DH sleeps with one kid and I sleep with the other! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 10-16-2009, 05:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH sleeps currently sleeps with our 4 year old DD (she "used" to sleep in her own bed until he started traveling for work and then she had the stomach flu....he allowed it for a few nights...now it's turning into more...she refuses to sleep in her own bed in her own room) They sleep on a queen blowup mattress.... She goes to sleep easily in "dad's" bed. He comes in later....

I sleep with just turned 2 year old DS in the king bed (nurses down to sleep (still....) and then I put him in the bed, or I just go to bed with him). I really haven't pushed the toddler bed that has been in my room for months now...too afraid to try I guess. Wondering if this is ok??

I guess I was wondering how many other families out there like this? I don't dare talk to my "family" about it...and I don't really have like-minded mamas around. Is there anything wrong with not "fighting" with the kids about sleep as long as we are all getting some sleep?

Or should we try to get the kids in their own beds somehow.....

Or will they just outgrow the need to sleep with us?

I think DH misses us in the same bed as adults with more "adult" time. Sometimes I feel this way too...but I'm so tired half the time, I don't feel like dealing with nighttime battles.

Thanks for letting me vent!
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#2 of 9 Old 10-16-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Abylite View Post
I think DH misses us in the same bed as adults with more "adult" time. Sometimes I feel this way too...but I'm so tired half the time, I don't feel like dealing with nighttime battles.

Thanks for letting me vent!
This is the only part that I would be concerned about. Sleeping with kids will eventually come to an end; your kids are still quite young and may need that attachment. But the fact that your husband is not happy with the situation means that some adjustments should be made.

Do you have a big enough bedroom that you could move the older child's bed into the same room with you? Then the kids could sleep together and keep each other company, but still feel comforted by knowing that you are in the same room.

Fighting with toddlers is not the solution; some creative bedroom arranging might be
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#3 of 9 Old 10-17-2009, 12:32 AM
 
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DH and I haven't slept in the same bed in over 3 years Right now, 8yo DS sleeps in his own room, 5yo DD sleeps in her own room in a twin over full bunk with DH on the bottom, and I sleep in the master bedrooom with 2yo DD. Our arrangements are based on maximizing sleep and minimizing unhappy children. We know from watching DS and DD1 that they'll transition in their own time to their own (private) space. In the meantime, both kids tell me that bedtime is their favorite time of day, and they all sleep through the night.
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#4 of 9 Old 10-17-2009, 01:02 AM
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This is our current arrangement. I started a post a while back because I felt embarrased that I slept with the two kids and DH slept all by himself, but it was the best way for anyone to sleep. Now it is best for the two kids (who each need night time parenting still) to be in separate rooms because they keep each other up, and they are both having sleep problems.

We just do whatever gets everyone the most amount of sleep possible. We're talking about getting a king so that we can try me and the two kids in one bed again. Maybe with more room it might work. DS absolutely will not touch his bed (which he used to sleep in), so DH can sleep there .
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#5 of 9 Old 10-17-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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We've done this for 2.5 years now. DH complained bitterly the first year about it but honestly I couldn't deal with 2 adults and 2 children in the same room. Various kids were have sleeping problems, I have insomnia, I just needed sleep and this was the only way. After a year, I moved DH and DD1 back up to the master bedroom. It was a massive failure other then DH finally realizing that this was the only way we were going to get some sleep. After about 2 nights, he started complaining about sleeping with me and wanted to move back downstairs again.

I have 6y DD1 in the bunk beds in the master bedroom, baby DS sleeps with me. DH and almost 3y DD2 are downstairs in her room. This works very well for our family and I've learned to brush off the negative comments I get from others about it.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#6 of 9 Old 10-17-2009, 11:23 PM
 
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What if the kids slept together that would free up the bed for the two of you?
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#7 of 9 Old 10-18-2009, 12:00 AM
 
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We've been playing musical beds (& couches, lol) since ds was born. It won't be forever. Whatever helps everyone get the most sleep..!

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#8 of 9 Old 10-18-2009, 12:50 AM
 
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We have a king size bed and DH and 2yr old DD sleep at top and 9mo old DS and I sleep at the bottom of the bed. Too much body heat and not enough room and DS bfing sent us to the end. We have our bed next to the wall and the kiddos sleep next to it and we sleep near the edge.

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#9 of 9 Old 10-18-2009, 01:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by farmkids42morrow View Post
Do you have a big enough bedroom that you could move the older child's bed into the same room with you? Then the kids could sleep together and keep each other company, but still feel comforted by knowing that you are in the same room.
This is what we do--we have an extremely small bedroom, but we can still manage to fit a queen and a full in there side-by-side. It's basically a giant room of beds for everyone, with nothing else in the room.
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