides of the mattress and would nurse her to sleep on the mattress, then lay next to her on the blankets. It took a few days, but it seemed to work to get her used to a different surface, and sleeping without touching me. Granted my back was wrecked for 3 weeks after that (and we undid it all by travelling for a week), but it DID work.
I was able to get her to nap in there without worry that she'd fall more than 2 inches (and if she did crawl around her room there was nothing to get into). I also had her sleeping all night in her own room, for a week.
lovesea's Avatar lovesea 05:14 PM 06-16-2009
What I do if dd doesn't fall asleep nursing, I put her in her cot, then lie on the bed where she can see me. I just let her roll around etc. If she starts getting fussy, I give her a teething ring or play with the mobile, or sometimes I snap my fingers gently and shush, sometimes I gentle tap the cot so she hears a thump thump thump noise. These things all calm her down. Sometimes once she's calm, I lie down again, sometimes I keep doing the soothing thing until she's asleep. It can take a while to get her to sleep like this, like an hour (I only do it at bedtime) but she falls asleep herself, calmly and I save my ever-aching back.
ccasanova's Avatar ccasanova 07:29 PM 06-16-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesea View Post
What I do if dd doesn't fall asleep nursing, I put her in her cot, then lie on the bed where she can see me. I just let her roll around etc. If she starts getting fussy, I give her a teething ring or play with the mobile, or sometimes I snap my fingers gently and shush, sometimes I gentle tap the cot so she hears a thump thump thump noise. These things all calm her down. Sometimes once she's calm, I lie down again, sometimes I keep doing the soothing thing until she's asleep. It can take a while to get her to sleep like this, like an hour (I only do it at bedtime) but she falls asleep herself, calmly and I save my ever-aching back.
LOL! I tried laying on the bed next to him to see if that would calm him down (since he would see he's not alone) but first thing he does is stand up and then start bouncing up and down. In other words, it's playtime to him, after a while he's tired of playing, and probably just plain tired, and then starts fussing/complaining, and if not gotten, crying.


Here is how desperate I got today. I put him to sleep as usual, layed him down as usual in his crib, he cried as usual, so I leaned over the crib rail and gave him my breast as he layed there. So here I am on my tip toes, trying to stretch my breast as much as possible so that it will stay in his mouth, hoping that he will nurse to sleep that way. The crib was totally creaking and I was praying that it would not come crashing down because of my weight on it, lol! Didn't work by the way, but it could possibly work if I keep trying it. That way he wouldn't be moved after finishing nursing. Although, that would mean he would again associate nursing with falling asleep. Ugh! This parenting of infants stuff is tough!

ccasanova's Avatar ccasanova 07:37 PM 06-16-2009
DS is asleep taking his nap as I type!!!: Got my fingers crossed that he'll stay for a good while and not slightly open his eyes, see i'm not there and have a fit, lol!

Ok, here's what I did. I moved the crib over to the other side of the room and layed a big puffy soft comforter on the floor doubled to make it as comfy as possible. I nursed him on the floor and when he fell asleep I made my exit. He did wake up and start crying after about 10 minutes but I quickly went in, nursed him back to sleep and he's been asleep about 25 minutes now. So in essence I put him to sleep on the floor so that the possibility of falling off the bed is gone, and he doesn't have to be moved once asleep. May sound funny, but whatever works. I'm even thinking about ditching the crib and buying one of those playpen gate things that I could put up around him once he is asleep to keep him contained if he wakes up and even use this set up at night. Will have to see what DH thinks first though. He might think it's mean to have our baby sleeping on the floor while we're in our nice comfy beds.
lovesea's Avatar lovesea 04:34 PM 06-17-2009
You could always put the crib mattress on the floor. I've resorted to that with both of my kids. Then put some cushion around it for you comfort and for padding should the child roll off.
ccasanova's Avatar ccasanova 07:52 PM 06-17-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesea View Post
You could always put the crib mattress on the floor. I've resorted to that with both of my kids. Then put some cushion around it for you comfort and for padding should the child roll off.
have either of them ever rolled off? I thought about doing that but the crib mattress looks pretty small for sleeping on with no rails, and I was scared that he would roll off the first night.
mysticmomma's Avatar mysticmomma 07:55 PM 06-17-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccasanova View Post
have either of them ever rolled off? I thought about doing that but the crib mattress looks pretty small for sleeping on with no rails, and I was scared that he would roll off the first night.
But it's like, 5 inches. :
pantrygirl's Avatar pantrygirl 10:11 PM 06-17-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccasanova View Post
Here is how desperate I got today. I put him to sleep as usual, layed him down as usual in his crib, he cried as usual, so I leaned over the crib rail and gave him my breast as he layed there. So here I am on my tip toes, trying to stretch my breast as much as possible so that it will stay in his mouth, hoping that he will nurse to sleep that way. The crib was totally creaking and I was praying that it would not come crashing down because of my weight on it, lol! Didn't work by the way, but it could possibly work if I keep trying it. That way he wouldn't be moved after finishing nursing. Although, that would mean he would again associate nursing with falling asleep. Ugh! This parenting of infants stuff is tough!
The imagery is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh. Now back to my baby who is exhausted but doesn't want to sleep.
lovesea's Avatar lovesea 02:32 AM 06-18-2009
I've been doing it with dd until recently but I stopped when she started rolling over. That's just coincidence. DS did roll off a few times but didn't get hurt and often just carried on sleeping. I'm not sure how old your baby is. The one safety aspect you should think about is if your child is mobile they could wake up and wander round if you're not in the room so you'd have to babyproof
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