Advice: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 41 Old 02-22-2004, 11:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Eclipse- Even though things are going well, I wanted a bit of advice because a friend of mine is prego and I wanted to have a good book to give her for a shower that would help her figure out a bit of the whole parenting thing, but that wasn't quite as controversial as Ezzo, even though I still liked the book. And also because I am a work in progress, just trying to develop as a mom a little more especially for the resons you yourself mention, like teething hits or dc#2 isn't so easy.

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#32 of 41 Old 02-23-2004, 04:31 PM
 
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I have not read the Hogg or Ezzo books. But, here is a review from Kellymom.com on the Baby Whisperer book you may find interesting:

http://www.kellymom.com/reviews/revi...whisperer.html

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#33 of 41 Old 02-23-2004, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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1plus2: Thanks for the link. It was very informative. Does sound like she offers a lot of bad BFing advice. However in was written from a defient AP perspective. I'm a bit more mainstream so took the perspective with a grain of salt. thanks for the link!!!

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#34 of 41 Old 02-25-2004, 12:06 AM
 
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I love this forum - it really reaffirms my committment to cosleeping for as long as Stella needs it. It IS frustrating at times - other times I wake up in the middle of the night (on my own!) and look at her peaceful little face and feel her warmth....AHHH what a wonderful way to fall back to sleep! I will never forget something I read from Sears : that it really is such a SHORT period of time in the baby's life and yours.....it will pass. And then we might wish it hadn't!! Really cherish them while we can, right?
Anyway, I practically chant that some nights when I can NOT get her to go to sleep!!
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#35 of 41 Old 02-25-2004, 01:11 AM
 
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kind of offtopic...

Quote:
... really reaffirms my committment to cosleeping for as long as Stella needs it.
my son chooses to sleep on his own now, even when he's sick or hurt... since he was about 2 or 2 1/2 he just stopped being able to sleep around other people. it makes me so sad now because i sleep best when he's next to me. i'm an insomniac but if michael's right next to me, *poof* i get right to sleep.

we're definitely cosleeping with the new baby!

but i do know that for some people it's just not an option (due to health conditions, lack of adequate sleeping space, or medications). it's nice having the time to myself to stretch out, but most nights i'd love for michael to sleep near us still. :: sigh :: i guess he had to sleep on his own eventually...

it does bother me when people read only mainstream parenting info and think that they *shouldn't* sleep with their baby... i guess it bugs me because that's what *i* thought before i had my son... and now i know better.
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#36 of 41 Old 02-25-2004, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by klothos


it does bother me when people read only mainstream parenting info and think that they *shouldn't* sleep with their baby...
I agree. It is important to check it all out before hand. I think we put too many "should" and "shouldn'ts" into paretning. What's right and works for one may not be right and work for another.

Stellasmum and Klothos, I'm glad you've both had such great experiences with co-sleeping. It is sad when our babies grow up, even just a little. But I guess that's just a part of life. Just think one day they will be moving out and possibly going to college, or getting married and having babies of their own. Eeeck! We really do have to cherish those moments. On that note, off to give DS a bath!

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#37 of 41 Old 02-26-2004, 01:24 PM
 
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I've read Dr. Sears and the Baby Whisperer. Though I do not agree with everything in the Baby Whisperer, I did find it very helpful. Dr. Sears talks about reading your baby's cues - the Baby Whisperer helped me figure out what the cues were and how to interpret them. We kind of did the EASY thing for a while and it helped me settle into a routine, but we've sinced diverged from that specific routine. I will be eternally grateful to the Baby Whisperer for learning how to read sleepy cues and getting the baby to nap.

For example, we do nurse to sleep (not recommended by the BW), but it only works when we're in the "window" that the BW describes so well. My ds is now almost 8 months - he nurses every hour and a half and goes to sleep about 3 hours after he wakes up, just like clockwork. I hear about moms spending an hour trying to get their baby to go to sleep - I never have the patience for more than 5 minutes. Either ds is tired and goes to sleep or he plays a bit longer until I see the cues again and then I get him to go down. I was starting to get frustrated with Dr. Sears until I read the Baby Whisperer, and now I'm a big fan of Dr. Sears and reading cues - I would never have the patience to make my child go to sleep at 3:00 because that's when I think he should go to sleep (which is what Ezzo recommends according to what I've been told).

So people ask me if ds is on a schedule, I say yes; he is but it's based on his very predictable cues once I learned how to read them. Basically we're doing the schedule (like Ezzo recommends) and following cues (like Dr. Sears says), all thanks to the Baby Whisperer teaching me how to read cues. I have dear friends who like Babywise because Dr. Sears did not provide enough structure and it absolutely drove them crazy, which I can well imagine.

So that's my "middle-of-the-road" approach.

Tana, wife to Steve (5/02), mom to Ben (7/03), Joey (10/06) and Caroline (9/09)
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#38 of 41 Old 02-27-2004, 01:52 PM
 
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You're right- Sears is very (often frustratingly) unstructured. While that helped us to follow our instincts and Stella's cues....what if you don't sense much of either? We're not all so in tune....especially with lack of sleep and other stresses. Sometimes I have a different instinct every week and switch strategies on poor Stella! Which is why these authors really do come in handy --- even to read and discard if it isn't your style. Or you try and it feels WRONG. Any ideas are welcome for me....But I do have to ask: do many of you really have much time to read these things....are there any Cliff's Notes ???
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#39 of 41 Old 03-02-2004, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ha, ha. Cliff's notes would be very nice. Pageta I completely know what you mean. I don't think any one style can possibly capture it all. Our babies are way too complex for that. I'm going to try to check BW out from the library this week. I really need some more helpful ideas for getting Jaden to sleep. Although we do use CIO and I don't consider it "permante amotional damage" or anything like that, it is not always appropriate. For example I flew on about 4 planes in the last few days and that is not an appropriate place to let DS cry even for a minute or 2. KWIM. The only flaw I've found with not using sleep props as Bay wise and Baby whisperer describe is that not having a super effective means of getting baby to sleep other than cry or using the pick-up-and-put-down method can be really hard if you are not at home. At home what we do works great, but at a reastraunte or traveling is a whole different story. I don't want DS to become dependant upon things such as a 30 min rocking session before sleep or nursing but I just wish there was a magic sleep button. Anyone know what I mean. BTW I have tried so many times to rock DS to sleep and he just refuses and screams and arcs his back. It gets us both very frustrated.

Sorry for the book. Any one else dealt with this conflicting behavors?

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#40 of 41 Old 03-02-2004, 06:33 PM
 
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Elizabeth Pantly (no cry Sleep Solution) recommend introdicing a lovey and cue words.

For the lovey find a stuffed toy, blankie or somesuch ( I would recommend finding something ds likes and then buying 2 or 3 of them just in case :LOL) give it to him every time he nurses/has a bottle or sleeps or just when you are playing or cuddling. eventually he will become attatched and then as he gets used to getting it wevery time he sleeps he will associate it with sleep.

Cue words trigger a sort of pavlonian response. Ours are "Good Night Sleepy Baby" wqe started saying them as I was nursingh er to sleep. then would whisper them in her ear when we put her down. Now I sing the good night song, give a cheery "good Night Sleep Baby" and she lays down to sleep. Oh yeah, emphasis on the cheery part. When being introduced you should say them to your baby only when they are happy - before you laty them down if you think he is going to cry - so that he doesn't have anegative association or a crying association with them.

both of these willt ake a while for your baby to pick them up but they have worked really well for us.

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#41 of 41 Old 03-03-2004, 12:28 AM
 
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btw, the baby whisperer has a website with message boards that have a bunch of info on them. www.babywhisperer.com. I haven't read the book but have read tons on her site. The rigid schedule, esp the bfing aspects of it, turned me off. that said, we fell into a routine of sorts within the first few months and it has really helped. So we have a daily routine based on dd's cues and what works for us and my ptime work schedule and go from there. I avoided babywise altogether. Read healthy sleep habits, healthy child but didn't like that it was a cio book. also read no cry. will probably use it when I get up the guts to try and reduce dd's night waking/get her to self soothe for naps/sleep. she goes down pretty easily right now and wakes 1-2x a night at 9 mo, so no real complaints here.

oh, and IMO you don't have to co sleep to be AP. julia has always slept better in her own space, and aside from an off night when she is sick or teething she still does. we co sleep after the 3 am feed sometimes and when she wakes at 5 am :
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