Should I comment on a friend's facebook? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Part of her status is "sleep training resumed w a bang around here last night."

Her DD is 2.5 y.o. whether or not you disagree with it, don't you think that it is totally inappropriate for a toddler?

I guess I should probably just keep my mouth shut.

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#2 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:22 PM
 
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I probably would comment, but I also know that I probably *shouldn't*. People tend to react badly to criticism of their parenting.
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#3 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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I wouldn't comment. But I wouldn't "like" her status either. She parents differently than you, but I wouldn't be confrontational about it. And status' on facebook can be taken the wrong way without meaning to. So just be safe and don't say anything. If she asks your advice, then say something about you don't parent that way and do it differently and if she wants to know more ask.

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#4 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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I'm not entirely sure what about the status makes you think its inappropriate, "with a bang" isn't necessarily anything bad.
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#5 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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if you really can't stop yourself then send her a private message.

Most people don't like having their parenting publicly critiqued on a social networking site. As indeed, I am sure you would not enjoy.
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#6 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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I would absolutely not comment.

Sleep training (especially with a 2.5 yr old), might not even mean CIO. They may be "training" the kid an entirely different way. Heck, it could mean slowly weaning her off the boob a little bit each night until she falls asleep, for all I know.

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#7 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 08:44 PM
 
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I wouldn't comment either. And yeah, sleep training of a 2.5-year-old might be entirely different and work differently than with an infant. It's possible thee's no CIO involved. It seems like most parents into CIO would have done that way way before 2.5.
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#8 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 08:49 PM
 
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I wouldn't comment on it!
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#9 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 08:54 PM
 
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Don't comment.
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#10 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 08:56 PM
 
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Another: Don't comment!

My parents started "training" me to sleep in my own bed around that age because my little brother was on his way...nothing harsh about it.

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#11 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
I would absolutely not comment.

Sleep training (especially with a 2.5 yr old), might not even mean CIO. They may be "training" the kid an entirely different way. Heck, it could mean slowly weaning her off the boob a little bit each night until she falls asleep, for all I know.
Exactly.

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#12 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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#13 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I for sure know she is CIO because she has been posting about it regularly sine 6 mths. Every few months she posts about how she has to put ear plugs in. IMO, that is *not* CIO used appropriately. I am not anti-CIO. But it clearly isn't working for her. I feel bad for her. I think she is separating from her partner so things can't be fun.

I won't comment though.

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#14 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 09:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by confustication View Post
I probably would comment, but I also know that I probably *shouldn't*. People tend to react badly to criticism of their parenting.

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#15 of 21 Old 10-26-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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I wouldn't comment. I don't want people criticizing my parenting on my facebook page and I extend the same courtesy to others. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd get a bunch of people telling me that "that's what you get for co-sleeping" when I whine that my 21 month old still wakes up a ton at night. Or worse, I'm sure there are people out there that would threaten to call CPS for child endangerment because they feel that strongly against co-sleeping. I'd figure, by 2 1/2 years old, if she's sleep-training her child, she must be really desparate for sleep. I kind of know the feeling. :

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#16 of 21 Old 10-28-2010, 01:18 AM
 
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You probably shouldn't...however, just to play devil's advocate...doesn't one's status update almost beg for a comment? If one doesn't want comments surely one shouldn't post in such a public way.
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#17 of 21 Old 10-28-2010, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She reposted yesterday specifically about CIO...and I did comment, though not criticizing. I just said that talking had been working for us! Lots of others had commented saying that they hadn't been able to "take" CIOing.

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#18 of 21 Old 10-28-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by redvlagrl View Post
I for sure know she is CIO because she has been posting about it regularly sine 6 mths. Every few months she posts about how she has to put ear plugs in. IMO, that is *not* CIO used appropriately. I am not anti-CIO. But it clearly isn't working for her. I feel bad for her. I think she is separating from her partner so things can't be fun.

I won't comment though.
Oh dear.

Perhaps you could recommend a book like the No Cry Sleep Solution? I know she has one out for older children too.

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#19 of 21 Old 10-29-2010, 03:54 AM
 
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I would say something in the nicest way possible and she doesn't repond favorably, drop it. That's just me; I have strong convictions

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#20 of 21 Old 10-29-2010, 07:23 PM
 
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Don't comment.

If she disagreed with your style of parenting would you want her to start a debate about it? Or point it out? What GOOD will come of it?

Here's the deal, we all have to parent the way that works best for US and OUR kids based on how we were raised and our morals and values. Unless there's direct abuse going on, how someone else parents their kid really isn't any of my business.
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#21 of 21 Old 10-29-2010, 07:54 PM
 
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I think recommending something that worked for you is a lot more productive than criticizing what she's currently doing, so if you really want to comment, that's what I would do!
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