When does child want to sleep on their own? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-01-2010, 07:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,

I have a two year old and he has slept with me since Day 1. I absolutely love having him near at night and I know it deeply comforts him as well. I work full time and so he is at daycare all day, so nighttime is very bonding.

He has a bedtime routine and we go to bed at the same time. I am so wiped out between my work and my family life that by 9pm I am ready to pass out myself.

I wonder if I am causing him to be dependent on someone going to bed with him every night and someone always being there when he wakes up. Do kids eventually naturally want to go to their own beds and sleep by themselves? If so, what age does this typically happen? I know the age will vary by individuals, but I am just curious. DH isnt as thrilled with co-sleeping as I am and sometimes he makes me feel as if I doing something wrong.

Thanks for the input.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-01-2010, 09:36 PM
 
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Well.....my son is 3y3m. He still goes to sleep with me at night....unless he happens to fall asleep on the couch (very rare). That being said he slept well at my parents for his irst sleepover....but again he wasn't alone (his 2 cousins were with him).....well....I guess one day I will hopefully find him be able to sleep in his own bed on his own. Until then I will enjoy the cuddle.

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#3 of 10 Old 03-01-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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Ds was 4 and dd was 1.5. We treated them the same at bedtime but dd has always been more independent. Ds needed a ton of encouragement and a reward chart, dd just went for it on her own.

I figure no matter what they will eventually want space from mom. I can't see my teenage son wanting mommy to rub his back and snuggle him to sleep! There will come a day when my bed is empty and I am in no hurry to get there. I will miss the sleepy snuggles and the toddler feet in my face

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#4 of 10 Old 03-01-2010, 10:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by StrawberryFields View Post
I figure no matter what they will eventually want space from mom. I can't see my teenage son wanting mommy to rub his back and snuggle him to sleep! There will come a day when my bed is empty and I am in no hurry to get there. I will miss the sleepy snuggles and the toddler feet in my face
All of that!

My DD was 3.5 when she chose to move to her own bed, still in our room. At 4.5 she chose to move to her own room (we moved to a new house and she was very excited about having her own room).

DS started sleeping in his own room around age 4.5, but still sometimes sleeps in our room at almost 6.

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#5 of 10 Old 03-01-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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My daughter is 5 and has absolutely no interest in sleeping in her own room.She says her husband and kids are going to sleep with me too.Somehow I don't think I'll be that lucky.

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#6 of 10 Old 03-02-2010, 12:12 PM
 
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My 4.5 y/o DD has no interest in her own bed. She's vaguely interested in her own room but not enough to ask me more one question. That's fine with DH and me. She has no sleep issues and she's a joy to cuddle with.
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#7 of 10 Old 03-02-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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My daughter is 6.5 and we all share a room and sometimes a bed (we all play "musical beds" and rotate between the queen and the twin). While I'm sure I could have nudged her to her own room years ago with no trauma we really haven't been interested in doing so. All three of us enjoy sharing our sleeping space so much and m husband and I don't intend to change it until she decided that she wants her own sleeping space.

Now, one thing I have insisted on from age 2.5 or so is that she go to bed first without us. I really wanted her to learn that it is possible to go to sleep without one of us there. Our routine is that we read a book, then do song, snuggles, and conversation in bed, and then my husband and I go out to the living room. That way I am not confined by an early bedtime, and her sleep schedule isn't reliant on me being there with her in bed. It works great!
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#8 of 10 Old 03-02-2010, 08:41 PM
 
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Hello!

I'm wondering the same thing....my DS is 2.4 and sleeps with me and DH is in another room. 4 year old DD slept in her own bed since age 15 months....strange, 2 kids from same family, completely different needs. I'm hoping and thinking when we move this summer that we can set up his own room, etc and that might be more motivating. I don't really mind sleeping with him, but also worried about him "needing" me to fall and stay asleep!
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#9 of 10 Old 03-03-2010, 04:17 AM
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My DD decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed in her room 5 days after turning 4. She was still nursing to sleep until she weaned herself 2 months earlier. She has no sleep issues at all. It took me a few weeks to get used to the changes.
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#10 of 10 Old 03-03-2010, 06:24 AM
 
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My DD fired me from co-sleeping about two months ago. After years of my suggesting that perhaps she would like to sleep on her own, and her firm resistance, all of a sudden one night she informed me "OK mom, you can sleep downstairs now." She was 5 1/3 at the time. I believe it was associated with a plan to play in her room at all hours ... but of course with that incredible sleeping talent of the fairly young, she conks out pretty quickly most nights.

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