Sleep Deprived Mamas Support Thread - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 02-01-2010, 12:22 PM
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I like that..."it's not co-sleeping if Mama is not sleeping". That's how we feel. Theoretically we like co-sleeping and actually often sleep just Mama and DD in a double mattress on the floor, but in bed w/ heavy sleeping DH means no sleep for Mama. Having the extra double futon on the floor in DD's room has been very nice for some naps or especially rough nights.
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#32 of 43 Old 02-01-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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I posted a couple of days ago after hitting rock bottom, but DH and I found a new routine which is *really* helping. Basically 8 mo DS was waking up and being restless all night long. Every time he woke he needed my boob in his mouth to get back to sleep, and every time I disengaged he started whining again. DH suggested we put DS on his side of the bed, i.e. not next to me. The plan was that I would aim to nurse DS 1-2 times during the night MAX. After only 2 nights, things are drastically improved! DS sleeps from 7 p.m. until about 1-2 a.m., when DH and I switch places and I nurse him to sleep. Once he's asleep, DH and I switch places again. DS woke up once at around 4 or 5 and cried a little bit, but DH snuggled him back to sleep with my boobs far enough away for him to forget about the temptation. Next time DS woke up, around 6 or 7, we did another switch-and-nurse. I'm feeling really optimistic that with this technique we will get DS sleeping through the night, or at least waking maybe once, soon enough. Once we achieve that, we'll move him into his crib next to our bed in the hopes that things won't regress.
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#33 of 43 Old 02-01-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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Sleep....the word sounds familiar, but I can't recall exactly what it is, IT'S BEEN SO LONG!! Well I'm probably being a little dramatic (our youngest is only 4 mos. and the true lack of sleep probably began around July last year). But it feels like YEARS since I have had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep! And I think I've got a long way to go because DS is totally lovin' the nigttime boob! And if it's not him waking up to eat, it's his 6 yo brother who seems to find his way into our bed every. stinkin. night! Oh well, I think everyone around me is getting used to me functioning in a semi-conscious/aware state! Still, I dream of the day when sleep and I will be reunited!

Happily married to my hero and SAHMama to 4 precious gifts from God
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#34 of 43 Old 02-03-2010, 03:08 AM
 
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I belong here too. My DD has never been a great sleeper, and any gains we did make in the early months went right out with window when the 4 month GS hit....I'm still traumatized by that GS Things have gotten only marginally better since then, and she's a year old now.
She only naps on me while I nurse and rock her, and wakes within 20 minutes if I try laying her down.
She usually wakes a minimum of 8 times to nurse from the time she goes to bed to the time she wakes in the morning (6 times while I'm in bed with her too). On a bad night she's awake 20+ times, tossing and turning for hours on end, laying next to me playing, headbutting me, smacking me or heeling me in the face at 4 in the morning, trying to roll off the bed.....
I have zero help at night. DH has been on the couch since we brought DD home. Her crib is side-carred so there is plenty of room for him, but- yeah.... I won't even go any further on that
Luckily I don't get any of the unsolicited advice from family/friends. I guess maybe that's one benefit of being an older first time mom at 33, or maybe they just know my personality by now and know what things they better not dare say to me
I was curious if anyone here has read Helping Baby Sleep: The Science and Practice of Gentle Nighttime Parenting, by Anni Gethin PhD and Beth Macgregor? I read a brief snippit about it in the recent issue of Mothering Mag, and there is a good amount of the book available for preview on Amazon....the preview has me intrigued. I'm considering the purchase, but I need better suggestions than what I found in the NCSS...suggestions that apply more for an older high-needs baby that doesn't settle for less than what she wants

Carrie~ wife to Ryan, and finally mama to Emmery (1/15/09) via IVF after 3 1/2 years TTC!
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#35 of 43 Old 02-03-2010, 04:57 PM
 
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Yes, yes, yes, co-sleeping is great for everyone but the parents who share the bed with the kid. He kicks, he head butts me, he busted my lip open once, sleeps side ways, kicks me in my already sore lower back and than he strokes my DH's arms which tickles and drives him nuts. I wanted to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor.
No matter how much we try, every time we put him in the crib he wakes up. Last night he was dead asleep, but we were not, cause he was sleeping sideways again, so I tried to pick him up and put him in his crib which is only 2 feet away from us. The instant he hit his crib mattress he woke up crying, I picked him up put him in our bed again and BOOM, he was fast asleep again. GRRR...
I get the same comments too:
"just let him CIO",
"he is manipulating you"
"he will never sleep in his own"

Who, cares! I just want a descent nights sleep.
Thanks for letting me vent:yawning

Mom to a perfect 18 month old

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#36 of 43 Old 02-03-2010, 11:44 PM
 
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This was me last night: "Stop crying! Papa is trying to sleep, Caren is trying to sleep, Clara is trying to sleep, mama is trying to sleep and you need to sleep too." We had house guests. Lovely. Also, "Mama is not going to stay in your bed with you, mama wants to sleep in her bed with papa, and you need to sleep here and not wake up." I NEVER imagined myself saying such harsh things to my kid, but when I'm sleep deprived, I'm not myself. DS has a special talent for waking up just as I am drifting off to sleep.

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#37 of 43 Old 02-05-2010, 12:07 AM
 
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A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....
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#38 of 43 Old 02-05-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mrsteapot View Post
A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....
This heating pad does work to help me get her onto those cold cotton sheets. This morning I tried one of those microwaveable heat packs, the aromatherapy rice sock sort of thing that has lavender, cinnamon, lemongrass, etc, inside. It was easier for me to lay that down and kick it aside when I laid her in the crib, since DH was not here and he is the one in charge of monitoring/moving the heating pad when he's here. Plus the rice "sock" can't really get too hot, I don't think. I just left in in the crib near her head, so maybe she will feel a little ambient heat from it, and still get the nice scent.

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#39 of 43 Old 02-05-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.
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#40 of 43 Old 02-05-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jend1002 View Post
Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.

Anyone who says that, and is halfway serious about it, has never been well-and-truly sleep deprived for any length of time

Carrie~ wife to Ryan, and finally mama to Emmery (1/15/09) via IVF after 3 1/2 years TTC!
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#41 of 43 Old 02-06-2010, 11:56 PM
 
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alisoninparis, thanks for your success report. DH and I are doing some research and planning right now to hopefully help our darling ds get more sleep. Fortunately for us, he is a good daytime sleeper and will start the night out in his crib for a two or three hour stretch, but then insist on being in our bed (like won't sleep in his crib anymore) and has to be snuggled up to me with his head in my armpit! It's getting harder and harder for me to sleep through all the nursing, but I WOH and co-sleeping is the only way I can get even close to the sleep I need.

OTOH, a friend of mine was just diagnosed with major depression following three years of sleep deprivation with her high needs ds. So, please mamas, take care of yourselves. Prolonged sleep deprivation is unhealthy for parents and kids.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#42 of 43 Old 02-07-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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Hi again mamas. I'm back for another report on our attempts to wean DS at night by keeping him on DH's side as much as possible. After some initial success we had a couple nights of regression, one bad enough to have me worried that this would never work (at 3 a.m., an hour after nursing, DS was screaming his head off and slapping/kicking DH for 30 minutes before we gave up and I nursed him back to sleep). But then he got better again. We're nowhere near our goal of getting him to sleep in his crib and waking max. once per night, but I feel we are slowly heading in the right direction. I never expected a quick solution anyway. Working as a team we should be able to make this happen in the next month or so, I hope. Last night he went to bed at 7 and didn't wake until about 3, when I nursed him. He woke up once or twice more and DH got him back to sleep both times by just cuddling with him. Then he woke up for the day at 7:15. Not bad!!
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#43 of 43 Old 02-08-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jend1002 View Post
Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.
Yes, so frustrating! My rejoinder to that is that yes, this may be the case, but at that point I won't be structuring my day around her sleep schedule (or lack thereof).

Eleanor is wonderful during the day, but at night she can be an absolute nightmare. I'm just coming off of a week where she was up for 2.5-3 hours in the middle of the night, every night, plus getting up at least an hour before usual in the morning, plus only napping for 30-45 minutes. She slept 8 hour stretches for 3 wonderful nights when she was about 8 weeks old, but now at 16 months she's been sleeping like a newborn for well over a year. Plus, even on the rare occasions when she sleeps for 3 hours at a time during the night, toward morning (around 4:00 or so) she almost always gets up every hour until finally being up for the day at around 7:00, so I never feel even remotely rested in the morning.

My husband thinks I need to change her sleep schedule, but I don't think so. She always goes down pretty easily at naptime and bedtime, and I know she's tired at those times. Her sleep schedule isn't the problem; the problem is that she just isn't sleeping for any significant length of time!

What really had me seeing red was when my husband wasn't feeling well and got to sleep a whole 14 HOURS. Not only that, when he got up he said he was feeling tired from getting TOO MUCH sleep, and then said to me, in all seriousness, "You know the feeling?" Um, NO, actually I don't! He backpedaled pretty quickly from that one!

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