prisoner in my own bed, help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 01:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Help! My 6 month old son sleeps in our bed and nurses continually throughout the night, I feel like I'm a prisoner to my own bed. I used to be able to nurse him to sleep at night then get up and do choirs. This is getting more and more difficult. He wakes quickly and can only be consoled by nursing, even though he is not hungry. Often if I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom he wakes within seconds of me leaving the bed. I'm not sleeping well because he is nursing so often (every 1-2 hours). Other moms say he should be sleeping through the night by now??
Daytime naps are similarly difficult, he only falls asleep at the breast and if I am able to lie him down he only sleeps for 10-20 minutes. He only gets a good long nap if I let him continue to lie in my lap after breastfeeding, letting him nurse when he stirs or begins to wake. His nighttime nursing/attachment is getting worse by the week. Should I start putting him to bed in a different bed?
(Just some background, he has been on pureed foods since 4.5 months, and I try to feed him something substantial 1-2 hours before bed. He does get a decent amount of sleep, he goes to bed around 8 and wakes around 7. I have tried giving him a pacifier while lying next to him at times when he was full but just wanted to continually suck. This has worked a few times before but doesn't work at all anymore, he just screams and screams. I stay at home with him and wear/carry him often.)
Any advise would be appreciated!
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#2 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 03:07 AM
 
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Subscribing, because I think you're me. Or I'm you. Except for the fact that my baby is 7 months old and a girl, I am in the same situation. (Note that it's after midnight and STILL my LO has not realized it's bedtime yet...) :yawning

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#3 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 03:37 AM
 
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This is a common sleep regression age due to learning to sit up, I think what you are dealing with is normal. Putting him to sleep elsewhere would be confusing and scary for him and you and would result in no more sleep sadly.

A lot of us have had success with the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - have you read it?

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#4 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 11:08 AM
 
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How often is he nursing during the day? You say he eats pureed solids so I am wondering if he is not getting enough calories? At 6 mo. he should be getting lots and lots of mama milk throughout the day and if he isn't getting as much as he needs he will look for it all night .

I would cut out the purees. Really he doesn't "need" it. Remember the saying "just for fun until they're one" because the solids shouldn't count as a "meal" just a taste for a new experience/fun. I know my own ds didn't even want to eat solids until14 months and even then it was tiny bits here and there.

I would try upping the nursing during the day to see if that will help him sleep more at night. Also he is SOOOOO young. At that age I don't think I even tried to leave the bed once he was asleep LOL. I just read, used the computer, quietly chatted with dh etc. Remember they are little for such a short time!

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#5 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 12:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by goldenapple View Post
He only gets a good long nap if I let him continue to lie in my lap after breastfeeding, letting him nurse when he stirs or begins to wake.
I'm wondering about this, specifically, because we do this, too. We call it our "nurse naps", and she can get two really good naps if I am willing/able to sit in the recliner for the entire time with DD on the Boppy. For a long time I have been doing it because at least she is getting some form of a good nap or two...but lately I wonder if this is what is making her want to do the same thing (nurse at every little stir) all night long.

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#6 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by hollytheteacher View Post
How often is he nursing during the day? You say he eats pureed solids so I am wondering if he is not getting enough calories? At 6 mo. he should be getting lots and lots of mama milk throughout the day and if he isn't getting as much as he needs he will look for it all night .

I would cut out the purees. Really he doesn't "need" it.
Actually I started him on purees that early at the advice of our doctor because he was constantly grabbing at our food, he would even stop nursing to try to take food out of my mouth. He is a big baby (9 lbs at birth) so I know his calorie need is higher. Breastmilk alone doesn't satisfy. And yes, I do nurse him throughout the day, usually every two hours (again, other moms tell me he should be able to go 4 hours between feedings. If he has had a big meal of veg he can sometimes go 3 hours, but never 4). In addition to numerous breastfeedings he eats 2-4 oz of food 3-4 a day. He's growing at a healthy rate, currently wearing size 9-12 mo. I think the issue is about comfort rather than calories, but thanks for your input!
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#7 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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This sounds like my 7 month old. For her, I'm pretty sure the teething is what's causing the desire to nurse constantly. I give her teething tablets before every nap and before bedtime, it does seem to help.

She's also getting very close to crawling, she's gaining better use/control of her hands, recently began pulling up, is starting to babble more....I think it's just a big time developmentally.

I let her nurse whenever she needs to, and I've cut back my expectations as far as cooking and cleaning on days when I'm just exhausted. Getting out, even if only for a short walk, distracts her and wears her out, so she often sleeps better afterward. It's been about 2-3 weeks, and I did see an improvement last night (1 3-hour stretch, and she was less restless).

Good luck to you!

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#8 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 05:12 PM
 
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Sorry to say my DD did that, for a few months. She eventually started sleeping better again, not that I managed to change anything despite trying many things. It may not be something you can change and you want to try to make the best of it, by say having the TV remote nearby for that lap nap, or having an mp3 player with music or stories on it to enjoy while laying down. That sounds like a ton of food for such a small baby though, my DD didn't get 3 meals until near a year. Breastmilk is more dense than those vegetables, it may be filling him up without the calories

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#9 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by EzzysMom View Post
That sounds like a ton of food for such a small baby though, my DD didn't get 3 meals until near a year. Breastmilk is more dense than those vegetables, it may be filling him up without the calories
I thought so too, but my doc said you can't feed a baby too much, as long as you're not forcing the food. I forgot to mention that I don't nurse any less since we added food. I've just been slowly increasing the purees based on his signals .
Thanks for your support, it helps to know it will change. It's just hard to feel so tied to the bed, at night when he is sleeping is the only time I can really get anything done around the house (and it's the only time I get to spend with hubby)
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#10 of 10 Old 01-11-2010, 11:18 PM
 
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No advice here, we're in the same boat.

DD will not stay asleep for more than 20-30 min unless I am there with her, day or night. She sleeps 10 h at night bc that is how long *I* am willing to remain in the bed for. Otherwise she takes catnaps. And during the day, even re-boobing her will usually only get her to nap for an hour max.

I just stopped expecting to get anything done around the house. I did have to get a cleaning svc to come last weekend bc the house was SO dirty.


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again, other moms tell me he should be able to go 4 hours between feedings.
I hear this too but it sounds way off base to me. I rarely go 4 hours without eating or drinking anything at all - why would anyone expect an infant to do that? It makes sense that a baby needs to nurse at least as often as an adult needs a drink.

Me, DH, DD1 (5/2009) and DD2 (10/2011).
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