So what do cosleepers do when they hire a sitter? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 18 Old 02-23-2010, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
BellaMay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ithaca, NY
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One of the main reasons I haven't had a sitter over for our three little ones is the whole question of bedtime.

I have two older children who go to bed around 8pm, but my 16mo old stays up with me while I clean up the kitchen, etc. until around 9:30pm, and then I nurse her to sleep in my bed, then finish up nighttime stuff before I go to bed.

How to handle this routine with a sitter? I can't ask her to lie down with her in our bed...should I just say keep the babe up until we get home?

Wondering how other family bedders/extended nursers deal with going out at night? And feeling a bit apprehensive (still, three kids in!) about leaving my kids with sitters...
BellaMay is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 18 Old 02-23-2010, 11:11 PM
 
RedPony's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My oldest is 3.75 and we've never hired a sitter. At most, she's spent several hours w/ her grandma and only one night. Each time gma has kept her up unless she fell asleep. The one night, gma took my then 18 mo to bed w/ her and all was well. I can't even imagine a sitter w/ my kids. Maybe some day? Right now, we're okay. I get and DH stays home or he gets out and I do. My youngest is 10 months old and no where near ready to stay w/ gma. We just deal. And thank God for gma!

Stacy - mom to Lily 5-20-06 , Angel, stillborn @ 25 wks 12-17-07 , and Cami 4-21-09.
RedPony is offline  
#3 of 18 Old 02-23-2010, 11:11 PM
 
snoopy5386's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,575
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we always went out during the afternoon instead. Works much better for our family.

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
snoopy5386 is offline  
#4 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:00 AM
 
nameisrio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 133
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have only had family watch mine and they HAVE laid down in our bed to get her to go to sleep! She just FINALLY had her first sleepover at grandmas at 3 yrs. old b/c she is no longer nursing and finally sleeps in her own bed all night!

Proud Mama of M (11/6/06), wife to T (7/31/04) and teacher of 23 first graders
nameisrio is offline  
#5 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:09 AM
 
sailorscout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: bavaria
Posts: 123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
the only time (rare occasion) I go out is after bedtime.

homeschooling mom to coco (9/2006)

baby house to a new little (1/2015)
treehugger.gif nocirc.gif familybed1.gif cat.gif

 

 

 
sailorscout is offline  
#6 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:16 AM
 
kgreenemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What's a babysitter?

Married to Tony 6/07. Mommy to Jude 4/08 and Gemma 4/11.
kgreenemama is offline  
#7 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:27 AM
 
jewelsJZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 503
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
With my 3 and 5 year old, I have had a babysitter put them to bed in our bed. They pretty much keep each other company and chatter and listen to music and then fall asleep on their own, but in our room.
With my now 14 month old, when he was 8 months and under, we took him with us and he usually slept the whole time in the infant carrier or the Moby wrap. Now he also stays up with us until around 9:00. If we go out, we go on a Saturday afternoon. We go to lunch or shop or run errands without the kids (sounds boring, but it's a joy to go to Costco without them, it really is ).
jewelsJZ is offline  
#8 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:14 AM
 
BlackSheepPDX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've had folks lie down with our DD to help her to sleep. No biggie. Just make sure your sheet are clean!

Co-sleeping, Breastfeeding, EC'ing, Baby-wearing, Homebirthing mama to two fabulous girls 6/2007 and 8/2010
BlackSheepPDX is offline  
#9 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:19 AM
 
smeisnotapirate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Jerusalem, Israel
Posts: 5,738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't give the sitter (usually a college student) any "rules" for bedtime, and DS usually falls asleep on them (if they're watching TV or whatever) or curls up wherever he gets tired. Then when we get back, he goes to bed with us.

Not sure how it would work for a kid who is used to one type of routine around bedtime, but it works for us.

Sara caffix.gif, Keith 2whistle.gif, Toby 6/08superhero.gif, Nomi 4/10blahblah.gif, Mona 1/12 hammer.gif

 

Mama of three, lover, student rabbi, spoonie, friend, musician, narcoleptic, space muffin, pretty much a dragon. Crunchy like matzoh.

smeisnotapirate is offline  
#10 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:46 AM
 
Ruthie's momma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Monument, Colorado
Posts: 1,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH and I have day time dates. I put DD down for her nap, we leave (she knows that we are going to be gone for the afternoon), and return a few hours later. We actually get a lot more time to ourselves, as well. I have never been much of a night owl.... So far, we have only left DD with my sister.

Libby blahblah.gif, momma to my precious little girl (6/29/07) 
                        and wonderful little man (12/1/10)

Ruthie's momma is offline  
#11 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 08:15 PM
 
BeanyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We would stick to afternoons until they started sleeping through the night, then we would just put them down ourselves and pay the sitter to watch TV

Mama to four ('03, '05, '08 & '11) chicken3.gif
BeanyMama is offline  
#12 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 10:49 PM
 
lindsayjean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well I guess I'm the odd one out... but my mom will babysit for me at night- she either holds my baby (6 months old) while he is sleeping, or she will set him on the bed with blockades around him so he won't roll off (what I do when I'm not in bed with him). She'd probably put him in a crib- but we don't have one set up. I only do this, though, because i have a training I have to be at one night a week and my husband works that night
lindsayjean is offline  
#13 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 01:52 AM
 
missmich's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 909
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's fine to ask a babysitter how she feels about laying in or on the bed while she puts the kids to sleep. She can say yes or no. I've babysat for a family who co slept with their older daughter,younger one liked her own bed more. I can't remember if they asked me to lay with her or if I said I didn't mind laying with her til she feel asleep. I wouldn't really feel comfortable getting under the covers and into the bed though,unless it were a guest bed or something with clean sheets.

One family that I was really close to had me stay overnight with the boys and one was pretty young and still nursed I think in the middle of the night. I knew he'd have issues waking and getting back to sleep so with out even thinking I asked if they minded if we co slept. We'd done it before on the couch for nap time,but that's a bit different. They said they were fine with it and it was so much easier getting him back to sleep when he woke.
missmich is offline  
#14 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 02:55 AM
 
JoyFilled's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our DD is only 10 months and the few times we have gone out I just told them that she stays up late. Normally she ends up falling asleep on them.
JoyFilled is offline  
#15 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 07:04 PM
 
Lilygoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've had a variety of cosleeping arrangements for my DD (16 months).

When she was younger she literally slept on her father or I. We desperately needed a night out and my best friend offerred to babysit, understanding that she might have to lay on the couch with DD (friend awake) so DD could sleep. We would occasionally try to put DD in a pack n play for small amounts of time after she was asleep with only limited success. My friend held her to sleep and put her in the pack n play. DD slept peacefully until about 1/2 hour after we got home! She continued to do this the couple other times my friend watched her.

After DD learned to sleep next to me in our bed, we would just have friend or family memeber who was watching her, stay with her until she fell asleep-singing, softly rubing her back, etc. then barricade her in, as we would do if we weren't going to bed yet. She slept great!

Now, we have moved my DD toddler bed into our room and she starts the night in it then transfers to our bed once she starts waking and not falling back to sleep. We recently had my fatehr and step-mom watch her for a few hours, and they put her to sleep using our routine with no problems. Predictably DD woke up 1/2-1 hour after we arrived home.

Needless to say our DD sleeps really well for our family and friends, just not for us
Lilygoose is offline  
#16 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 07:19 PM
 
Thalia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 2,164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Depends on the sitter. Normally 2.5 year old DD nurses to sleep for naps and bedtime. She spends naps alone, and starts out the night alone, but always comes tot the family bed after her first night waking. We have a regular caregiver who comes three days a week, and she is able to get DD down for naps and bedtime by giving her a bottle (up until 18 months it was mama milk, now it is cow's milk), and then rocking/bouncing her to sleep. Sometimes she goes to sleep even without the bouncing if she is tired enough. MIL and FIL, who watch DD once a week, just can't get DD to sleep with the same routine, partly because they provide so much stimulation (and they can't physically bounce a 28 pound kid to sleep anyway). For other evening sitters, we usually have her stay up until we get home around 9 or 10 and put her to bed then. She's a night owl anyway, so it's not too far off from her normal bedtime.

thalia loves Jesus and DH wordyeight and DD#1 : 8/2007 and DD#2 9/2010
and remembering: little turtle 5/23/2006 and poppyseed 7/15/2009
Thalia is offline  
#17 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 12:23 AM
 
To-Fu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the base ship
Posts: 4,445
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopy5386 View Post
we always went out during the afternoon instead. Works much better for our family.
This is exactly what we do, too (well, the one time we've been on a date in the last two years, ha!).

When my 2yo wakes up from his nap, we leave and generally have a good 5 or 6 hours to see a movie and get some dinner or whatever.

I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but it was great for us.

Have you seen the updated user agreement yet?
To-Fu is offline  
#18 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 12:24 AM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The last time I had a sitter was when DS was 4 months old and DH and I had to go to a ball. My mom watched him and she just gave him a bottle and held him while he slept. Now he's at the age where he can be put in bed, kissed good night, and he'll go to sleep (most nights, the last few nights have been off) so it's not too much of an issue. We have another ball to go to in the spring and I'm hoping my IL's can watch them, if so I'll probably just recommend having them do the bedtime routine and keep DS up a little later, then just put him to bed. DD gets rocked to sleep, so they either have the choice of rocking and holding her or rocking her and laying her down. I'd say you could either ask the sitter to lay down with her with a sippy of milk or just keep her up if you don't plan to be out really late. Or maybe even have her lay on the couch with a sippy if she'll fall asleep that way?

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off