facebook "friend" comment made me sad...and angry - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-17-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
I often wonder what those women think breasts were made for? Dangly sex toys?


bahaha! Oh I so needed this! You don't even understand!

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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Old 11-17-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommaKitten21 View Post
bahaha! Oh I so needed this! You don't even understand!
Made me laugh too!

What I don't understand is what women think when they give birth and then their breasts make milk. OMG how are those sex objects producing baby food? How un-sexy!

About the original topic...since she's not a real friend (someone you are close to/see often) I would be tempted to post something like, "This makes me so sad to read! My baby is soft and squishy and built for snuggling, and I'm soaking up every second of it!"

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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I also wanted to say that I don't get why parents feel their job ends as soon as bedtime arrives. Parenting is not a job you "clock out" from so if you LO needs you at night as well as during the day, then its your responsibility as a parent to get off you a** and help you child. They have the rest of their lives to be independent. They don't need ot be at a few months old.

IMO, people have started to treat parenting like weight loss. They want a quick, easy solution, no once wants to put forth any effort anymore.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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omg that poor baby that made me want to puke, how could you just leave a baby screaming, especially to leave them to get in so much of a state that they throw up

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

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Old 11-17-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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That made me sad too. I couldn't ever let my son do that. Sure he gets fussy and sometimes he fusses a bit before I get there or doesn't realize that what he wants is right in front of him (usually food), but it's nothing I ignore and sometimes if nothing works I just hold him and walk around. But I could NEVER leave him alone.

I liked some of the suggestions about comments on on her status, but if that didn't work I'd probably have to delete her as a friend because it would upset me too much.

Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:28 PM
 
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I'd just defriend her. If she gets huffy about it, tell her why.

Mama to a wild thing (10/08) and a new thing (8/5/10) and wife to the love of my
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:34 PM
 
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I like to start FB fights, so i would say something although, i know that it would do no reals good.
First i would post a bunch of links that show how much she is harming her baby. And then second, i would tend to post something like "people let their cats in their bedroom, the dog on their bed, there husband does not sleep alone, but the MOST vulnerable member of their famiy is down the hall crying alone...wow how awesome, umm not"

Not contructive i suppose, but then again get my point across, and most FB "friends" are not real friends anyway, and as PP said, there is nothing that you can really do.
That poor poor baby.

SAHM to 4 cats, DS 5/09, DD 3/12 and 3# due 4/15. Home birthing, non vax, anti circ, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, real food eating pretty darn crunchy mama.
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by larzanna View Post
"people let their cats in their bedroom, the dog on their bed, there husband does not sleep alone, but the MOST vulnerable member of their famiy is down the hall crying alone...wow how awesome, umm not"
Man, I wish I had the guts to post that!
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:40 AM
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I had a really good friend post once about how she hated doing CIO. She got all sorts of responses about how she had to do it, it was the only way, her baby would learn, etc. Probably 15 comments in support of CIO.

I posted "I'll be the odd mom out. Cry it out is not the only way. If cry it out makes you uncomfortable, it's because God gave you those instincts for a reason. It's okay to bring your baby to bed with you."

She sent me a nice message about how she felt that the baby should be in a crib, but that they were trying to find a happy medium and were abandoning CIO. I'm glad that I had to guts to say something (although I hope there was someone else in her life who did the same).
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:31 PM
 
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how very sad. i have a friend who is expecting a baby in may - she is the oldest of an eight-kid AP family, and her husband is an only child whose mother would lock him in his room and let him CIO until he vomited - until he was three years old and finally got the point. he has horrible memories even today, and they are going to co-sleep and AP their baby.

Breastfeeding, delayed/selective vax, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, homebirthing mama to son River 8/10/09 and daughter Austen 10/13/11
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Old 11-18-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bokonon View Post
That is heartbreaking, but I agree there isn't anything you can do. The mom obviously doesn't feel like she's doing anything wrong, otherwise she wouldn't be posting about it on FB. I would either defriend her or block her status updates so they wouldn't show up in my feed.

Happily married mom to DS (Aug 09) and two furry troublemakers.

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Old 11-19-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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You know what I would do? I'd "hide" her as a friend so I don't have to read her updates, but she doesn't know that. Then I'd post some links to great Mothering articles and maybe some of James McKenna's sleep studies and "share" them. That way you're not calling her out and getting into it with her, but you're letting her know (via your own status and links) the other side. You'd also be letting all your other friends know, too, so someone else might "share" your link. I guess it's fairly passive agressive, but I wouldn't be getting into it with a woman I hardly know. It might make you feel better and maybe some of your other FB friends will post some positive comments.
I'm pretty non- conf and passive agres. That's what I would do... That way your letting her and others know that your parenting is based on facts and research and instinctual love for your baby not cruely denying your baby mommys love! I really don't understand the 'baby is manipulating you' argument. How advanced do they really think their babies are?!?!

Mother to C 6/5/09 and wife to wonderful hubby!
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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This sounds so familiar! I got into a heated discussion with my sister-in-law's sister about CIO on Facebook. This girl doesn't have any children of her own but has been a nanny for several families over the years and is a strong advocate of CIO. I said something along the lines of...."you wouldn't leave your aging mother or father in a nursing home where the policy was to leave them alone all night and ignore the on-call button no matter how many times they pushed it so how could you leave a vulnerable baby alone to cry all night long?" It went over like a lead balloon but I hope I at least planted a seed in everybody's minds that perhaps CIO isn't the way to go. I think CIO is child abuse plain and simple.
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Old 11-19-2009, 02:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lessmith23 View Post

IMO, people have started to treat parenting like weight loss. They want a quick, easy solution, no once wants to put forth any effort anymore.
See, I kind of feel the opposite. Parents try to struggle so much against their child, disregarding baby's natural inclinations. I feel like I'm going with the flow, embracing my baby fully because it's not me against him, it's us, finding what works best for both of us. How could picking up a crying child not feel comfortable and like going with the flow? Do some people not feel the natural inclination to be mothering or is it that they have been told so many times they should do the opposite of what feels right in the moment? I have thought before (I'm not a hardcore APer), that maybe going through a struggle initially might bring about better results, but I totally don't think so anymore. I think any kind of struggle or fighting against brings about bad things, no matter how it looks on the surface even. Child fell asleep, so it must be working, for example.

Oh, and to OP, I actually stopped going over to my friend's house because I felt very uncomfortable with her style of parenting, and it made me feel anxious. I'm not perfect and I don't know everything, but some things definitely feel better than others. Now if I could just apply the same philosophy with my toddler

Lena , wife to best friend Joe , mommy to my two sweetie pies, DS1 born 7.7.07 and DS2 just arrived 4.17.10
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