Poll: What are your sleeping arrangements? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: What are your sleeping arrangements?
Single parent, child(ren) sleep separate 0 0%
Single parent, child(ren) co-sleep 5 55.56%
Sleep with partner, child(ren) sleep separate 26 100.00%
Sleep with partner, child(ren) co-sleep 86 100.00%
Partner sleeps separate, child(ren) sleep separate 3 33.33%
Partner sleeps separate, child(ren) co-sleep 20 100.00%
No children, but plan to co-sleep 6 66.67%
No children, but plan NOT to co-sleep 0 0%
Other - explain 14 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
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My parents are opinionated on the fact that I co-sleep and insist that I will be sleeping with teenagers in a few years. I assure them that it has no impact on their lives and many people co-sleep, and that when the time comes my children will be more than willing to occupy their own private space to sleep. They think I am damaging my kids somehow.. so I was wondering, what are everyone's sleeping arrangements? Is my situation really so unusual?

Currently, my six (almost seven) year old son has his own room, but he sleeps with me roughly 75% of the time. Even if he goes to sleep in his own bed, most of the time he migrates to mine sometime during the night.

I have a king-sized bed with a side-carred crib, and my four-year old daughter sleeps with me along with my 18-month old son. Add the older boy and obviously there's no room for anyone else. Hence, DH has his own room and his own bed.

This works for us, though sometimes I do wish DD would start using her own bed at least part of the time. She's very touchy-feely at night and wants to be right up against me... which can get annoying, when I can't even roll over.

Just wondering what the status is with co-sleepers on this forum...

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#2 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 02:47 PM
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My dds (5 and 2) have their own room. Dd2 starts out the night in her room with her sister and then usually in early morning comes waddling into our room to spend an hour or two sleeping with us. When she's sick or teething she sleeps with us longer.

When they were babies they both slept with us all the time.

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#3 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 05:22 PM
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Me and dh co sleep with dd2 who is almost 4 months. Dd1 has her own room. Occasionally she sleeps with us but everyone, including her sleeps better when she is in her own space. when dd2 stops night nursing we will transition her ot the troom with dd1. That is the plan anyway.

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#4 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 06:32 PM
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We play musical beds and do whatever makes everyone get the most sleep. We basically have a room full of beds--just a queen size and a full size next to each other, with no other furniture.

I try not to talk about sleep arrangements with my relatives--kind of like you shouldn't talk about politics in some families. Whenever they bring it up, I keep repeating my mantra: "I know it must seem different, but this is what works best for us." Sometimes I have to repeat it over and over, but they eventually leave me alone.
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#5 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 11:16 PM
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We were a straight up family bed until DS was about 9 months old. Then we transitioned him to his own bed. Now we put him to bed in his own room, and when he wakes he comes into our bed. It's been working really well for all of us.

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#6 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 11:29 PM
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We have our 8 and 5 yo in bunk beds in their room; they go to sleep in their own beds and may join us during the night.

In the master bedroom we have a twin bed in a corner with a queen pushed up against it. 2 yo dd sleeps in the twin and dh and I are in the queen. This is how it is supposed to be in theory, but the baby always ends up in the big bed between mom and dad.

This set-up is working well for us right now.

Oh, if the older girls want to come to our bed in the night they crawl in the twin bed.
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#7 of 40 Old 01-03-2010, 11:37 PM
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DH and I sleep together.
In theory, DS starts the night in his room and then comes to ours whenever he wakes up the first time.
"In theory" because he's started out in his room the last three nights but maybe 5 times total in the last 8 months or so prior.... (we did just get a new fun "big boy" bed and he likes that, even though the mattress is on the floor for sleeping - it's a loft bed which makes me nervous)

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#8 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 07:46 AM
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I'm a single/divorced mom and my son is ten. He slept with me from the time he was born til about 2 1/2. then my POS ex husband left him alone, got pulled over and arrested, I got a call at work from my mom about it. Needless to say, my son has been sleeping with me ever since. Once in a great while he'll sleep in his own bed but migrates to mine around 3:00 am. He has his own spot as I have a quen size bed. We have a dog that sleeps under the covers.
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#9 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 12:15 PM
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me, dh, 4 yr old and 3 mo old in our bed. the older kids have their own beds. i asked dh to stop co-sleeping with his kids when we moved in together and i, in turn, stopped sleeping with mine. it felt weird and i did NOT want any negativity from the ex's. i doubt the 4 yr old moves out anytime soon.

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#10 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 03:26 PM
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#11 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 03:45 PM
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My dd has a bed in her room where she starts the night. She usually sleeps with us after her second wake-up of the night. She's 18 months. DH sleeps with us, too.
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#12 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 03:48 PM
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I had to vote "other".

I slept with DD1 in my bed since her birth. After DD2 was born, the baby was always in my bed, and the toddler usually started the night in another bed with Daddy, then joined me in the middle of the night to nurse.

I moved both girls into another bedroom, together, when they were about 1 and 3 (and even then, they often joined me in my bed in the middle of the night.) I was hospitalized for a few months when they were 3 and 4, and when we were reunited, they needed some reasurrance. Although they had their own bedroom with their own beds, they were welcome in my bed whenever they wanted.

When DS' bio-dad joined our family, we played "musical beds". Some nights I'd sleep with DH. Other nights he'd fall asleep in the girls' room with both of them, or I'd fall asleep with DD2 in my room and he'd end up with DD1 in the girls' room. When DS was born, I usually put him in the crib next to my bed, then brought him to the big bed in the middle of the night. If I started DS in my bed, DH wouldn't come to my bed at all, but would sleep on the couch or in the girls' room.

When we split up (due to domestic violence- so more trauma for the girls) I ended up with all 3 kids (1, 6, and 8) in my room most nights. Since the queen sized bed was getting too crowded, I moved a toddler bed into the room. I allowed one girl in my bed and the other needed the toddler bed, and they took turns. I can't even tell you how long that continued, but by the time we moved out of that house (when they were 9 and 10) they slept in their own beds most of the time.

After moving, the girls continued to share one bedroom and DS and I took the other (only now we're in a smaller apt and the rooms are closer together.) DS and I shared the big bed until after he weaned (age 4) and then I started weaning him to the other bed in the room. He moved to his own bed permenantly when the queen sized bed wore out, and I couldn't justify the expense of a new mattress when we had 4 twin mattresses already (the two the girls had from before plus my parents' guest beds from the old house.)

Currently, my 15yo has her own room, and I share the larger bedroom with my 13yo and my 8yo (they have the bunkbed.) If we could afford the space, we'd each have our own rooms- we're sharing now due to necessity, not preference. If we had 4 bedrooms and I had a queen sized bed, I'm honestly not sure if I'd be sleeping alone, or if DS would use his room as a playroom and dressing room and sleep in mine, or if DD2 would end up in my bed if DS was in his.

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#13 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 04:25 PM
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At the moment, dh and I are in one bed, and each boy has his own bed. Most of the time, they sleep out the night in their own beds, but sometimes one or other will come and get in bed with us.

They both started out cosleeping, then eventually we transitioned them to their own beds, where they'd stay for a few hours and then get in bed with us. My 7 year old prefers sleeping by himself (and I prefer that too, getting kicked by a 7 year old hurts!), but he also knows he can come in with us anytime. Same with my 3 year old.
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#14 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 04:29 PM
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Hmm, I picked that I co-sleep with the kids and partner sleeps separate but that's not really accurate. Should have picked other. I sleep with my 2.5 year old nursling and DP sleeps with our almost 6 year old.
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#15 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 07:20 PM
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i put sleep with partner children cosleep...although or son has moved into his own bed...it's right next to our bed.

when he is 4 and our soon to be baby is 2 we will move them both at the same time to their own (shared) room. beds together, or apart, however they prefer.

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#16 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 10:59 PM
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Right now 3 mo. old and I co-sleep in my me and my husband's bedroom and my husband sleeps with our 5 year old daughter in her bedroom. This is temporary until DS is about 6 months or so and we plan on transitioning him to his own room.

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#17 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 11:22 PM
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I voted for 2

"Single parent, child co-sleeps" because that's what the situation was for the first 3 1/2 years of ds's life. He always had his own bed, but chose to sleep in mine.

"Sleep with partner, child sleeps in own bed" (or whatever that option was) because that's how it is now. DS has autism so when we moved when he was 3 1/2 (into dp's house, 2 states away from where we were) I knew it was already going to be a huge transition for him. Change is bad in the first place, so I decided to just bite the bullet and change everything at once. He got his own room (which dp did in a Thomas theme for ds.... perfect for my thomas obsessed little boy!) with his own bed and such. From that first night I just told him "this is your bed. You can sleep in this bed. If you need mama, I'll be right here" (and showed him my/dp's bed). DS did great with it! He was definitely ready for his own bed/room so it made it easier to transition him when something else was changing too. DS rarely wakes at night anymore, though if he does I usually go lay down with him in his bed (usually if he's waking at night that means he's sick).

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#18 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 11:32 PM
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I voted #3, but it would have been co-sleeping just a few months ago. My 4 year old DD decided to sleep in her own bed right after turning 4. She's only been back in our bed 3 times. She can have more interesting nightlights in her room. My DH needs a darkened room to sleep in. That's probably part of it or maybe she was just ready, who knows.
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#19 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 11:53 PM
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I voted other. I co-sleep with my youngest, and DS sleeps in his own room across from my room. I'm on single parent duty right now, but once DH gets back we'll co-sleep with DD. Very rarely DS will come in bed with me but he only ends up falling asleep maybe 50% of the time when he does.

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#20 of 40 Old 01-04-2010, 11:59 PM
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Dh and I bedshare with our 1yo and many nights our 3yo comes into the bed after awhile.

We have bedshared with all of our children and my 9yo who slept with us until he was four, sleeps perfectly well on his own. So do the 7 and 5 yo girls.
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#21 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 12:41 AM
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Dh and I bedshare with our 6 month old DD. We have her crib in a sidecar set up, but she spends a majority of the night with use. Our 2.5 year old DS, sleeps in a twin bed in his own room. He has never really enjoyed sharing a bed with us and has loved having his own space.

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#22 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 12:52 AM
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I voted sleeps w/partner, child co-sleeps - but maybe should have chose other since I have 3 older children who sleep in their own rooms.

In our bed (king) is me, DH, and DS3 who is turning 3 in March. We were just last night (while laying in bed as he snoozed) talking about getting him a big bed, possibly a queen sized futon mattress to put on the floor of his room. He moves like crazy in the middle of the night, and we get kicked a lot lately. He always does a 180 and ends up upside down, or sideways.

Anyway, I do love co-sleeping, and will always give him a choice as to where he wants to sleep. For a while there he was sleeping in his own room, but I think b/c it was a toddler bed it was just not near enough space for him (he's pretty tall), and he started waking up and coming in to join us.

Our 4.5, 6.5, and 8.5 yo's sleep in their own beds (or sometimes each others, but only in ours every great once in awhile now).

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#23 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 01:23 AM
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I cosleep with the infant. DH is another room to get more sleep. Toddler sleeps in a crib in the hallway between us. If toddler wakes up in the night, DH responds, although toddler mostly sleeps through the night.

The first 18m with toddler were rough rough rough with lots of useless and horrible comments by lots of people. Bedsharing worked well for me and DS but DH hated it and I hated his whining.

Actually, I don't really like cosleeping all that much. I'd rather have a babe in a crib and down the hall who was sleeping through the night. Somehow my sister managed it and bf'd and all her kids slept through the night at like 6m.

But I bf on demand and I don't CIO and I believe babies need to be responded so that pretty and doing all of those things when the babe is far away is retched for the momma. So it is just easier to be there and respond quickly and try and get as much sleep as possible. I spend a lot less time up during the night this way because the babe never really wakes up, just gets restless and then I nurse her and she goes into a deeper sleep quickly.

For me, it isn't a philosophical choice. But bf'ing is really important and I work FT and night nursing is important for the babe and my milk supply.
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#24 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 01:53 AM
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DD is 2.6 or so and starts out in her own room (it's a big bed and I nurse her down) and then calls for us sometime in the night and we get her and she sleeps with us. That can vary a lot, sometimes it's just a couple hours (if she's sick an hour) and then sometimes it's hours and hours on her own. DH loves snuggling with her a times; he wants to sleep like that but he's never been able to sleep any way but curled up with blankets over his head, so he gets to sleep solo (even I don't get to sleep snuggled on him hardly ever!) and I get DD snuggled on my arm (now that we nightweaned; before she was in the crook of my arm on the boob pillow!) We're all very happy with this. I know it'll be so short in hindsight, even if we have 4 kids, one day they'll all be on their own... I like the coziness and I actually worry about sleeping solo. Sometimes it's a real adjustment, now that I go to sleep while she's still in her room!
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#25 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 02:30 AM
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Ok... I think I remember you from the July ddc?
I co-sleep full time with my dd (17 mos) and most nights with my 5 yr old. Dh sleeps most nights w ds7! And sometimes with the 5 yr old. One night out of the week I sleep with all 3 kids and dh sleeps in the boys bed!!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
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#26 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 03:05 AM
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I voted "sleep with partner, children sleep separately" and "other." DD is five and sleeps in her own bed, in her own room. She co-slept with DH and I, though, until she was three. We always had a room for her, with her clothes, books, toys and an available crib. She never spent a night in it. Heck, she never even took a nap in it- but it was there. When she was two, we converted the crib to a toddler bed, but she wasn't interested. When she was three, we asked her if she wanted to try out her "big girl bed." She did! She was totally excited about it. She ended up sleeping in it for the first part of every night and then crawling in with us until morning. That was perfectly fine. When she was almost four, she got too big for the toddler bed, so we allowed her to choose her bed from IKEA. She was so excited about it that she's been it in every night since. She still sometimes crawls in with us if she is sick or has a nightmare, but I think all kids do that.

I guess my point is that she moved out of our bed at her own pace, in her own time, when given the tools that inspired her to do so.

If/when we have another child, they will have a crib available- that they will probably never sleep in- and sleep with us as long as they feel they need to.

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#27 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 03:10 AM
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My dp, ds, dd and I all sleep together in a king sized bed. The only time my dp sleeps elsewhere is when his snoring is keeping me awake.

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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#28 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 03:26 AM
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I sleep with DS and my partner.

Carly [30] + DH [28] + DS [10]
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#29 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 03:55 AM
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We co-slept with both of our babes. At two DS1 had his own bed in his own room where he began the night and every morning at 5 am he would be welcomed back into our bed to sleep for a few more hours. This went on until he was 5. He now sleeps through the night in his own bed but knows he is welcome back in our king. He will sleep part of the night with us once in a blue moon (he's 7)

Right now, our little one (almost 19 mo) starts the night in his toddler bed which is positioned between the wall and our bed. Sometimes he stays there all night but most of the time he makes it into the big bed before morning. We got the toddler bed when he was about 16 months old and he generally seems to prefer it.

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#30 of 40 Old 01-05-2010, 03:57 AM
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I sleep in the bed with DD (who is 7 months) and DH sleeps on a mattress on the floor.

Mommy to DS Scotland (4) & DD Finley (05.14.09)
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