Just need to vent!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Why does it seem like my daughter's nighttime sleep determines if I am a good parent or not? Everyone wants to know how my 3 1/2 month old sleeps at night. When I tell them she sleeps poorly, everyone assumes I must be doing something horribly wrong? I need to get her on a schedule, she needs to sleep alone, you need to let her cry, etc. I don't even want to talk about it with anyone. I feel like I am under constant scrutiny, especially from mom's whose baby slept through the night at 5 minutes old! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#2 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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How frustrating! Can you lie or say something more ambiguous like, "Oh, she sleeps as well as can be expected!"?

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#3 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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"How is xyz sleeping?"

"Great, pass the bean dip."

totally no one's business what your definition of "great" is.

Your User Agreement here at MDC, read it and make it your friend and read the FAQ to answer all the questions of the (MDC) world.
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#4 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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NAK

Lol! Thanks. Just very frustrated! And tired!!
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#5 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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the majority of the people who had babies sleep through the night have terribly attached, formula fed babies. I used to tell people how long she would sleep and not say how many times during that she would wake up to eat. people act like sleeping through the night is some major milestone in infant development, but it isn't. It's something that should happen naturally in its own time. and a 3.5 month old is still too young to go very long without eating, so shouldn't be sleeping through the night yet.

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#6 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies. I agree about sleeping through the night not being a milestone (although I could use the sleep). My daughter is super attached to me, and I love it! It's just hard cause my whole family formula feeds and suggests all the time that I give her formula or cereal so she will sleep longer. My gram even suggested cutting out her nighttime feedings and let her cry through them. I thought she was joking at first, but she said she did it with all her kids . I guess I just need to be more vague with my family. They don't understand me anyways! They insist they can't understand my "hippie ways." LOL!!!
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#7 of 9 Old 09-29-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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I know!!!! People look at you like you're a freak! I hate lying about it, though. I keep thinking the person asking about DD's sleep habits may be having troubles of their own, and need someone to talk to. Plus I wish mothers would be honest about their babies' sleep habits so we can put the "most babies STTN" myth to rest once and for all. Usually, though, people just look at me like I'm a freak.

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#8 of 9 Old 09-30-2010, 08:28 AM
 
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it is really frustrating. I just used to say my DS was a terrible sleeper but we're looking into some possibilities (he had reflux and food intolerance issues) and that seemed good enough for people.. even hardcore CIO'ers thought it was too cruel to let a baby in pain CIO.

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#9 of 9 Old 09-30-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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Yeah, that question is basically an excuse for people to give you unsolicited advice that is usually bad and stupid. You're probably best off if you just say, "Oh, she does fine," and then segue into some other topic.

The good news is that eventually they will stop asking because they will just assume she's STTN. I think we stopped getting that question around 6-8 months of age, which was a relief.

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