Is it normal for 9 month old to cry before naps and bedtime? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-30-2010, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
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Another post about sleep troubles
So my DD is almost 9 months. We cosleep but she usually spends the first 3 hours of her night in her crib while DH and I are still up enjoying some free time. DH usually rocks her to sleep and every night she cries as this happens. WHen she is fully asleep he puts her in the crib.

During the day she usually takes one nap in the stroller where she doesn;t cry but just falls asleep. The other nap I take with her. I have found that she sleeps best if I just cuddle up with her in bed. However she still cries before this nap. I would nurse her to sleep but it no longer works. I usually just hold her while she cries. I feel awful but I know she needs to sleep.

I often feel like she cries MORE because of my deciding not to do CIO. I mean she cries every time before a nap. I don't know why. Has anyone experienced this? What do think? What did you do? Thanks!!!
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#2 of 11 Old 04-30-2010, 03:38 PM
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I really really like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. We've been using some of his suggestions since our guy was about 6 weeks old (the suggestions change as the baby ages) and they have worked for us! Check out the book!!

Birthed a beautiful baby boy, Ethan, 11/11/09.
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#3 of 11 Old 04-30-2010, 04:27 PM
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Ask moxie wrote a piece on babies who need to cry before sleeping to release tension; I wonder if that's your LO.
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#4 of 11 Old 05-01-2010, 01:08 AM
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My 11 mo DS has always done that. And now that he is more active and crawling around, he'll even be very active within even seconds of falling asleep, as if his battery ran out right in the middle of whatever he was doing. He will also let out a sometimes very loud cry/yell/moan right before finally falling asleep.

He used to cry a lot and it wasn't until he was 4 mo old that I cracked the code and realized that he only cried when he was overtired. It took me that long to figure it out!

Perfectly "normal" for babies....
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#5 of 11 Old 05-02-2010, 10:45 PM
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My son cried just about every time he goes to sleep (in arm crying.) I think its stress\tension release. take a look at this author. She write about it a lot.
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#6 of 11 Old 05-03-2010, 03:19 PM
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My 11mo DD has been doing the same thing for the past 2-3 months. I nurse her until she's quite relaxed then she usually unlatches on her own and we snuggle in bed until she falls asleep for naps and bedtime. She always cries 1-5 minutes while we lay there together. I've tried putting her to sleep earlier and later, snuggling in tight, giving her lots of space, leaving the room for a minute, singing, being quiet, rocking, walking- pretty much everything I can think of and she always cries. I think it's that she's a very active baby and she feels frustrated that she feels tired but also wants to play and explore and it takes a little crying to work through this frustration and then let go and fall asleep. So I wouldn't worry that you are doing anything wrong.
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#7 of 11 Old 05-04-2010, 04:51 PM
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DD just started doing this, she SCREAMS and WAILS when she falls asleep. i chalk it up to teething at this point and just try to rock her and talk to her while she falls asleep. some nights it's tougher than others, but give yourself props for being able to put yours in their own crib! we're still not there with DD!!

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#8 of 11 Old 05-04-2010, 08:24 PM
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my DS did this the first 9-10 months of his life. He just did. not. want. to. sleep. no matter HOW tired he was. Some babies just need to release tension before they sleep. It got better once he started walking and wearing himself out more. He sleeps SO much better now, and goes to sleep without crying at all.

I would stay away from Healthy Sleep Habits, it strongly advocates CIO. Instead, I would read Sleepless in America. It has all of the sleep research, as well as different things you can do during the day to help maximize nighttime sleep. It is geared towards AP parenting and against CIO.

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#9 of 11 Old 05-04-2010, 09:00 PM
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My baby did this at different times and I really hated having to hold him while he cried. Made us both miserable. So I did start teaching him how to sleep (without CIO) earlier than I would have if he was a baby who fell asleep peacefully.

I followed advice in the No Cry Sleep Solution, and Dr Jay Gordon's nightweaning, but not until 12 months. And actually transitioning from co-sleeping side-carring to a crib right next to our bed (but now with the side up) and slooooooowly teaching him to fall asleep without me was what did the trick. I can elaborate if you want on our process.
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#10 of 11 Old 05-04-2010, 09:28 PM
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What worked for us for some naps was to distract her. I'd put DD in the Ergo-- she is comfy in it and knows she can relax. We have fun, dance, and I kiss her head a lot while babywearing, so she doesn't cry much. Then I'd vacuum. Like, sometimes the whole house. With music on in the background. And I'd exaggerate my swipes with the vacuum to rock her gently, all the while kissing her head, rubbing her back, etc. She'd just stare at the vacuum, eventually put her head down, and when I'd walk by a mirror, I'd see that her eyes were closed. Over time, we figured out how to gently unhook the Ergo and lay her in the swing (and turn it on) or eventually onto our bed.

If the stroller nap works for you, maybe babywearing/wearing her down would, too. Occasionally it also worked for us to bring the swing out where I was folding laundry, doing something active that she could watch, put on a Bob Marley CD (somewhat loudly) in the background, and she'd fall asleep from watching and listening. We had to try a hundred things, and change it up all the time. Now, at almost 11 months, it's gotten gradually more consistent. (We nurse to sleep almost always now rocking in the recliner, and it takes about 10-15 mins until I can move her, lay her down, and sneak away.)

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#11 of 11 Old 05-04-2010, 10:20 PM
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One of my boys did this and the other didn't. For him I think it was just that he needed that release. At some point he did stop--I don't remember how old but in babyhood. He's an intense little kid with lots of strong feelings and I think this was just part of that personality.

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