10 month old nursing all night - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-29-2004, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 10 month old is still nursing every 1-2 hours all night long and I am SO tiried. He slept in our bed until about two weeks ago when we put the crib on side-car to give us all a bit more room. Except for about 4 weeks around 6 months when he went 5-6 hours during the night its the same...every 1-2 hours, 3 if its a good night. It seems most babies this age only wake 1-2 times to nurse....any ideas? FYI there was no change before or after the side car. Also I am home with him all day so I do not think he could be missing me or not nursing enough during the day.
I am just getting so tired and I wonder why he wakes so often? thanks for any help or ideas...

maria
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Old 03-29-2004, 07:33 PM
 
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Welcome to the world of "why in the he!! are you still nursing all blessed night?" My dd is almost 13 months old and still nurses frequently. My conclusion: babies wake up a lot at night and need to nurse almost every time. A lot of other mamas on here experience the same thing--I know some have tried Pantley's NCSS and it worked for them. Didn't work for us--I am too lazy to implement her ideas Anyway, no advice, just a big hug to let you know I"m right there with you! It's nothing you're doing--your baby just loves you A LOT and needs you even more!

Perdita, wife to J, mom to Bridget (6), Ivy (4) Trace (2) and Fiona, my 3rd vbac baby, born 12/2/09!
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Old 03-29-2004, 09:11 PM
 
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I'm there too - but with a 15 month old:
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Old 03-29-2004, 11:38 PM
 
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Shoot, I was just about to write a message that posed the exact same question!! DS is 6.5 months and for the last 2 weeks up every 1.5-2 hours. I was hoping to see some good ideas. What is the NCSS by Pantly one of you mentioned?

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Old 04-02-2004, 12:18 AM
 
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Ditto, with a 10 month old. Can't figure out if its hunger, separation anxiety, a growth spurt, teething, crawling/walking milestones, too cold, too hot, or a combination of all of them! I keep trying to tell myself to trust her and trust nature, but my back and neck are killing me from night nursing so frequently! But I can't think of an alternative solution other than CIO, so I'm surrendering to the experience...

It's nice to know I'm not in it by myself! Sometimes I just feel like I must be doing something wrong, as no one else seems to have this problem...but I always come back to thinking that she knows what she needs, and I should provide it.

Confusing...
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Old 04-02-2004, 01:44 AM
 
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I have been reading the No Cry sleep solutions and I think it will work for us, based on my daughters cues.
SHe is 8 months and for the last month or so, occasionally she will suck her fingers and act like she is TRYING to go back to sleep. So I think she is ready. Then for no reason at all last night I was able to snuggle her instead of nursing and she did go back to sleep. She didn't nurse until 4:30 am. I was SHOCKED.

I do think that it will take some commitement to get this to be an every night thing, with out crying. But I am going to be patient and try it.

Just to give you an example. Pantley suggests things like introduce a "lovey" (doll, blanket etc..) for your baby to snuggle with, also ways to help them nurse less at night in general.
FYI she co-slept and breastfed while using this method on her own son. SO I am really encouraged.

Of course I do realize that teething, sickness and other developmental things will throw us off once in a while. But even if I can get her to go 3-4 hours at night I will consider it success at this point.

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Old 04-02-2004, 10:52 AM
 
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Hi, i'm in the same boat with my 9 month old waking every hour. he wakes up fussing and crying even tho he's right in bed with me. I keep thinking there must be something else wrong. I hope it helps to know there's others out there with the same situation. take care and sleep when you can. beth
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Old 04-02-2004, 03:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mariag
It seems most babies this age only wake 1-2 times to nurse....maria
Not any of the babies I know. Sounds totally normal. Like another poster, my 15 mos still wakes several times a night to nurse.
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Old 04-02-2004, 04:54 PM
 
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My 10 month old son wakes frequently through the night and it's like you said " every 3 hours" on a good night!!! If I eat anything that upsets my son's stomach (garlic, spices, MSG, onions, broccoli, legumes, too much dairy, etc.) OR he is in the midst of teething OR has a stomach virus, he could be waking up every 30-60 minutes until he gets settled.

I used to read this forum and look at books searching for solutions but over the past few months I've decided to just try to live with the sleep deprivation knowing that one day I'll look back and wish my son was as cute and cuddly as he is today. I know it may sound a little trite but honestly this thought keeps me going.

It's interesting though ... I have a girlfriend whose 2 kids both slept for 8 hours straight around 4-6 weeks of age!! She considers it a hardship if they are teething and she has to wake up 1 or 2 times in the night!! Can you imagine?!!!:LOL
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Old 04-03-2004, 07:02 PM
 
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My 23mth old still nurses ALL NIGHT..... some nights I cry with exhaustion. I read NCSS but with 3 other kids and home-schooling we just can't do routine! For now I accept I will be tired and maybe he'll feed less as he gets older????
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Old 04-03-2004, 07:21 PM
 
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My 5 month old DD has teased me a few nights when she's slept 6 hour stretches...but then the next night goes back to waking every 3 hours. I would give anything for a full night's sleep! !!!
Wish there was a Sleep Deprivation Support Group I could attend daily so I could hang out with other delerious moms. My DH simply does not understand why this is so hard for me. He tells me to change my attitude towards it. You can imagine what I want to tell him. Some days I'm so tired I feel like wearing a sign that says "please excuse the words that come out of my mouth- I'm too tired to know what I'm saying!"

Blessings, love and rest to all you other tired mamas!
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Old 04-03-2004, 09:23 PM
 
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Hi again. This might sound like silly advice but it helps me a bit (sometimes, anyway!). My husband works ridiculous shifts - like he will work 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. todays in a row and then 1 p.m. to 11 p.m. and then he has to force himself to stay up all night because the next day he works 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. I would not like his shifts at all -they are horrendous on his system. He is very good natured about his shifts because he says he just has lowered his expectations of sleep. He says he doesn't expect an uninterrupted 8 hours so it doesn't stress him out if he gets 6 hours or 4 hours of broken sleep. I have tried to "lower my sleep expectations" as well. Sometimes, this attitude helps me get through the day! (Sometimes!!!)
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Old 04-04-2004, 12:33 AM
 
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I decided a long time ago to stop asking why she was waking so often and needing to nurse. Just because is the answer. That's the baby who came to me, not one who slept through at 4 mo, not one who sleeps soundly.

Just wanted to weigh in with another older babe - mine is 21 mo - who nurses all night long. And I just met another mama IRL who has one too! Thank goodness I'm not alone anymore outside cyberspace.

I also stay at home keeping dd company, and nurse a lot during the day.
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Old 04-05-2004, 10:02 AM
 
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I went throught this with my second baby for 2 years and now with my third who is 5 months old. He gets up every 1-2 hours all night long. I say that, but I'm not sure becuase i got rid of the clock in my room. That helps alot and also lowering your expectations like a others have suggested. I just know that this is the way it is. It will get better, I don't know when (maybe I'll get pregnant again, that worked the last time )
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Old 04-05-2004, 10:13 AM
 
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Hi everyone --

Here's one thought...

I nursed my first two boys until somewhere in their third year. I'm still nursing my youngest who is now 17 months.

I have found that it can be a habit to nurse on both of our parts. I find myself subconciously offering to nurse him all the time.

In bed, I used to have the same situation, and then I realized that sometimes he wasn't completely awake, and it was a habit for him to search around looking to nurse. But if I just said a couple of words like, 'hi honey, go back to sleep' and patted his back a little -- oftentimes he WOULD

So that's my suggestion -- you might get SOME sleep by trying this...

Lori
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Old 04-05-2004, 11:18 AM
 
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to skylerliz.....
my dd (who is now 3.5) used to wake every 2-3 hours for well over a year and I thought that was awful, but now i have 2 kids and a 9 month old who wakes every hour or more......what i wouldn't give for that 2-3 hours now. It's all a matter of perspective. I know it's hard, but it won't last forever so just keep doing the best you can. I think I've found he also wakes more when something i ate doesn't agree with him as well....also think he may have some reflux so we've been elevating him a bit. take care everyone and to you who only have one baby.....sleep when he/she sleeps.....really.

beth
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Old 04-06-2004, 08:09 AM
 
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Lori-- that's a really good reminder!! I definitely am in the habit of just "rolling over and whipping out the boob".

Thanks.

Melissa
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Old 04-07-2004, 11:33 AM
 
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I love these boards... last night as I was moaning and groaning about dd needing to nurse every ? knows minutes (because, honestly, I can't be bothered to look at the clock and see how long it was since the *last* time I was up. who cares?), I was thinking- I need to post on the boards and see who else is dealing with this! and- cha-ching! here you all are. sigh.

my dd, just under 10 months is in one of those phases that makes her happy (lots of nursing!) and me grumpy and frustrated with the lack of real rest. I read NCSS once and we were about to implement some things, and then we went away for the weekend, the time change happened, and she appears to be getting all her teeth at once (just kidding, but ykwim). So, down the drain it all went. While I would love to carry on through the day in my zombie like state with belief that she's getting what she needs, I'm more inclined to find gentle ways of making things better. I figure, it's not going to be any *less* of what she needs if we work on getting her to sleep for greater lengths of time without any stressful measures. I say this for me- not to contadict any other mamas who posted here.

anyway, I have no point really, except to co-miserate and if anyone else is going to be trying some of the NCSS stuff, I'd be interested in doing check-ins to chart progress. Might be inspiration, as she says it can take 2 months before things are looking up.

oh- something interesting though, that I am finding. Sometimes when I am nursing/slinging dd to sleep, the nursing actually gets her all worked up. she's kicking her legs and kneading/pulling at my breast/other nipple (me, gritting my teeth and gently redirecting her hand to no avail). Its like she's distracting herself. Last night after the 2nd time she bit me, I just said- NO more- and rocked her to sleep w/o nursing and she went right out, after minimal fussing. anyone experience this?

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Old 04-07-2004, 12:01 PM
 
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Definitely. My dd is 10.5 months, and I've discovered that my default--just give her the boobie--is no longer working. In fact, as you noted, it seems just to be more entertainment now as opposed to a way of soothing herself. It used to be the no fail sleep solution, but no more.

I actually find her responding a bit more favorably (sometimes, at least) to me just holding her close and talking quietly to her, or carrying her in the sling. Another thing that has really helped--getting others to put her to sleep (dh and MIL) so that she's acclimated to getting to sleep other ways, so I know she can do it--just not with ME! LOL...but she they do use a "comfort bottle" with her, which I'm trying to eliminate...

I have tried the NCSS and bits and pieces worked, like taking the nipple out asap, but it has been a slow slow process, which it's supposed to be, but I can't help wondering if she'll just grow out of the whole thing anyway.

She was working on her two top teeth for a LONG time and was nursing incessantly all night long, but as soon as the tooth showed up, it has improved substantially! I keep figuring that she's nursing so much for a reason...and that's usually right even though I don't know it at the time.

I just take such comfort in knowing that there are others struggling with this too. I'm glad you're all there.
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Old 04-08-2004, 09:21 PM
 
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I'm glad you all are here too. Seems like all the moms I know have sleeping angels, so it's nice to hear you all are in the same tired boat I'm in! Thanks for the tips, too...


jill
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Old 04-08-2004, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well since starting this post things actually seem to be improving....at least for now. If ds naps well during the day he is down at night be about 7:30. I nurse him when I go in about 9:30 (just roll him to me and rouse him and he is in a side car) and then has been going 5 whole hours before he wakes to nurse, then about 1-2 hours after that until he wakes for the day about 7:30 - 8:00am. I'm not sure, but I think nursing him when I get in may be helping him with the big stretch of time...not sure, but that 5ish hours is great!!!!! I am enjoying it while it lasts.

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Old 04-11-2004, 06:59 PM
 
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I have a twelve month old who does this periodically. Sometimes it seems to be because he's teething. A few times, he's done this, and then after a few nights, it turns out he's coming down with a cold or an ear infection. It always seems that when I think I can't put up with the all night nursing any longer, something happens and I think"ah, that's why he's been nursing all night", and then it gets better for a while. Right now it's a bad spell again, he has a cold, and it feels like he's nursing every hour, although in reality it can't be that often!

Anyway, it is nice to know that other people are in the same boat. It seems that people you meet IRL are reluctant to admit that they have all night nursers--I know there is no way they have the angelic sleepers that they say they have, not ALL of them. How many times do you meet someone who says their child sleeps well, and then when you share your woes with them, they say "oh, yes, me too, she wakes up a bunch of times" etc, and it turns out their child doesn't really sleep all night either?

Glad things are going better for you at least!

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Old 04-15-2004, 05:26 PM
 
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When my dd was 8 or 10 mo old I thought we were the only ones with a child that didn't sleep through the night, but it turns out there are soooo many of us. My dd is 20 mos now and b/c of some new things we've tried in the last month or so she has been sleeping longer and sometimes through the *whole* night (10 hours)!

We all don't like the CIO approach and both CIO and NCSS take a lot of effort to implement. When you're so tired, it's so much easier to go with status quo. All I can say is that you have to find the balance of happy mommy and happy baby. If you are going crazy and are totally irritated when your baby won't stop nursing at night it's not good.

I would advise that you read the NCSS and any other tips on helping babies sleep and when you finally reach the breaking point (if you do) you will take all the information you read and begin to formulate your own plan. DH and I have come to a compromise--there is some crying, but we stay with her and check-in frequently. And every once in a while there is no crying, just talking and singing to herself until she falls asleep. And we are treated to an almost guaranteed 5+ hour stretch of sleep and I *know* that's a dream when your littl'un is waking ever 3 or less hours/night.

Good luck!
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Old 04-15-2004, 10:58 PM
 
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Ditto on the "as soon as I think I can't take it anymore it gets better" thing...isn't that weird? But right now I REALLY can't take it anymore so hopefully it will be better 2nite.

Any aspects of NCSS that worked BEST for you? I'm having only piecemeal success at the nipple removal thing...I can only get her to let it go at a certain point, and no earlier than that no matter what. Stubborn little bugger!
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Old 04-16-2004, 07:19 PM
 
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I actually resorted for a while to removing the nipple and replacing it with a soother. Lesser of two evils, I guess--this way I could at least get up and walk away, or turn over, or whatever. Although for the last few nights, he's spat the soother out and demanded the nipple back. Guess he's getting smarter as he gets older.

The idea of a bedtime routine certainly helped us a bit--I think others will probably agree. We are now quite specific about the bedtime routine, and try very hard to stick to it. But other than that, I'm not really dedicated enough to go through with a lot of what NCSS says. You really do have to be determined, and I'm just not there yet!
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Old 04-16-2004, 09:05 PM
 
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10 months? Nursing all night? Sounds like my house. Add in a couple of nights a week of "geez mom I know it's only 5 am but lets get up for the day!" Yaaawwwwnnn!

Tammy
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:22 PM
 
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Yep. I have a 13 month old that has the same problem. There will be a time where she gets better, and I think I'm over the hump, and then back to waking up what seems like all night long. I've watched the clock turn practically every hour some nights. Last night she woke up at 3:30am and was pretty much up the rest of the morning until we got out of bed at 6am.

My sanity has improved greatly by reading these boards! It's so good to know that one has company in the no sleep world. It seems so exasperating when you find yourself up in the night over and over again, and it appears that all the other houses on the block seem so peaceful. I often struggle with being sympathic, sad, angry, and frustrated.

I've read countless books and articles, but I do know that like anything else they eventually grow out of it. It's just that sometimes you wish it was today and try not to run out of the house screaming!

We're all here for you!
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Old 04-17-2004, 08:08 PM
 
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Just another vote for NCSS -- when ds was 15 months old he was still nursing 3-4 times a night at least and it was driving me INSANE. I went to an LLL meeting and complained that I was starting to wish I had never started doing the attachment-parenting thing.

It helped to find out that 15-18 months is often a particularly difficult age (it wasn't just me!). And what really helped was reading that book and putting it to work -- really, ds was sleeping through the night in less than a week. And has ever since. (He still sleeps with us at 2.5 years old.) Good luck! Sleep deprivation is hard.
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Old 04-17-2004, 08:12 PM
 
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He's also a high needs baby which doesn't help. But, one thing, I always just offered him the breast when he awoke (which he does frequently thru out the night). Just a few weeks ago I didn't offer the breast, I just laid him back down and BAM he was back to sleep. And this has worked most times he awakens during the night since. He still wakes up, but I just lay him back down and he's out! Try it! Who knows!
Kimberley
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:47 AM
 
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sleeping angels are a myth...they all LIE!!!! Just kidding but really don't you just wonder? Or they have a higher tolerance to letting there wee ones cry it out. I was there too! Everybaby is so different that who knows how long you will continue to be deprived...but remember why you are making the sacrifices...and that always seemed to get me through. It really is a good thing your babies want and need you...even though you don't think that at 11, 12. 1,2, 3, 4 am!
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