2nd Q - Does co-sleeping = co-napping? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-21-2010, 12:59 AM - Thread Starter
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No one in my family has co-slept longer than a couple weeks so I'm the odd one out. My sister used a CIO method with her first at 6 months which was torturous for me, then with her second at 8-10 weeks (I can't remember). We are co-sleeping with our 3mo son and loving it and no plans of changing this arrangement....the problem (maybe not a problem) is that he won't nap unless he's in my arms (or husband or grandma). Thank goodness that I get to be home with him so I can do this.

When I try to lay him down he will be "limp limbed" and into his deep sleep (or so I think) and within seconds (a few times we've gotten to 15 minutes) he's somehow startled and wide-eyed. I pick him up and back to sleep.

Any one else have this with their lo's? I don't mind at all but just wondering if we are abnormal
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#2 of 8 Old 10-21-2010, 01:31 AM
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Hurray for cosleeping with your son! I am also the only one in the family who cosleeps, nursing beyond 12 months, etc, and loving it. My SIL had her DD CIO to train her to sleep in her crib and DD cried so much that she fell out(? off?) of it somehow at 6 months. Very heartbreaking.

I am no expert in childrearing since I only have one child. However, your son sounds exactly like my DD at that age. She could be deep asleep, and as soon as I put her down in her crib, she woke up. After a while, I got so tired of repeating it over and over (since I also had to nurse her again), and I needed sleep. Luckily, my DH had more time to stay home to hold her while she slept. We did that until DD was 5 months when I finally decided to just nurse her in bed and start cosleeping. She is still not the best sleeper. Often times, I cannot get out of bed because she wakes up if I don't choose the right timing. But cosleeping and nursing in bed were the best decisions I have made. She loves being close to me and I feel better knowing that I can give her what she needs right away.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-21-2010, 02:58 AM
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Way to go, mama! It can be tough to swim upstream!
My DD's sleep cycles weren't mature enough for her to be put down until 4-5months old. At some point, she became easily startled while in my arms, so I started laying her down for one short nap a day - which grew to eventually be every nap and for longer periods. She's 8 mo old now and naps much better alone or with a little rock/cuddle/nurse back to sleep if she gets woken up too soon. Nights are still fun cuddle times, though :0)
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#4 of 8 Old 10-21-2010, 03:25 AM
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I had this happen too, if I tried to put DD down in her crib or bassinet.

Soooo... I wound up swaddling her and putting her down for naps in a laundry basket 3/4 full of soft clothes/towels. Note that I put her on her back, the clothes were packed down enough that they couldn't get in her face, and I stayed nearby and checked on her every few minutes or more. The reason this worked, I think, is that the crib was flat and cold, whereas the clothes in the basket conformed to her body and were softer/warmer feeling.

If you can't keep that close of an eye on your child while your DS sleeps, I think I'd try putting a fleece throw or something similar over the sheet and tucking it in like a flat sheet so that the bed doesn't feel as cold. Also using a swaddling blanket might help.

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#5 of 8 Old 10-22-2010, 12:01 AM
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At that age my DW just napped with our DD. Sometimes she didn't nap and just took the time to relax or read. She felt that she should be doing something (housework, cooking, etc) during nap time...but really, what is more important than a well rested and relaxed mama?
I say nap with him. Or just turn off the lights, put on soft music, close your eyes and relax.

Even now, at 15 months, if we want our DD to have a longer nap we will nap with her. She likes when someone is there or a hand patting her bum. And we can get her back to sleep if she wakes too early. But for the main part, she eventually learned to nap alone. Probably around 6 months or so.

Me 40 eat.gif. Partner to mamacolleen 33 superhero.gif. DD born July 2009 blahblah.gif. Twin boys born Nov 2012.

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#6 of 8 Old 10-22-2010, 01:26 AM
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I lie down on the bed with the kids and once they fall asleep I get up. At first you generally have to inch slowly away but after a while they get used to you getting up.

I nap when DS2 does because I'm tired from being woken all night but also because I love naps!

It's complicated.
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#7 of 8 Old 10-22-2010, 02:52 AM
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I've never been able to lay DD down asleep. I finally had to start nursing her laying down and sneak off. But oh, you make me miss those lap naps! Grab a book or remote or laptop and enjoy them!! I think you just set off baby fever in me.

mom to DD 3/09
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#8 of 8 Old 10-25-2010, 12:46 AM
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You are not at all "abnormal"! My DD was exactly the same way - and still is now at 14 mos. I can nurse/bounce to the limp-limb stage, and no matter what I put her down on (soft blankets, something that smells like me, our bed, etc), she is up within 10 minutes, max. She will not nurse to sleep simply laying down, even, so she still takes her 2 naps in either a ring sling or Ergo.

I should tell you I was a nanny for several years, helped several families through various CIO programs and thought this was the norm and what I would do one day with my own babe. When my amazing but high needs DD arrived I realized I could never do that, and I am so glad I have listened to my instincts!! So stick to what your gut tells you as well! And like the pp have said - you will never ultimately regret this time spent with your sleeping babe; maybe you are not "getting things done", but really, the time that they are teeny passes so quickly. You will never look back and be sorry to have taken this approach.
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