do your older kids put themselves to bed? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My girls are 6yo and almost 4yo. They sleep in the same room but in seperate beds. We have our nighttime routine every night, followed by me sitting on one of their beds for about 4o minutes while they fall asleep. I feel like it would be really nice if they fell asleep on their own! I have tried letting them put themselves to bed. That always ends with them really winding themselves up and bouncing around their room, and me coming in 45 minutes later and having to sit with them. I have tried slowly moving further and further out of their room every night. That didn't work either. Some nights they give me a really hard time; they keep talking or making noises or singing or yelling or trying to get out of bed. Some nights it is worse then others. I just thought by this age they would be able to put themselves to bed, kwim? We are thinking of having another baby, but how would i put them to bed by myself with a newborn?
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#2 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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Nope, none of my 3 put themselves to bed (6 1/2, 3, and 17 months). The older two can change into their PJs, but they still need an adult to help with teeth brushing. They also want bedtime stories.

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#3 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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my 11 year old does. ds2 does not. we tell him to get in the shower 30 mins before bed. he puts on his jammies and brings his toth brush to us then we do a story.
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#4 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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if you can i would put them to bed at different times or in different rooms. also i would have your dh put them to bed
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#5 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 02:46 PM
 
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Yes all of mine do. Keep in mind my youngest is 7. But he has been going to bed on his own since he weaned. Actually all of mine did. They take showers, get into jammies and get in the bed and I go to all of the rooms and "tuck them in" talk for a minute, get hugs and kisses and then I am out.
On the wekends I will let them watch a movie and some nights in the summer when they don't have to get up super early.
On school nights I will let them listen to some calm music while they fall asleep. Maybe try a CD player or a radio see if that works.

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#6 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for replies. I will try the calm music. They used to put themselves to bed, about a year and a half ago. Then my dh started sitting with them while they fell asleep because he was sad he didn't egt to see them much. Ever since then, they expect it from me too. I think I have a tendency to put them in their beds a little too early, they might not be completely tired yet. But sometimes it just seems like a power struggle. Even if they are tired, their has to be a struggle for them to finally g to bed. I have to "get firm" with them almost every night for them to settle down and go to sleep. It is frustrating.
We do the whole routine; bath, drink, teeth, books, kisses, and then bed. But that doesn't seem to help.
Any other thoughts? Do your kids give you a hard time most nights at bedtime? I don't understand it.
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#7 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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No. 7 y/o ds can get ready for bed by himself but he always wants either a story, or me to lay with him and talk, or both. After I leave his room, he usually lays there for awhile longer and reads (with his nightlight on, not the big light) even though he's supposed to be sleeping. lol
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#8 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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My 9 and 5 year old are snuggled down every night. It's the sweetest part of the whole day.
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#9 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 05:56 PM
 
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My 4 and 2 year old share a room and they put themselves to sleep. We read a story, give them a kiss and leave. If they are particularly wound up they might talk and goof off and we might have to call up the stairs a couple times and tell them to knock it off.

My dd (2) has been putting herself to sleep since she was 1.5, but with my ds we had to use a reward chart when he was around 3.5 or something like that. We started by checking on him like every 5 minutes, reassuring him and coaching him that he could do it. He slept with his prize under his pillow and finally got to keep it after 5 nights of going to sleep on his own.

If they won't stop screwing around we let them know they will be separated, even if that means the 2 year old goes into the baby crib or the 4 year old on my bedroom floor. So far only once have I had to make good on that threat.

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#10 of 17 Old 06-24-2010, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Strawberry fields- Seperating them sounds good if they are messing around too much at bedtime, however, I can't be in two rooms at a time. The one whose room I am not in would for sure be messing around while I was with the other. My six year old has spurts of mature behavior, but a lot of the time, she is one who is giving me a hard t ime at bed time.

I put them to bed because dh is gone 4-5 nights a week.

Charts don't work too well for us either. I forget, the kids don't seem to care abou the rewards, and I end up threatening, "i will take this away if you don't stop x" all the time.

So do most peoples kids give them a hard time at bedtime? Probably seperate rooms is the best idea. DD1 is very jealous of dd2 and they fight often. I guess I just need to try it and see if that stops the battles. I just don't know how to do it logistically.
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#11 of 17 Old 06-25-2010, 01:42 AM
 
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Ds does not -- if I don't take him to bed, he will stay up and watch DVDs until 2 oe 3 am.

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#12 of 17 Old 06-28-2010, 12:24 PM
 
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My boys are 7 and 4, they also share a room and separate beds. They will stay up crazy late talking and playing if we put them down together. What works for us is tucking 4yo in with a book while 7yo is in his bath. By the time 7yo is bathed and brushed and jammied and tucked in with his book, 4yo is asleep and way less chatty.

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#13 of 17 Old 06-28-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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My two kids put themselves to sleep. They are 8 and 5 years old. 8 year old ds has been doing it since he was...3 and dd has been doing it since she was 4. I take no credit in it though...lol. It was all dh. He had taken over ds' bedtime when I was pregnant with dd in prep for me needing to be with the new baby. He would lay down with him and sing him to sleep ( I know...so sweet). Then gradually....VERY gradually, he started sitting in a chair next to him and holding his hand, and singing to him. And then he stopped holding his hand and just singing. Then he said he would sing two songs, leave, and come check on him, and repeat until when he came back, ds was asleep. Soon, it took just one check up and he was asleep. He did the same thing with dd, except no singing ( she would tell him, " No singing, daddy"...lol) I think it took several months to get from laying down to kissing goodnight and leaving but it happened and we are SO happy about it. It's just so nice. We still go "check" on them and they like that and find comfort in it.

Also, they are in separate rooms. I imagine they would have some goofing around if they were together. But maybe that's okay? Let them have 10 min. of "winding down" time, come "check" on them and tell them it's now time to rest? Or like a previous poster said, put them to bed at separate times? I might put one to bed in your bed, and then transfer them back to their bed after they fall asleep?

Good luck!!

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#14 of 17 Old 06-29-2010, 04:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kindmomma View Post
Yes all of mine do. Keep in mind my youngest is 7. But he has been going to bed on his own since he weaned. Actually all of mine did. They take showers, get into jammies and get in the bed and I go to all of the rooms and "tuck them in" talk for a minute, get hugs and kisses and then I am out.
On the wekends I will let them watch a movie and some nights in the summer when they don't have to get up super early.
On school nights I will let them listen to some calm music while they fall asleep. Maybe try a CD player or a radio see if that works.
This is exactly how it is at my house. (except for the baby) My older kids are different kinds of sleepers...DD9 needs me to sit and talk to her for a bit before I turn out her lights, whereas DS7 is ready to crash and can't stay away any longer and just wants to go to sleep LOL.

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#15 of 17 Old 06-29-2010, 05:09 AM
 
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All of mine do, but the girls just started recently, and AT (2) is a freak of nature and has always been a good sleeper despite his AP upbringing.

The girls I do the routine with them, then they go to sleep. I sometimes have to go and settle them down a couple of times, but they can put themselves to bed. The kids are 6,6,5 & 2.

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#16 of 17 Old 06-29-2010, 04:39 PM
 
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Both kids get themselves ready for bed on their own, but DH and I still spend time with each kid each night (we alternate parent/kid combo so everyone feels its "fair"). DS is 10 and just in the last year doesn't want cuddles anymore. He still enjoys being read to, but will then say its OK for us to leave before he's actually asleep (unless he wants to talk about something important). DD is 7 and still likes to be cuddled to sleep every night. So yes, my older kid does put himself to sleep, though not to bed, but he is much older than yours.
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#17 of 17 Old 06-30-2010, 01:00 AM
 
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you know for us - just dd and me - bedtime is the only time in the day we truly connect. and so for us bedtime is a special time.

so really i havent given my dd the opportunity to fall asleep on her own. but when i have my finals i ask her to go to bed on her own - she is almost 8 - and she does.

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