Need advice on peacefully ending our family bed - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 05-23-2010, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a mother of an 18 little girl who loves her "nene" (milk) mama and dada. But her dad and I would both like to see her sleeping in another bed. We currently sleep on a futon and dd is getting big and we are running out of space. We live with my inlaws and theres a room upstairs next to their bedroom for dd eventually, but I'm hesistant to put her on a separate floor for many reasons. How Can I do this without CIO? We have a crib, pack and play, and a sheepskin for her. She's a great sleeper, we just feel it's time. I'm ok with her in the room for a while anyway, just not in the same bed.
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#2 of 9 Old 05-24-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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Perhaps you can put the bed that you want her to sleep in close to yours, right up against your bed. That way, she can sleep in her bed and still be close to you and you can reach over to her if need be. Eventually, you can move her bed further and further away from you. Just a thought...

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#3 of 9 Old 05-25-2010, 03:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jerlin View Post
Perhaps you can put the bed that you want her to sleep in close to yours, right up against your bed. That way, she can sleep in her bed and still be close to you and you can reach over to her if need be. Eventually, you can move her bed further and further away from you. Just a thought...


That's what we did for my son while I was pregnant. We got a small futon chair (slightly smaller than twin) and pushed it up to our queen bed. He could climb into bed with us if he needed it, but we made a big deal about it being a special bed just for him. When he got to the point where he was able to stay in it all night most nights, we pushed it a few feet away, against the wall. We were remodelling our house at the time, so he didn't get his own room until we moved, when he was about 2 1/2 and his sister was 6 months old. Now she's 15 months old and we're "weaning" her from our bed to the futon in the same way. But DS still wakes up at night (at 3 1/2 yo) while DD pretty much sleeps through the night unless she's teething, so DH often spends the night with DS in his room. Some kids just take longer than others.

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#4 of 9 Old 05-25-2010, 05:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jerlin View Post
Perhaps you can put the bed that you want her to sleep in close to yours, right up against your bed. That way, she can sleep in her bed and still be close to you and you can reach over to her if need be. Eventually, you can move her bed further and further away from you. Just a thought...
Thirding An 18 month old nursling may really need to be nearby for a while longer.

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#5 of 9 Old 05-26-2010, 11:28 PM
 
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#6 of 9 Old 05-26-2010, 11:42 PM
 
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We found moving ds to his own bed (& in our case his own room) went really smoothly because it was an actual bed. I can lie with him & nurse him & then slide out & let him sleep. With a crib or pack & play there was always the trouble of trying to lay him down without waking him (he is not yet able to go to sleep on his own).

So, yes you can move her to her own bed without cio.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#7 of 9 Old 05-27-2010, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ty for not being judgemental of our decision... Dh has scoliosis and scru ching up against the wall has really been negatively affecting him. Right now I'm trying to nurse dd anywhere but the bed and put her for naps on the floor next to our bed on her special sheep skin. Seems to be going ok so far. I'm not interested in rushing anything, but I feel like our current situation no longer works for the family as a whole.
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#8 of 9 Old 05-28-2010, 12:13 AM
 
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Would a baby monitor reach your room from hers when she is up there? You can hear her wake up and get to her before she is frantic. It will certainly disturb your sleep more to have to run up for nene all night (oh boy do I know!) When I realized cosleeping and night nursing were no longer working (I've weaned four kids so far and have a 6wo now) I went cold turkey and amazingly enough, my toddlers started sleeping through the night! It was like my irritation was the sign that it was time to move on...
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#9 of 9 Old 05-28-2010, 05:44 AM
 
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Have you considered having DH sleep in another bed and for you and DD to sleep together in a bed? You could also consider laying down with DD to get her to sleep at night, then sharing a bed with your DH for the first part of the night. The first or second (or whatever) time your DD needs to breastfeed, you just stay in her bed.

Just some thoughts!

Mama to DS1 and DS2
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