Embarking on a night-weaning journey! Some advice, please?? ;) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 83 Old 09-25-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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Thanks Rosemary! That is really encouraging! Maybe I will just have to wait for him to grow out of his wakefuless. My first son was also a persistant night waker (it almost killed me) which is why it took me 8yrs to have another Like I said he is basically night weaned and doesn't cry anymore if I don't nurse him, but he won't go back to sleep or if he does he wakes right back up. It doesn't seem to make a difference whether we are nursing at night or not he still wakes up all night long. I'm with you on the higher power and have asked for some insight. During the day my LO is happy as a lark and dang cute, That's what keeps me from putting him out on the porch in the middle of the night (just kidding)

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#62 of 83 Old 09-25-2009, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been trying for well over a month to night wean. My lo can go from 10-4 w/o nursing but he still wakes up every 1-2 hours, and it takes even longer to get him back to sleep. So I wonder whats the point? Those who have successfully night weaned do your LO's sleep through the night now?
Hello Clover!
It seems as though there are a few of us in this world who do not benefit from night weaning. From what I have read here and heard from other moms IRL, it seems like if it is going to work and help the baby to STTN, then it certainly doesn't take over a month.
We have similar situations except my LO just stays awake. It is as if she is so dependent on the boob to sleep, she thinks it is absolutely necessary, so she doesn't even try unless I nurse her. Unfortunately, in our case, I think it might be necessary to wait until she is fully capable of understanding my reasoning with her.
If I were you, I would continue to try for another couple of weeks. If it doesn't work, hopefully he will still take the boob. Then you can try again in a couple of months.
Hope you have some success soon!

ETA: I just read in your siggy that your LO is only 11 months. Perhaps he just isn't ready. I know this would have NEVER been successful with my DD at that age.

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#63 of 83 Old 09-25-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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Thanks Echo echo. I think you're right. I didn't nightwean my first son until after his 2nd b-day and he started sleeping through the night almost right away--but I was ssssooooooo exhausted by then, it was just down right unhealthy. So I thought maybe I would try earlier with this one. Oh well I'll just keep pluggin through and know that it won't last forever. I promised myself if I had another night waker I would keep that as my motto, but I must admit another year of no sleep seems daunting. I feel like I missed out on some of the joy of my first son's babyhood because I was so tired and edgy and was hoping to not go there this time. So thankful for MDC and other mamas for sharing. I am wishing all the mamas here (and myself) sleepy babies and good rest!

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#64 of 83 Old 09-25-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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I started Dr Gordon's plan when DD was 15 months but gave up after 6 days because she cried for 3 hours a night. In my ear. When I asked me very AP ped for suggestions during a check up, he said he felt the Gordon plan was confusing and to not to nurse after sundown/before sunrise, as I could do this consistently and DD could understand it.
DD has an easy going temperament with others, but is very mama-centric and could nurse all night
. Night weaning was exhausting, but I am so much happier and well rested now I have so much more to give DD, and DH, and myself. And it didn't impact daytime nursing or seem to stress her during the day time.

sounds like my ds is similar to your dd. and the screaming in my ear for 3 hrs thing is what i am afraid will happen with DS.
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#65 of 83 Old 09-27-2009, 10:19 PM
 
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Ladies, if you're still browsing this thread - I need help! My dd is 11 mo old and nursing her at night is making me miserable. I've used Dr. Jay Gordon's method before and I really like it but I have two problems this time around: 1) DD shares a room with 2yo DS, who is a light sleeper. and 2) DD screams bloody murder if I don't nurse her until she is satisfied. Like crazy ridiculous, wake up the whole house tantrum. If she settles down enough for me to put her in bed, she starts the fit all over again the second I lay her down.

I'm really resenting nursing her at night and I don't feel like I'm a very good mama during the day...Im functioning on very little sleep since it takes me ages to fall asleep after nursing her. I usually fall asleep just before she wakes up to nurse again. I need to do something, soon. I'd love some help! TIA!

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#66 of 83 Old 09-28-2009, 02:13 PM
 
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Ladies, if you're still browsing this thread - I need help! My dd is 11 mo old and nursing her at night is making me miserable. I've used Dr. Jay Gordon's method before and I really like it but I have two problems this time around: 1) DD shares a room with 2yo DS, who is a light sleeper. and 2) DD screams bloody murder if I don't nurse her until she is satisfied. Like crazy ridiculous, wake up the whole house tantrum. If she settles down enough for me to put her in bed, she starts the fit all over again the second I lay her down.

I'm really resenting nursing her at night and I don't feel like I'm a very good mama during the day...Im functioning on very little sleep since it takes me ages to fall asleep after nursing her. I usually fall asleep just before she wakes up to nurse again. I need to do something, soon. I'd love some help! TIA!
Do you have another room your DS could temporarily use? Maybe come into your room?

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#67 of 83 Old 09-28-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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I've used Dr. Jay Gordon's method before and I really like it but I have two problems this time around: 1) DD shares a room with 2yo DS, who is a light sleeper. and 2) DD screams bloody murder if I don't nurse her until she is satisfied.
Hi! I think lots of people are probably still following this thread... sure is one hot topic! Have you thought about moving DS to his own room? Or you moving out with DD for the time being?

I don't have much other advice because my DS is only 11 months and I've also recently started nightweaning him. It all also started out because I was resenting it and was dying for longer stretches of sleep.

Hope it all goes well for you... and everyone else!

Love Jesus, love husband and love DS1 (10/08) & DS2 (12/10) kid.gif
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#68 of 83 Old 09-28-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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Hi everyone, I've been following this thread with great interest. My DS is 20 months old and on good nights sleeps until 3 am on his own mattress in our room. Then I nurse him in a chair, and bring him to bed with us. Then I nurse him in bed around 5 or 6 when he wakes up to try to get a little extra sleep.

On a bad night...I'll just give last night as an example. Up probably 5 times to nurse him in a chair (I don't nurse lying down in bed anymore until after 5 am and for the most part this has helped cut down on his nursing). He wants to nurse until he's done...if I try to wrap it up quickly he gets very angry and won't go back to sleep.

We've tried to nightwean 2 or 3 times before where I sleep in a different room and DH does the hard work. But it seems DS always gets sick in the middle of this after we've made some progress, and I just can't stand to hear a sick little boy cry so I cave and we start back over.

Anyway, he's got some sniffles right now but as soon as he's well we want to give it another go. I'm hoping it will go better this time since he *normally* (if there is such a thing) only wakes up 2 or 3 times a night, down from the 8-10 times per night the last time we tried a couple of months ago.

Hugs to all of you tired mammas. I'm right there with you.

Kelly, wife to my wonderful DH , and mom to DS1 born 1/20/2008 and DS2 born 7/14/2010 by VBAC.
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#69 of 83 Old 09-29-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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Hi all,
my 16 mo. old seems to be waking up 5 times a night in the last few weeks, up from once or twice. He is teething on first year molars and his poor mouth looks swollen and painful, so I wonder if this will pass when the teeth come through? I don't understand why he slept through the night at 3-4 mos, and then stopped (1-2 nightwakings), and recently got worse. I wonder after reading all the posts if bedsharing and nightnursing really does make them sleep worse? Do you ever wonder what this situation looks like in families who wean by 1 yr or earlier? Just curious since such a small percentage of women are still breastfeeding past 1 yr (or even 6 mos!).
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#70 of 83 Old 09-29-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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Thanks RosemaryS-F and Rubber Ducky for responding to my post! Nope, no other room for my ds to sleep in. (Ugh, I wish!!!) But I have been bringing dd into the living room for our quick nurse/quiet time the past two nights. That way she's not waking anyone aside from me! She's done really well with the Gordon method so far...of course the real test will be tomorrow when I don't nurse her at all.

I really like this thread! I decided I agreed with the 'no nursing when it's dark' and dds handling it well. I just have to remember this is kind of like potty training....it's really rough at first but worth it in the long run!

Loving mama to ds C (6/07) and dd N (11/08). Joyously welcomed our rainbow1284.gif, dd2 A (8/11).

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#71 of 83 Old 09-30-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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I decided I agreed with the 'no nursing when it's dark' and dds handling it well. I just have to remember this is kind of like potty training....it's really rough at first but worth it in the long run!
All the best to you then! Just wondering... are you going to not nurse at all for the whole night? The first night I tried to not nurse, I set a 5 hour goal. DH walked DS on and off for 2 hours. He would fall asleep and then wake up and cry again once he was put down. I quickly gave up and nursed him after that which was 4 hours. Then he slept for 6.5 hours!!! Either that or I was so exhausted I didn't have a clue

Night 2 he had a stuffy nose so everything went haywire BUT of the 8 or so times he woke up, 3 out of them he fell asleep with patting instead of the breast.

Night 3 he gave me 3 hours then woke up every hour, again I think because of his sniffles. I didn't really bother to do anything at this point.

Last night was a miracle! He slept 5 hours, 3 hours, 3 hours, 1 hour. Not bad for such a frequent waker eh? Again I didn't do anything and just nursed him. I think at this stage I am more than happy with what I'm getting so I don't want to push him to far. I hope tonight will be just as good or better. I really want this to work!

Best of luck to you again!

Love Jesus, love husband and love DS1 (10/08) & DS2 (12/10) kid.gif
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#72 of 83 Old 09-30-2009, 06:03 PM
 
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Rubber Ducky - Sounds to me like you had a good night, especially if your little guy's not feeling well! I totally hear you on not wanting to mess with a good thing. That's why I haven't seriously tried to nightwean before, I just didn't want to rock the boat!

I am only nursing her at bedtime (7pm) and then again between 530 and 6. It seems to work well for her. In fact, she only woke once last night at 1130 when I was heading for bed so I just nursed a bit and cuddled and then! THEN! She slept for 6 hours!!!!! I don't even know the last time I slept that long. It was amazing. Tonights the tough part with no nursing at all, just cuddling but I'm going to try to stay strong. My sanity is worth it!

Loving mama to ds C (6/07) and dd N (11/08). Joyously welcomed our rainbow1284.gif, dd2 A (8/11).

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#73 of 83 Old 09-30-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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Ugh, just when I thought DS was all about our new no nursing at night thing, he wakes up at 3 to nurse, and it was a two hour put back to sleep. Not tons of crying, just not tons of sleeping either. UGH!!!!

Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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#74 of 83 Old 09-30-2009, 11:35 PM
 
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Two steps forwards, one step back. At least he didn't wake up at 12, 1, 2 and 3!

: Mountain biking mama to one beautiful baby girl, born happily at home 8/26/2008.
Her signature would be: Sleep is for the Weak
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#75 of 83 Old 10-01-2009, 12:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all
We're on a downward spiral. DD has been sleeping for 2-3 hours at the beginning of the night and then waking every hour, on the hour for the rest of the night. I'm pretty sure she is teething pretty hard-core right now. So, I guess as soon as these suckers pop through, I will pull out the big guns (DH) and have him help me with NW. I'm thinking that by handing her off to him, she will get mad and cry (I HATE the fact that I WANT her to cry), hopefully making her tired enough to not stay up for 4-5 hours this time. I will make sure to verbally explain everything as best as I can... I'm pretty sure she understands most of what I tell her.
It is nice to hear that some of you are having some luck
Please, keep my tired old soul in your prayers!

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#76 of 83 Old 10-01-2009, 12:40 AM
 
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echoecho, I do hope it all works better when she is through this teething bout. But I have to say I worry that if she cries a ton (or stays up for 5 hours, either way) a horrible cycle will follow: too much cortisone in her system, leading to not being able to sleep well, leading to even worse sleep.

We are certainly NOT over our own waking-issues over here, but we are on a path that I am hopeful about. You may have seen the ad for My Naturally Well Baby in Mothering magazine, and I am lucky enough to live in the same town as the doctor. We went for an in-person consult, but she does phone consults too. One of the several things we are doing is giving DD a teeny amount of melatonin to help her get her circadian rhythm sorted out. We've been doing it for about a week now, and her first falling-asleep for the night has improved considerably (asleep with no problem 30 mins after taking the melatonin and about 5 or 10 minutes after beginning our nursing to sleep routine). Until last night I hadn't seen real improvements in her wakings, but last night she had a 5 hour stretch! Totally unheard of for this girl. I have no idea what tonight will bring, so this recommendation may be a bit premature, but before you attempt NW again I would suggest looking her up on the web (I don't think I can link here anymore, can I?) and giving the melatonin a try. The Dr. used melatonin with her own daughter, and she is a naturopath, so I feel very comfortable that this is a safe route to take.

: Mountain biking mama to one beautiful baby girl, born happily at home 8/26/2008.
Her signature would be: Sleep is for the Weak
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#77 of 83 Old 10-01-2009, 12:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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echoecho, I do hope it all works better when she is through this teething bout. But I have to say I worry that if she cries a ton (or stays up for 5 hours, either way) a horrible cycle will follow: too much cortisone in her system, leading to not being able to sleep well, leading to even worse sleep.

We are certainly NOT over our own waking-issues over here, but we are on a path that I am hopeful about. You may have seen the ad for My Naturally Well Baby in Mothering magazine, and I am lucky enough to live in the same town as the doctor. We went for an in-person consult, but she does phone consults too. One of the several things we are doing is giving DD a teeny amount of melatonin to help her get her circadian rhythm sorted out. We've been doing it for about a week now, and her first falling-asleep for the night has improved considerably (asleep with no problem 30 mins after taking the melatonin and about 5 or 10 minutes after beginning our nursing to sleep routine). Until last night I hadn't seen real improvements in her wakings, but last night she had a 5 hour stretch! Totally unheard of for this girl. I have no idea what tonight will bring, so this recommendation may be a bit premature, but before you attempt NW again I would suggest looking her up on the web (I don't think I can link here anymore, can I?) and giving the melatonin a try. The Dr. used melatonin with her own daughter, and she is a naturopath, so I feel very comfortable that this is a safe route to take.
Thanks mckennasmomma. I actually started giving DD melatonin before bedtime about a week ago as well. I saw it suggested somewhere on this forum. It definitely helps to get her to sleep easier and more quickly initially, but doesn't seem to do anything for the night wakings. On the third night of her being up for extended periods, I gave it to her in the middle of the night too and she fell asleep rather quickly. Unfortunately, she woke up again about an hour later. My daughter is made of steel...

Wife & Momma to Echo 2/20/08 and HP 6/11/13
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#78 of 83 Old 10-01-2009, 11:03 AM
 
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Hmm, that is very interesting that we are having similar experiences with the melatonin. Last night unfortunately was not like 2 nights ago for us. No long stretches of sleep but fortunately no long stretches of being awake either.

: Mountain biking mama to one beautiful baby girl, born happily at home 8/26/2008.
Her signature would be: Sleep is for the Weak
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#79 of 83 Old 10-01-2009, 11:29 AM
 
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I just took DS to his first dental appointment yesterday, and we got a good look inside of this mouth. Poor guy - one of his molars just popped through, and THREE more are swollen and ready to come through anytime now. That explains some of his cranky-pantedness. LOL.
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#80 of 83 Old 10-02-2009, 10:09 AM
 
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DS had just one nightwaking last night...but I fell asleep in his bed and was too exhausted when I realized what I'd done to get out. Backache this morning...

Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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#81 of 83 Old 10-02-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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I had a couple nightweaning attempts until the third try was successful at age 2. Maybe he was more ready, but really, I think the difference was that I was finally resolved about it and dropped my guilt about it. I think my resolve helped him understand that this is just the way it was now, and dropping my anxiety about it was reassuring for him, and really it was not that much of a struggle. I had some advice on these forums about that, and then I read a passage in "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" that really hit home. It was something to the effect of: "Your child is not in a position to reassure you that this decision is okay. YOU have to do that for the CHILD." I really internalized this, and honestly, I think that made the difference, when he did not feel my ambivalence anymore.
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#82 of 83 Old 10-03-2009, 02:26 PM
 
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I had a couple nightweaning attempts until the third try was successful at age 2. Maybe he was more ready, but really, I think the difference was that I was finally resolved about it and dropped my guilt about it. I think my resolve helped him understand that this is just the way it was now, and dropping my anxiety about it was reassuring for him, and really it was not that much of a struggle. I had some advice on these forums about that, and then I read a passage in "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" that really hit home. It was something to the effect of: "Your child is not in a position to reassure you that this decision is okay. YOU have to do that for the CHILD." I really internalized this, and honestly, I think that made the difference, when he did not feel my ambivalence anymore.

Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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#83 of 83 Old 10-06-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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My 27 month old DD#2 is nursing/twiddling fiend, I just found Jay Gordon's website yesterday and have read Sears Nighttime Parenting & Pantley's no cry book about 25 times apiece. I finally bit the bullet last night and decided to go for it. I had a rough one, too. Up from 2ish to 4ish. And then I coudn't fall asleep until about 6.

However, I do feel that we had success because LO fell asleep on her crib mattress (on floor next to bed) for 3+ hours. It's so hard being a mom sometimes, but it's so great to have found this thread - I feel like the only toddler-nurser on the planet, sometimes.

Weaning DD#1 was a cake walk, in retrospect. I need more sleep, and I am starting to resent the multiple night wakings - so I am determined to make a plan and work the plan.

One thing about Gordon was that it seemed like a really fast/aggressive plan. I am modifying it to a more Pantley-esque version, I'm telling her num nums are night night (stopping nursing between 11p - 5am is my 1st goal). I plan to evaluate how it's going after 10 days, so I can see real progress.

All you ladies out there struggling with nightweaning - God Bless you all, and keep you and your families safe. "This too, shall pass".
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