I work part time and cosleeping has been a way to spend time with DD and feel connected. I don't see anything wrong with it and DH and I both quite enjoy being able to check on DD without getting up.
We recently asked our Health Visitor for advice to make sure there was no medical reason for DD waking so often (because she'd been ill recently) and instead, she keeps insisting we need to move DD to her own room and that we're creating problems by continuing to cosleep.
I refuse to let her CIO, and I don't think DD is quite ready to sleep in her own room just yet. Possibly in the summer or fall when she is nearer 2yo. I try to be an attached and connected mum - we still use the sling on occasion and BF (although not as much as we used to) and spend lots of time snuggling.
I'm so frustrated that cosleeping seems to be such an issue when DD is still so young! Why am I being made to feel like a failure when she is obviously a healthy, confident, well cared for LO?
It's the whole 'need to force early independance' belief coming in, and research if people read it shows exactly the opposite. Well attached babies and toddlers are MORE independant later.
Keep up the great work!
I'm cosleeping too with my 3 month old (and have since birth) and LOVE it. She's so cute. I watch her for hours in the night sometimes.
I've had some good advice on here not to discuss parenting issues (i.e. where to sleep) with medical professionals.
FWIW, two doctors we have been to both co-slept with their children.
: 01/10/2009 and 09/29/2011
Waking frequently to nurse doesn't seem unusual or problematic to me, but dd is still next to me all night so there isn't any fuss.
sapphire_chan, I only asked the HV about DD's waking in the night to make sure there wasn't a developmental or medical reason why she might be waking because she'd had a few back to back stomach bugs and viruses and I just wanted to make sure she had recovered because we'd had a hard time shifting them.
To be honest, the only reason we stopped in at the Health Visitor's was because the last time we had to bring DD to the GP's office he was rather terse with us and said that he couldn't just take our word for it that she'd lost a bit of weight because we hadn't been taking her regularly to the health visitor to be weighed. I had been under the impression that if she was healthy there was no need for us to take her in, so I hadn't been in in a few months.
I weigh her regularly enough at home and we all know that when you cuddle and carry your LO all the time you'll quickly notice even a small drop in weight. Because of what he said, we brought DD in just to touch base and have her weighed and decided to mention her night waking because she'd recently been waking more often than usual.
Everything is fine now - she's gone back to waking the usual once or twice and she's over all the stomach bugs that were bothering her before and put the weight back on.
I don't mind waking up with DD - I don't even have to budge because her bed is right against ours and if she needs a cuddle she'll usually scoot over and snuggle up. Sometimes she just wants to make sure we're still there and rubbing her back for a minute will quickly soothe her back to sleep. I totally don't mind the midnight snuggles, they're lovely. It infuriates me to hear the HV describe DD as 'manipulative' when she's trying to communicate her needs.
Today at breastfeeding group I met another mama who is cosleeping with her 27 month old son and we had a good moan about health visitors and the like. That, combined with all your replies has made me feel a lot better, so thank you
Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010
I wonder how often your doctor thinks you should be getting your DD weighed? I've take DD once in the past six months (she's 18 months) but that was only to check accurately if she was big enough to move into a Stage 1 carseat, I don't see the point of keeping on going if they're healthy and happy.
In regards to co-sleeping, we do! It makes sense. Just today, I was thinking back on what an acquaintance said about her daughter, as she was trying to convince us that DS should sleep alone. She said that her daughter would cry herself to sleep every night and that that was the way she soothed herself. I didn't say anything much at the time, but thought that I could never do that. To us, co-sleeping is a healthy thing to do.
Book lover - Sewer - Movie lover - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) - Aspiring writer - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick
I agree to keep your parenting choice to yourself I feel like Drs. try to tell you how to do everything when in reality they should only be giving medical advise. I have a friend with a 2m and her Dr told her the baby shouldn't nurse to sleep, she called me in a panic and I told her to tell that to my DD2 who can almost only fall asleep nursing.
It sounds like you are doing a great job, I say keep up the great work and try and not let the HV get to you.
~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.
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