So what do cosleepers do when they hire a sitter? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 02-23-2010, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
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One of the main reasons I haven't had a sitter over for our three little ones is the whole question of bedtime.

I have two older children who go to bed around 8pm, but my 16mo old stays up with me while I clean up the kitchen, etc. until around 9:30pm, and then I nurse her to sleep in my bed, then finish up nighttime stuff before I go to bed.

How to handle this routine with a sitter? I can't ask her to lie down with her in our bed...should I just say keep the babe up until we get home?

Wondering how other family bedders/extended nursers deal with going out at night? And feeling a bit apprehensive (still, three kids in!) about leaving my kids with sitters...
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#2 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:11 AM
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My oldest is 3.75 and we've never hired a sitter. At most, she's spent several hours w/ her grandma and only one night. Each time gma has kept her up unless she fell asleep. The one night, gma took my then 18 mo to bed w/ her and all was well. I can't even imagine a sitter w/ my kids. Maybe some day? Right now, we're okay. I get and DH stays home or he gets out and I do. My youngest is 10 months old and no where near ready to stay w/ gma. We just deal. And thank God for gma!

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#3 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 12:11 AM
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we always went out during the afternoon instead. Works much better for our family.

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#4 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:00 AM
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I have only had family watch mine and they HAVE laid down in our bed to get her to go to sleep! She just FINALLY had her first sleepover at grandmas at 3 yrs. old b/c she is no longer nursing and finally sleeps in her own bed all night!

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#5 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:09 AM
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the only time (rare occasion) I go out is after bedtime.

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#6 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:16 AM
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What's a babysitter?

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#7 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 01:27 AM
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With my 3 and 5 year old, I have had a babysitter put them to bed in our bed. They pretty much keep each other company and chatter and listen to music and then fall asleep on their own, but in our room.
With my now 14 month old, when he was 8 months and under, we took him with us and he usually slept the whole time in the infant carrier or the Moby wrap. Now he also stays up with us until around 9:00. If we go out, we go on a Saturday afternoon. We go to lunch or shop or run errands without the kids (sounds boring, but it's a joy to go to Costco without them, it really is ).
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#8 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 02:14 AM
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I've had folks lie down with our DD to help her to sleep. No biggie. Just make sure your sheet are clean!

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#9 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 02:19 AM
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I don't give the sitter (usually a college student) any "rules" for bedtime, and DS usually falls asleep on them (if they're watching TV or whatever) or curls up wherever he gets tired. Then when we get back, he goes to bed with us.

Not sure how it would work for a kid who is used to one type of routine around bedtime, but it works for us.

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#10 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 02:46 AM
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DH and I have day time dates. I put DD down for her nap, we leave (she knows that we are going to be gone for the afternoon), and return a few hours later. We actually get a lot more time to ourselves, as well. I have never been much of a night owl.... So far, we have only left DD with my sister.

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#11 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 09:15 PM
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We would stick to afternoons until they started sleeping through the night, then we would just put them down ourselves and pay the sitter to watch TV

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#12 of 18 Old 02-24-2010, 11:49 PM
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well I guess I'm the odd one out... but my mom will babysit for me at night- she either holds my baby (6 months old) while he is sleeping, or she will set him on the bed with blockades around him so he won't roll off (what I do when I'm not in bed with him). She'd probably put him in a crib- but we don't have one set up. I only do this, though, because i have a training I have to be at one night a week and my husband works that night
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#13 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 02:52 AM
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I think it's fine to ask a babysitter how she feels about laying in or on the bed while she puts the kids to sleep. She can say yes or no. I've babysat for a family who co slept with their older daughter,younger one liked her own bed more. I can't remember if they asked me to lay with her or if I said I didn't mind laying with her til she feel asleep. I wouldn't really feel comfortable getting under the covers and into the bed though,unless it were a guest bed or something with clean sheets.

One family that I was really close to had me stay overnight with the boys and one was pretty young and still nursed I think in the middle of the night. I knew he'd have issues waking and getting back to sleep so with out even thinking I asked if they minded if we co slept. We'd done it before on the couch for nap time,but that's a bit different. They said they were fine with it and it was so much easier getting him back to sleep when he woke.
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#14 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 03:55 AM
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Our DD is only 10 months and the few times we have gone out I just told them that she stays up late. Normally she ends up falling asleep on them.
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#15 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 08:04 PM
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We've had a variety of cosleeping arrangements for my DD (16 months).

When she was younger she literally slept on her father or I. We desperately needed a night out and my best friend offerred to babysit, understanding that she might have to lay on the couch with DD (friend awake) so DD could sleep. We would occasionally try to put DD in a pack n play for small amounts of time after she was asleep with only limited success. My friend held her to sleep and put her in the pack n play. DD slept peacefully until about 1/2 hour after we got home! She continued to do this the couple other times my friend watched her.

After DD learned to sleep next to me in our bed, we would just have friend or family memeber who was watching her, stay with her until she fell asleep-singing, softly rubing her back, etc. then barricade her in, as we would do if we weren't going to bed yet. She slept great!

Now, we have moved my DD toddler bed into our room and she starts the night in it then transfers to our bed once she starts waking and not falling back to sleep. We recently had my fatehr and step-mom watch her for a few hours, and they put her to sleep using our routine with no problems. Predictably DD woke up 1/2-1 hour after we arrived home.

Needless to say our DD sleeps really well for our family and friends, just not for us
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#16 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 08:19 PM
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Depends on the sitter. Normally 2.5 year old DD nurses to sleep for naps and bedtime. She spends naps alone, and starts out the night alone, but always comes tot the family bed after her first night waking. We have a regular caregiver who comes three days a week, and she is able to get DD down for naps and bedtime by giving her a bottle (up until 18 months it was mama milk, now it is cow's milk), and then rocking/bouncing her to sleep. Sometimes she goes to sleep even without the bouncing if she is tired enough. MIL and FIL, who watch DD once a week, just can't get DD to sleep with the same routine, partly because they provide so much stimulation (and they can't physically bounce a 28 pound kid to sleep anyway). For other evening sitters, we usually have her stay up until we get home around 9 or 10 and put her to bed then. She's a night owl anyway, so it's not too far off from her normal bedtime.

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#17 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 01:23 AM
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Originally Posted by snoopy5386 View Post
we always went out during the afternoon instead. Works much better for our family.
This is exactly what we do, too (well, the one time we've been on a date in the last two years, ha!).

When my 2yo wakes up from his nap, we leave and generally have a good 5 or 6 hours to see a movie and get some dinner or whatever.

I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but it was great for us.

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#18 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 01:24 AM
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The last time I had a sitter was when DS was 4 months old and DH and I had to go to a ball. My mom watched him and she just gave him a bottle and held him while he slept. Now he's at the age where he can be put in bed, kissed good night, and he'll go to sleep (most nights, the last few nights have been off) so it's not too much of an issue. We have another ball to go to in the spring and I'm hoping my IL's can watch them, if so I'll probably just recommend having them do the bedtime routine and keep DS up a little later, then just put him to bed. DD gets rocked to sleep, so they either have the choice of rocking and holding her or rocking her and laying her down. I'd say you could either ask the sitter to lay down with her with a sippy of milk or just keep her up if you don't plan to be out really late. Or maybe even have her lay on the couch with a sippy if she'll fall asleep that way?

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