Is it still CIO if... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 03-21-2010, 04:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I am wondering if it is still considered CIO if my 7 week old CIO's in my arms? I am not being facetious, genuinely wondering. Last night he screamed in my arms from about 2am till 330am, I rocked him and spoke calmly to him, made shushing noises nothing worked and he eventually fell asleep. He refused to nurse as well... He did not seem gassy, he'd had a big poop after he nursed and a nice burp as well, the crying started when we got out of bed to change his diaper.

Going to start taking probiotics again and watch what I eat. I felt so bad for the little guy!
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#2 of 18 Old 03-21-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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No. CIO is when you are trying to "teach" a baby how to sleep by leaving them to pass out from exhaustion by crying.

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#3 of 18 Old 03-21-2010, 05:03 PM
 
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Sometimes babies cry and despite your best efforts to fix the issue, they will just cry, and cry, and cry. My first was like that. He would scream himself hoarse for many MANY hours a day (and night). It wasn't crying it out in the least.

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#4 of 18 Old 03-21-2010, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He barely cries during the day though, so I am worried that I am doing something wrong at night. We co-sleep and nurse on demand.
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#5 of 18 Old 03-21-2010, 07:09 PM
 
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Was it dark and cozy and warm in bed?

Do you think that maybe lights/cold/change startles him, and the continued stimulation is frightening?

But, no, babies cry sometimes. That wasn't CIO. You weren't leaving him to it with no comfort, or attempting to make him give up his own NEEDS and do what you WANTed.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#6 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 01:22 AM
 
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My usually very happy 11 week old DS has done it from time to time. He was like that yesterday night and this afternoon. Now he is fine and the spell is over. It usually starts during a nap, as if something interrupts it and then he is grumpy and tired and yet cannot fall asleep. He usually finally falls asleep (we carry, bounce and try to calm him) and then things are fine. It's trying though - it is so hard to watch your LO be upset.

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#7 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 04:03 AM
 
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If you're holding baby and soothing however you can, that's not CIO. You're doing everything in your power to help your little one. Seven weeks is still very, very little. I remember DH and I taking turns with DD for the first few months during the night to soothe her. As you did, we first checked if she needed to nurse, diaper change, gas, etc. I always felt like it was just so hard for her to get used to being on the outside, kwim? In fact, our saying was "it's sooo hard to be a baby" because it truly seemed so hard for her.

All I can say is keep trying rocking, swaying, swinging her in your arms, whatever works. Sometimes what works once won't work the next time and you have to try something different. I spent a lot of time holding dd and bouncing on my birth ball- she liked that one for quite a while.

Remind yourself that you're are still firmly in the newborn stage and it IS very hard and very exhausting, but so worth it and they grow and change so quickly and you'll be onto the next stage before you know it. For the rest of my life I'll never forget the night moments when it was just me and dd.

Anna wife to Phil & sahm to Iris (5/08) "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." - Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945), radio address, October 26, 1939
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#8 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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I agree with the other posters. Each of my children have done this a few times between 1-3 months old. If you know they are not hungry, they have no desire to comfort nurse, they have a clean diaper and are not sick then just holding them and loving them is all you can do. With my third child I remember holding him and kissing on him at around 6 weeks old while he cried and it made me think of the times that I cried while my husband held me because there was nothing else he could do for me at the time. That holding and kissing was very important to me and I am sure it is for our little ones as well.
You sound like you did a good job momma. Definitely NOT CIO.

Loved wife to JT and grateful mother to M (dd age 13) L (dd age 10) T (ds age 6) A (ds age 4) E (dd age 2) and C & S (twin boys born 10/13/10)
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#9 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last night was much better! No crying but quite a few wake ups after an initial 5 hour sleep. I know we will have more scream fests, but they break my heart. I put him on a wedge to keep him elevated a bit so he could burp easily I think that helped, I heard a few burps and toots through the night that normally would have woken him.

Thanks for the support! I am needing it with ds2, I don't know if it s because I am older this time around but nights just seem so much harder.
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#10 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 03:02 PM
 
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Not CIO - don't feel guilty!! But, can you avoid getting up to do diaper changes? If you can, change him in bed with no lights (or just a night light), or don't change him at all at night. I always found that woke my baby up completely, and so we stopped doing it, and he would fall back to sleep much easier!
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#11 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am thinking about doing in bed diaper changes, I have trouble leaving poop, if it just pee then I won't change him. We already dealt with a yeasty diaper rash and I really don't want to go through that again.
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#12 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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I am sorry MM. That must be hard!
As for the diaper changes I agree: as low key as possible (in bed, low lights, etc.). Pretty soon it will get easier. I think my kids were about 2-3 months old when they stopped pooping at night.
If it gets really rough two things seemed to help:
warm bath for mom and baby (skin contact and the warm water seemed to help sometime)
or
taking the baby outside
Hope it gets better for you two soon!
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#13 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KBinSATX View Post
taking the baby outside
Oh! I had forgotten about this one. That is fantastic advice. My fourth child was the only one that was born during a time of the year where I could actually do this but man did it work! I would take him out on the porch and swing or rock for a little bit and he would be asleep in no time.

Loved wife to JT and grateful mother to M (dd age 13) L (dd age 10) T (ds age 6) A (ds age 4) E (dd age 2) and C & S (twin boys born 10/13/10)
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#14 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I like the outside idea, and it is not all that cold out at night now either. Thanks I will try that next time!
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#15 of 18 Old 03-22-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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When DS was just born, I would use one of those low-watt push lights for diaper changes. Just enough light to see if there was poop or not.
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#16 of 18 Old 03-23-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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CIO means leaving your baby to fend for himself and cry alone. If you are comforting him, then NO, it isn't CIO. If you're doing all you can and you are there for him, then that is the best that can be done. Sometimes, unfortunately, babies will be uncomfortable and cry no matter what we do. Good luck!
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#17 of 18 Old 03-23-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirrormonkey View Post
I am thinking about doing in bed diaper changes, I have trouble leaving poop, if it just pee then I won't change him. We already dealt with a yeasty diaper rash and I really don't want to go through that again.
That's what we did too--no changes for pee, only for poo. And I forget when he stopped pooping at night, but that was a glorious thing. It really helped us get through the nights a lot easier.

And no, to agree with the other commenters, it's not CIO if your babe is crying in your arms. Here's what Dr. Sears has to say by way of explanation:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp#T051205

Hang in there, mama! 7 weeks is still so very little and things will change before you know it.

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#18 of 18 Old 03-24-2010, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We have had two great nights in a row, I have been walking him until he falls asleep or rocking him in bed, we get 4-6 hours then he is up hourly... arg. But between going outside, not doing diaper changes unless needed and starting a bedtime routine it seems a bit better. I realize it is still early days, but these last two nights have made me feel human again!

I love this board for all the support and great ideas!
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