i think you've gotten all the advice i could give you about co-sleeping.
i wanted to give you some hope for the future
when dd1 was born, i couldn't let DH find his own way until she was about 10 months old. dd1 was/is very high need, and very sensitive to other people's stress. it wasn't until *i* calmed down about leaving them together that they were able to find their own way
i think it's super important to spend as much time as possible together as a family, so that you can let him take the lead and everyone can get comfortable. the trick is that you can't micro-manage (or make faces, or use body language that indicates he's doing something wrong) unless it's a BIG DEAL (like, not letting baby's head flop around in a dangerous way, for instance.)
this was altogether *impossible* for me as a new mama! hehee
now, though, DH is AMAZING with our 2 year old! he has been since she was around one. she waits for him to get home from work, and they have "crazy play" from the second he walks in the door till our bedtime routine starts (and he gives her a bath, reads her books and we snuggle her to sleep in our bed).
if i would have judged Dh's parenting abilities on how he was with dd1 as a small baby, and never let him have a chance to find his way, dd1 would be missing out on SO MUCH!
i know how hard it is. just remember that even super-daddies can be off their game in the first few months
he still forgets about diapers sometimes. when he's alone he usually sets an egg timer so that dd2 gets changed every hour
(this time, with dd2 (2 months) DH is much more confident, and i trust him totally. he still doesn't get much time with her, though, because dd1 needs his undivided attention right now more than ever!)