Adding another baby to the family bed? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 12:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all,

My husband and I have both co-slept with our son since he was born. He sleeps with us at night time but naps alone during the day in his crib in his room. This has worked out wonderfully for our family, we all love the cuddling, everyone sleeps well and it makes night time nursing sooooo much easier

We are now pregnant with our second child and I was just wondering how difficult it would be to have 2 kiddies (newborn and toddler) in the family bed or if we need to be considering other sleeping arrangements for when the new baby comes. My son is 14months but he will be 22months when the new baby is here. Has anyone done this? How did/does it work for your family?Does the newborn wake up the toddler? How do you arrange who sleeps where?

I know still have many months to think about this but I want to start planning for this now as sleeping alone would be quite the transition for my little guy to make. If we should be thinking about that, I would like to start it now so he doesn't think he is kicked out because of the new baby but I am really hoping it could work out okay. I love having my loved ones closeby
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#2 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 12:59 AM
 
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We did it. DD1 was 27 months when DD2 was born. We did get a larger bed but only because 1. we were wanting to upgrade anyhow and 2. DH was sleep deprived when he bought it (long trips will do that to him ). It's worked great for us this whole time. DD1 is now in her own bed (though she will come to ours if she's scared or lonely) at 4. We're about to add another one come Dece. so at various points there will be 5 of us in there.

It worked well. DD1 slept next to DH and DD2 next to me. It has really fostered DD1's and DH's relationship actually. She sleeps better when she can "snuggle with dad". Before that they were close but it was more of a begruding on her end. :

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#3 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 08:25 AM
 
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Right now we have twins and a 3 year old in our bed. Our 3 year old wanders in around 1-2am. Works great. Sometimes I have to move bodies over to get in bed, though!

I would HIGHLY suggest saving up for a king size bed, if you already don't have one. We had a full for the longest time, and were thrilled to have a king after our 3rd was born. That makes a huge difference.

Your son may want to be in his own bed by then, anyways. You could also put a smaller mattress in your room or attached to your bed for your eldest.

Congrats on the new baby!

mother to girl (8), boy (7), girl (5) and twin boys (12/07) and a little boy due Feb 5!!
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#4 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 12:30 PM
 
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I am very interested in this answers to this question - the potential space requirements for a 2nd baby in bed are making me feel stressed about transitioning DD to her own room again full time.
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#5 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 12:47 PM
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I coslept with my twins, and again with my two sons, who are 15 months apart. We have a king bed, which helps, and a spare full-size bed for DH when he's tired of getting kicked... We bought DS a full-size mattress for his room when he was 7 months (I was 2 mos pg at the time...) so I started sleeping with him in his room while I was pg so it wouldn't feel so abrupt. We have full-size beds for everyone, since most of the time, everyone wants to be with someone. Even my twin girls, age 7, still like to sleep together. I would work your way into your oldest's room sooner rather than later, so it makes him feel special, and your 'imprint' will be in his bed too. Spend lots of time in there before the new baby, and after. Will you be tandem nursing? This has helped us a lot having space where we can all fit.

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#6 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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DD1 was older when DD2 was born, almost 4, she wasn't in the same bed as DD2 and I because DD2 was on O2. She slept on another mattress in the room, it worked fine until DD2 was 7 months and then she moved out of the room. DD2 was 2.5y old when DS was born, it did NOT work to have those two in the same room together. DD2 is a very light sleeper, every single noise DS made, even him nursing at night woke her up. We tried having DS, me, DD2, and DH in the same bed and then having DH and DD2 in another bed in the same room, and ended up moving DD2 to another room with DH.

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#7 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 01:02 PM
 
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Kate was 20 months when Calvin was born and we all slept together until Kate started sleeping in her own bed at 2 and a half or so. We have a King sized bed as well.

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#8 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for the responses! It has given me a lot to think about and some ideas to try too. We have a queen sized bed right now but I think we will need to make the move to a king sized bed before the new one comes, haha!

Spu; I am still nursing my 14month old and plan to let him self wean when hes ready so I might be tandem nursing. He nurses two-three times a day right now so even if he is still nursing when the new baby comes, I don't think that will interfere with the new baby nursing on demand but I guess he might want to nurse more when he sees the new baby nursing?? Guess we will see what happens there lol.
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#9 of 14 Old 06-18-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryMommy View Post
Hi all,

My husband and I have both co-slept with our son since he was born. He sleeps with us at night time but naps alone during the day in his crib in his room. This has worked out wonderfully for our family, we all love the cuddling, everyone sleeps well and it makes night time nursing sooooo much easier

We are now pregnant with our second child and I was just wondering how difficult it would be to have 2 kiddies (newborn and toddler) in the family bed or if we need to be considering other sleeping arrangements for when the new baby comes. My son is 14months but he will be 22months when the new baby is here. Has anyone done this? How did/does it work for your family?Does the newborn wake up the toddler? How do you arrange who sleeps where?

I know still have many months to think about this but I want to start planning for this now as sleeping alone would be quite the transition for my little guy to make. If we should be thinking about that, I would like to start it now so he doesn't think he is kicked out because of the new baby but I am really hoping it could work out okay. I love having my loved ones closeby

The only change we will make is to buy a bigger bed if another babe comes along.

right now we're on a full size b/c i love my mattress too much to get another!

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#10 of 14 Old 06-19-2009, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by CountryMommy View Post
Spu; I am still nursing my 14month old and plan to let him self wean when hes ready so I might be tandem nursing. He nurses two-three times a day right now so even if he is still nursing when the new baby comes, I don't think that will interfere with the new baby nursing on demand but I guess he might want to nurse more when he sees the new baby nursing?? Guess we will see what happens there lol.
that's wonderful that you're nursing and may possibly tandem nurse too. When the new one comes along, the milk supply will definitely be aplenty! and both nurslings will be very very happy... The frequency may change initially, but at that age, distraction comes into play, so he'll probably get more milk at a time, and the frequency may calm down. You can try nursing on the floor or in bed when you want to tandem nurse, and in a chair when it's just the baby's turn.

During my pregnancy, I felt like my son was getting gipped (sp?) out of a long nursing relationship, and I could tell my the third trimester my milk supply was down. Since DS was only about 5 or 6 mos old when I became pg, I felt he was way too young to not keep having mama's milk... so I was soooo glad that he hung in there. And when my supply came back up again after the baby was born, it was great - no plugs! no problems with engorgement... and both DS's were happy and content. Good luck and hang in there! If your little one does wean before the baby arrives, enjoy snuggling as a threesome!

twins 7.02 ⢠DS 10.06 ⢠OMG #4 1.08 ⢠ebf + tandem nursing!
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#11 of 14 Old 06-19-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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Similar situation here, except our older LO who co-sleeps with us will be 14 months when our new LO is born. We still aren't sure how things will work out, but we have a few ideas...

- Figure out how to attach another bed to our bed safely so we don't have to get a king
- Just get a king and have our LO's on either side of me
- Pull up the crib as a "sidecar" and have our LO's on either side of me
- Or, try to get our older LO used to sleeping on Daddy's side instead of just with me
- And be open to the idea that our new LO might actually like to sleep on his/her own and do better sleeping on his/her own or that J might be sleeping on his own by then... who knows but I suppose it is possible, lol.

We also got one of those children sofa beds for J that we leave in our room (but is easy to move into another room if need be.) It's close enough to the floor that we don't have to worry about him rolling off plus I can lie down with him and nurse him before he falls asleep, etc. He's starting to do better in it for naps.

I'm also hoping to tandem nurse
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#12 of 14 Old 06-19-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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i was worried about this too, but it has been a very natural transition for our family. our 2yo still sleeps in the middle, and i have our 7 week old between me and the edge of the bed.
dd1 can sleep through (even go to sleep when) dd2 is crying... which was a lot until i cut dairy out!
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#13 of 14 Old 06-20-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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My son was almost 3 when my daughter was born and we did it (and still do!)

King size bed is definitely the way to go!

I was worried about my son pouncing and rolling over on her.. he is a WILD sleeper.. so we used a bed rail thing and my daughter slept on the outer edge, then me, then my son, then daddy.. that worked and had us all sleep really well and my son not wake or mess with his baby sister too much...
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#14 of 14 Old 06-20-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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We are in a king size with my 2yo dd on one side, then my husband, then myself and our 6mo dd. I switch her back and her from the outside, to between my husband and I depending on which boob she needs, but she mostly stays on the outside.

As long as there is someone between the toddler and the newborn, everything should be fine.

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