How much crying is too much? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 09-19-2009, 10:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've gone this long trying to be child-centered and attuned to my kid's needs. We have been extremely attentive and responded to every cry.

And now, DS is crying more than he ever has in his whole life. This week he has cried for an hour+ before bed. Then cried for 30-90 minutes during the night with DH. Then cried in the morning when he doesn't get to nurse for hours (I'm pregnant, I just can't bear [the pain of] nursing any longer than 45 minutes).

I feel like a horrible provider for this LO. I can't imagine what he's thinking. And what this "new" crying is doing to his body and his ability to go to sleep peacefully.

We try everything short of nursing him. I mean, I nurse him for 30-45 minutes before bed, then put him to bed, and he freaks out.

I know this may have something to do with my milk supply dropping, but I don't know what to do about it. He'll drink from a sippy cup a little bit, but it's not like the deluge of milk he used to get from breastfeeding.

This guilt of him crying for 2+ hours throughout every night is eating away at me. I know I can't survive nursing him whenever he wants, but I'm having trouble dealing with (and rationalizing) his inconsolable crying fits.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Loving DH :, chasing DS (3/08) and getting to know sweet DD (born 3/10 at home).
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#2 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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I don't think I can offer much help because my LO is only 8 months, but I read your post and just want to offer support.

So you think it's nursing related? If so, do you think you could try night weaning?

Please know you are not a bad mommy!

Hope someone else can help.

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#3 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 07:00 PM
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It seems like the 30 minutes of nursing should be PLENTY to comfort and calm him, and if your supply is dropping from pregnancy is there any chance he's hungry at night? Does he eat a lot of solids during the day?
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#4 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 07:10 PM
 
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s

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#5 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eligracey View Post
It seems like the 30 minutes of nursing should be PLENTY to comfort and calm him, and if your supply is dropping from pregnancy is there any chance he's hungry at night? Does he eat a lot of solids during the day?
He was slow to catch up with food and other liquids. Now he's eating a lot more. When he was crying and I heard his stomach growling I broke our nightweaning to nurse him a little. That was several weeks ago.

Now he still wakes up and is frighteningly upset. In the past every time I went back to nursing at night, he'd start waking up more and more and more. I'm afraid to go back to that.

Right now I've been nursing him at 3:30-4:30am. If he wakes before that, DH comforts DS.

Thanks for your thoughts. I really appreciate it.

Loving DH :, chasing DS (3/08) and getting to know sweet DD (born 3/10 at home).
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#6 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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Will he drink milk? Cow, goat, hemp. All three would give him some fat and protien and hopefully fill him up enough to make it through the night. My first was about that age when I got pregnant with my second and while my supply didn't really drop, I couldn't stand nursing more than 10 minutes. So I started giving her a sippy of (cow) milk at bedtime and if she woke up hungry in the night, I (or hubby) would refill it. It seemed to help a lot.

Mama of three.
 
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#7 of 9 Old 09-20-2009, 09:50 PM
 
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How heartbreaking! Could he be going through some separation anxiety?
I know how hard it is to hear them cry, but sometimes we just do the best we can. If you or DH is consoling him and holding him during these times and you don't think anything is physically wrong, what else is there, you know? It is ok for kids to have big emotions and we need to just love them and help them through it I think. You are not a bad mother!
I think the suggestion to offer a snack or cup of milk before bed might help.
Good luck!

~Kaiya~

 

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#8 of 9 Old 09-21-2009, 03:35 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. Sounds awful.

Is he teething? My daughter was VERY fussy and crying when she got her first two molars in. She is 16 mos now, but those molars hurt bad when they come in.
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#9 of 9 Old 09-21-2009, 03:42 AM
 
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If he still wants to suck (and is otherwise upping his food/drink during the day), you could consider giving him a small bottle of water with a slow flow nipple on it. You could hold/snuggle/rock him while he had it (so he could get the mama time he wants). How old is your LO? Could he understand that the milkies are empty (after 30-45 mins of nursing) until later? Hang in there!
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