So i'm torn but i want my son to sleep with ME and my husband to sleep in another bed.
Have any of you moms or dads gone though this? How to deal?
If you husband needs to sleep in the other room for your comfort, then you need to find ways to re-connect. You can put blankets on the floor and hang out, or you can go hang out with him in the other room with a baby monitor.
Your baby is still very young. He's old enough to benefit from being in a sidecar. He'll sleep better and you may sleep better. (assuming that baby doesn't have to sleep right up next to you like one of mine did.) Both of my older 2 have been much better sleepers once I put them there. Put them into the sidecrib and pat them to sleep.You need to make ways to reconnect with your husband and make this whole parenting thing a wonderful journey together. Let your husband put the baby to sleep from time to time so that you can relax. That'll help him bond and help you feel more like a team with him.
Also, remember that after having a baby, the "act" often comes before the desire. That's certainly been true for me and other mothers I've talked to about this.
Lots of moms have been there. It's normal.
Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will. If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk New User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement
If it was me, I would tell my dh that I loved him very much and want to share our nights as a family but that his snoring makes it difficult for me to fall asleep. I would then ask him to help me figure out what exactly is causing the snoring and what we might do to rectify the situation. I would also try to have special time with my husband to make certain he felt loved. It isn't necessary to leave your baby to do that - back rubs, cuddling, hugs and kisses throughout the day, etc.
Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).
About the husband getting the boot, well it is really normal. Mike knew he was getting the boot and has taken it well. He understands that my children's needs to come before his wants for a while... they even come before my wants for a while... this time passes by too fast and you will have ample time together after the kids get older.
trottin', pole dancing, Norway and Sweden lovin' , ,WOHM Kiddos born 12/11/06 and 08/09/08
with #3 EDD:01/2013 So in love with my sweet Swede and my bonus-son 10/25/98
He has slept on the couch for about a year. At first it was b/c Nora was waking up a ton at night, then it was b/c we just couldn't figure out how to all fit comfortably in a queen -- and then after all THAT calmed down, his snoring was just too, too much.
I say send him to an ENT and have him checked out, and follow up w/a sleep study.
That aside, your DH is a grown up, and your son is 6 months old. Your son, at least in my opinion, DOES come first. To you, at least. I mean, sure, I too hate that my DH feels a bit lonely when he isn't sleeping in the room with us, but he's an adult and knows what to do with those feelings. I would feel worse putting a 6 month old (or younger) baby in a room by him/herself, alone and lonely.
Make time for you and your DH. Go out on dates, kiss, make love. Laugh together. Nurture your relationship during the day so that if you guys HAVE to be apart at night, he knows it's just for practical sleep related issues, and doesn't start to feel like you are "choosing" your son over him.
A great book to read is Love in the Time of Colic -- it's really good in helping you learn how to reconnect w/your partner (and even have sex again) after having a baby.
Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn ('08) and Finnley Dax ('11) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!
Well, we considered the sidecar thing but the way the crib is built, we can't do it. The only way to cosleep is to have my son in the same bed really. And i tend to side with the notion that my husband needs to suck it up, think about just how exhausted i get when he's in the bedroom, and leave to another room!
Aside from this night time issue, we're fantastic with each other and he knows how much i love him.
But i think i'm additionally so angry about this issue because i think deep down he really believes that the baby now belongs in the crib. Urgh, the idea just pisses me right off. He doesn't wanna sleep alone, so why the hell does it seem ok for a 6month old to?
I need sleep...