How do you co-sleep...literally? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are co sleeping with our little one who is 5months and I am just wondering how you literally co-sleep. I find it to be a little uncomfortable because I feel I am always having to lay on my side (face to face with baby).  In the mornings, my back is all tweaked and I am just uncomfortable in general. Maybe I feel I need to be face to face (or breast to her face) to make sure I don't smash her or smother her or something.  Any suggestions to help make it a little more comfortable? Maybe as she gets older, it will get easier and I will be able to "relax" a little and sleep better.

Does babe sleep on your side of the bed? on your arm (how do you do that)? next to you? in between you and spouse? Details appreciated! :)

 

We do have an attached co-sleeper but I feel our baby girl sleeps more comfortably with us.

 

Thanks! :)


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#2 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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I have both DDs in bed with us.  DD1 sleeps in between DH and I and DD2 sleeps on the other side of me with a guard rail at the edge of the bed.  Most of the night I do face DD2 on my left side, but sometimes DD1 wants me to cuddle with her and I roll over.  I was way more scared of turning my back on DD1 than I am now.  DD2 is about 10 weeks and DD1 is almost 2.5 years.  I think you get used to it???

 


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#3 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 10:17 PM
 
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I wish I could be more reassuring, but I have not had a comfy night sleep since DS was born for the same reason as you.  Heck I haven't had a nights sleep at all.  I still sleep facing him with one arm over my head and I have pretty much given up on having a pillow.  I can sometimes roll over onto my back, but I have never slept with my back towards him because it freaks me out.  Covers are always at my hips and I use a very warm shirt.

 

I've just recently started training him to sleep in his own bed which is right next to mine.  He will wake up and crawl in with me usually when I go to bed...but there have been a couple of nights when I got to fall asleep 'alone' and it was amazing and a little scary how deeply I slept.  And amazing.  But I missed having him there nonetheless.

 

He is 16 months old.

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#4 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@chloesMama: I hope I do get used to it! :)

@Cgirl:  I know the "arm over the head" to well!! lol 


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#5 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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It's been a long time since I have co-slept with a little one.  When I first started with my newborn, I had her swaddled up at the top of the bed in between us, but she managed to get out of it and get over to me.  For months I slept on my side with my arm straight up under my pillow with my head over that, and my baby down below the pillow.  This started causing problems with my shoulder joint after awhile, I'd just end up very stiff and I wanted to be able to sleep on my stomach again.  Plus after the initial few months, I found I couldn't just fall in and out of that light sleep like I could with a newborn.  I'd have a hard time falling asleep when I was uncomfortable, and it felt disruptive to have to move into a side lying nursing position for however long it took.  Eventually I started sleeping on my side and stomach and doing a lie over position for nursing, so I'd do side lying on the bottom breast, and then kind of do a top breast lean over thing. This was when my firstborn was older, like a year or so. At first it was very awkward, but especially with my second baby, it worked out OK and I started it earlier.  When she was done, I'd often roll over and sleep facing away, but that didn't always work well since my first would immediately start pulling at my back, trying to get the breast again.  I think I had to hang the pillow off the bed, too, to keep it away from her head, and then it would often fall off the bed.

 

My husband and I have a king sized bed and we'd each use our own sheet and blanket, so that helped with things.  I could tuck the covers in around my shoulder and keep them away from my childrens' faces. I had a cosleeper up against the bed, and I'd often put my kids on the outside.

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#6 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 11:28 PM
 
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I generally sleep with Cecilia on my arm, between my husband and I. I go back and forth between being on my side and being on my back, with her still on my arm, and with my pillow under both of our heads. I move her down when it's time to nurse so that she is at breast level.

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#7 of 20 Old 11-14-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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i slept facing into my ds1 at first, but now with #2, i generally sleep on my back with an arm raised above my head and my ds2 tucked into my armpit lol. ds1 is on the other side of me, between me and my dh,and he moves around all night.


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#8 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 02:12 AM
 
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With both sons it started out with me having to lay on my side and yeah, at times it was a little uncomfortable.  DS2 seems to use me as human dummy (pacifier) so I am often stuck on my side as he comfort sucks the night away.  BUT - it has gotten easier as he gets older.  He is nearing 7 months old now and there are times I can lay any which way I want!  It just evens out the back aches ;) lmao 


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#9 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 04:32 AM
 
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I have DD2 wrapped in a Halo Sleepsack for Newborns(it also wraps around their arms) and she lays in the middle of both DH and I (we also have a king size bed, so there's plenty of room between the both of us) Her crib is sidecared to our bed but she would rather sleep next to me so I would rather have a good nights rest and not be up every 1-2 hours.

 

I am sleeping on my side arm up over my head. I also nurse so I switch sides in the middle of the night as well.


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#10 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 04:46 AM
 
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I used to stay in one spot with my first...

 

Then I figured out that I could scoop them up and turn over with them... so when they are still tiny, I would just cuddle them to me and roll over and then settle them on the other side... They never really woke up and I was able to be comfortable and always facing th e baby... So baby was either between DH and I, or on the side of the bed...  As they grow I start to feel comfortable not having to face them all of the time and baby just stays in the middle most of the time... 

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#11 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 05:23 AM
 
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I am sleeping on my side, too, with my arm kind of curled under the pillow. I also do the "turnover" with the babe clutched to my chest. I haven't tried the "reach over", nursing with the top breast while side lying...my breasts don't get very big, so they don't really reach that far. I do use a pillow propped right up against my back for support while side sleeping and nursing. It really helps me sleep more comfortably.
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#12 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 06:03 AM
 
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I still have my 6 1/2 month old in the snugglenest right in the middle of my bed. She is too big for it, but is a slow roller and cant get out of it for anything.

This is my 3rd one. At this point my post would be "How does one NOT cosleep?"

Even though you dont get a great night's sleep, think about the baby in a crib. The baby would have to cry and become fully awake. You would have to get up out of bed, bend down, and bring the baby to a rocking chair to nurse.

I cant even count the times during the night I just have to give a reassuring rub on baby's belly, or hold her hand just to let her know I'm right with her.

So, I know the sleep isnt the greatest, but the only alternative is even less.

You are doing the right thing keeping your baby comfy.

I sleep on my stomach with my face toward baby for half the night. Then I turn it the other way and put my hand on her leg.

You will become much less nervous as your baby gets older. 5 months is pretty sturdy.

If you only sleep with a small pillow, and make you bed leaving about 2 feet of space above the comforter, her face cant get covered.

Also, if you sleep with your head  lower than baby (at about her thighs) she cant get covered by anything.

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#13 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 06:41 AM
 
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#14 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 06:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paxye View Post

I used to stay in one spot with my first...

 

Then I figured out that I could scoop them up and turn over with them... so when they are still tiny, I would just cuddle them to me and roll over and then settle them on the other side... They never really woke up and I was able to be comfortable and always facing th e baby... So baby was either between DH and I, or on the side of the bed...  As they grow I start to feel comfortable not having to face them all of the time and baby just stays in the middle most of the time... 


I do this as well-- it makes it easier for me to nurse at night on the opposite side from where we first laid down.

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#15 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 06:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2happy View Post

I still have my 6 1/2 month old in the snugglenest right in the middle of my bed. She is too big for it, but is a slow roller and cant get out of it for anything.

This is my 3rd one. At this point my post would be "How does one NOT cosleep?"

Even though you dont get a great night's sleep, think about the baby in a crib. The baby would have to cry and become fully awake. You would have to get up out of bed, bend down, and bring the baby to a rocking chair to nurse.

I cant even count the times during the night I just have to give a reassuring rub on baby's belly, or hold her hand just to let her know I'm right with her.

So, I know the sleep isnt the greatest, but the only alternative is even less.

You are doing the right thing keeping your baby comfy.

I sleep on my stomach with my face toward baby for half the night. Then I turn it the other way and put my hand on her leg.

You will become much less nervous as your baby gets older. 5 months is pretty sturdy.

If you only sleep with a small pillow, and make you bed leaving about 2 feet of space above the comforter, her face cant get covered.

Also, if you sleep with your head  lower than baby (at about her thighs) she cant get covered by anything.


We half cosleep/half crib sleep. She starts the night in a her crib and generally wakes around 2 am. I go to her then and nurse her in a bed in her room. Sometimes I end up cosleeping the rest of the night with her, sometimes I am awake enough to put her back in the crib and go back to my own bed. I find that I sleep better when I sleep for part of the night alone because I am able to let my body go to the much deeper level of sleep. Even with being fully awake in the middle of the night, I am more rested than if I cosleep the whole night because I sleep much lighter with a baby in my armpit. I also find that when we're cosleeping I have to settle DD many more times than when she is in her crib, but ymmv.

 

With DD1 we coslept full time. I started with her in my armpit and me on my side. As she got older DH left the family bed to get more sleep in another room so it was just the two of us in a king size. I would put her to sleep on one side of the bed and ever so slowly inch over to my own side to sleep comfortably. Rinse and repeat every time she woke up.


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#16 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 09:29 AM
 
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My almost-three-year-old sleeps on the far right side of the bed, then my partner is next to him (he is in charge of the 3yo at night).  Then we start out the night with the 6mo between us.  I lie on my side with a pillow behind my back (this allows for more positions after I get achy... you can sort of be on your back and still nurse and don't have to hold yourself up as much).  My arm is under the pillow I use for my head so the baby's head doesn't get rammed under there (he does a lot of pressing with is feet).

 

At 4:30a when my partner gets up to go to work, I get up to pee and when I come back, I switch sides with the baby so that I am between him and the 3yo, who is a very rough sleeper. 

 

I do lie on my back sometimes, but I'm not ready to face away from the 6mo yet.   I think my other son was about 2yo before I felt comfortable rolling away from him, but I can see that it will be earlier with this one now that I feel more confident and comfortable.

 

We have a king mattress with foam bumpers under the fitted sheet on both sides.  The extra room and bumpers make all the difference!

 

It's crowded and noisy sometimes, but I think it's probably easier right now than the alternatives, and I know one day I'll miss the big family snuggle fest.

 

Hope you find something that works for you, OP!


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#17 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 07:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone!! Great suggestions!!

I did the pillow behind the back last night and it was soo much better...it made the situation a little more comfortable.  Thanks!  I am going to try more suggestions tonight! You are all awesome! :)


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#18 of 20 Old 11-15-2010, 08:17 PM
 
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I did the side lying with a pillow behind my  back for the first few months but I was still getting sore hips and shoulders.  It was at about 4 or 5 months when I figured out how to nurse while laying flat on my back.  At 15 months it is still one of the most comfortable ways for me to sleep and nurse.  I don't know if it would have worked when he was smaller.  I lay down on the bed with a pillow under my head and another full size bed pillow right next to one of my sides under my arm.  The side pillow comes up to my armpit, but does not go under my shoulder.   The baby lays on his tummy on top of me, but leaning against my arm that's on the pillow.  His far arm and leg sort of drape down my side, in between my side and arm. If his face isn't at the right angle to latch on, I can adjust it by sticking my elbow farther out so my arm is under the back of his head more and his face comes to the breast.  Does that even make sense?  I was so much happier once I figured it out.  I don't have to worry about where he is in the bed, and I get to sleep on my back with both arms below my head. 


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#19 of 20 Old 11-16-2010, 09:08 AM
 
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i also tend to half cosleep. we start the night separately (her in crib, us in bed) and then she comes and spends the rest of the night with us. if the first waking was fairly early on, i would probably move her back to her crib a couple hours before we get up. i have a bad back, so for me, the extra space is very well worth the few minutes of extra work. when she is in bed with me, i usually sleep with her either higher up between our pillows (never had a problem with them touching her face) or next to me, either just far enough that i can have my bottom arm folded between us, or with the bottom arm above her head. i do usually end up rolling away from her at some point in the night, but she almost always stays in the middle.

 

for us, it works pretty well... we get grown-up cuddle time at bed time, i get some space and a couple hours of deep sleep, and we also get the benefits of cosleeping... cuddling, easy feeding, longer stretches of sleep.

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#20 of 20 Old 11-16-2010, 09:28 AM
 
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We did something like this with the same crib pictured, but with no bed frame.  So, our box spring and mattess were on the floor and the crib's mattress was at one of the lowest settings.  It was completely flush.  DD could roll in and out at that age, but did prefer her own space.  DD was STTN at 2 months.

 

 

crib.jpg

 

At, around 13 months we replaced the crib with a twin mattress on the floor next to us.  It is not on a box spring, so she is significantly lower than us.  This has given her the perfect amount of seperation we all need.  She comes up all the times for snuggles, but the majority of the time she enjoys lying on her own bed right next to me.  She knows I am within an arm's reach, and she gets her own dinasaur bed.

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