Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Clayton, NC
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Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).
DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).
Wow!! So much great help from everyone!! This is wonderful and will give DH and I some more ideas to go from.
I think our biggest stumbling block is consistency . DH has his regular job then is also starting a business and works during the night a lot. He is then tired and sleeps in. I work a couple days a week which then throws everything off for those days. But if DH is gone, then it becomes even harder for me to get them BOTH down-if I get DD down first, she will usually wake up in 30-45 minutes, and if DS isn't asleep yet, I would have to dash away from him to get DD, which then would just get DS all revved up again.
I definitely think some of the "high needs" is due to tiredness. There are also some sensory issues in there as well, at least for DS. And we definitely need to tighten the reins too! DH is much more likely to just "give in" than I am, although I am guilty too sometimes. When DS was still napping, I would come home from work and ask how the nap was and DH would say "He wouldn't sleep" I would ask how long he tried to get him to, adn it would end up that DH had ASKED DS if he was ready to nap and DS would say no, so DH wouldn't do anything more. DH also is terrible about starting to wrestle with DS at bedtime. I keep trying to tell him not to do that, but he won't listen and says "doesn't matter what we do, he won't sleep, so we might as well have some fun" (Wow, it sounds like I'm whining about DH a lot, but truly I have read the books and here on MDC and we discuss it but DH just won't stick with any plan for more than a couple days. It is SUPER frustrating and I feel like not only am I dealing with both kids' sleep issues but also having to fight with DH over it. It's exhausting)
Hmmm...not sure if the baths rev them up or not-I'll have to pay attention to that. Evening baths are my 15 minutes of break at night since DS doesn't nap and DD naps on me, plus they are both up as long as we are. We would have to do a total re-do of our day to put them anyplace else, but we will consider it.
In terms of the 9pm to 7am schedule we are working on-we would love for it to be 8pm-7am. But since it has been 10:30pm-7:30 am for the last several months now, we figured we'd start with this intermediate step and try to get better at that, then work toward the 8pm bedtime. Both kids and therefore I do better if we get out of the house every day/most days. Yesterday we had a party and had a great time, DS ran around all day. Then he fell asleep in the car for about 20-25 minutes at about 4:30. And then he would NOT go to sleep until 10:15 maybe a little later. It is hard for both DH and I (esp. DH) to commit to sticking super close to home for the next several weeks while we get this all straightened out, but I KNOW we have to at least try.
I did LOL at asking about 13 hours of sleep...I don't think he has EVER gotten that much-maybe as a tiny baby?? This is a child who at 2 weeks of age stayed awake for 10 hours straight (NOT what we wanted, we were trying everything we knew to get him to sleep-eyes would drift shut then POP open again) so this is a LONG term problem.
Ok, crap I have to leave for work-gonna be late! more later!!
DS1 (6) , DS2 (3) , DD is here!
I have no advice, but I wanted you to know I am reading along and cheering for you mine are a little younger than yours (ds is 2 and dd is 3mo), but I am planning my attack now for when they are a little bigger.
can you have together time with dh during the day on the weekends? get a sitter or something for a daytime date? and I really think getting him on board with your latest plan will be your biggest help. good luck and good vibes!