I think we are going to do sleep training. Is it really that bad? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 38 Old 02-05-2011, 08:17 PM
 
Angelorum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,067
Mentioned: 30 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)

So, she won't stay asleep unless you are sidelying?  Is she wanting to be latched on the whole time, or does she just startle when you try to move away?  If she wants to stay latched on, you could work on gently removing your nipple, a good method for that is detailed here.  I remember a few months around that age where I had a terrible time trying to escape once my son was asleep, but then a little while later I realized that it had all the sudden become a piece of cake! 

 

Could she start the night in her swing?  My son napped in his bouncy seat at that age, and I would put him down at bedtime in it as well, and then take him into bed with me when I was ready to go to sleep.  


Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12
Angelorum is offline  
#32 of 38 Old 02-05-2011, 08:39 PM
 
colsxjack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Our daughter was a light sleeper and would easily wake when we tried to sneak off. What worked for us was to really study her sleep patterns for a bit. And then not get too impatient and try to sneak off too soon. We had to wait until she was in a deep sleep. For her, it came about 10 minutes after she fell asleep. Basically, if we tried to move away from her before her little arm was rubber, with ZERO resistance, when lifted from her body and dropped back down than she would wake. When we thought she was asleep...wait another minute. This then gave us about 30minutes before she woke and had to be tended to. But our DD had 40min sleep cycles then.

Then about 6 or 7 months old we could get 90 minutes. She would be able to fuss for 30 seconds after the first full sleep cycle and go back down herself for another one.

She is 18 months old and still needs some attention every 2-3 sleep cycles. But she is confident that we are there and usually goes right back to sleep with either a little nursing or cuddle.

 

Also. We still use a white noise machine. We keep it on the waves sound. It';s relaxing for all of us.

And she likes movement. At 4 months it was BIG movement. Now she enjoys a little rocking for being pt down for naps or back to sleep.


Me 40 eat.gif. Partner to mamacolleen 33 superhero.gif. DD born July 2009 blahblah.gif. Twin boys born Nov 2012.

We are a family that loves cold.giftreehugger.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

colsxjack is offline  
#33 of 38 Old 02-06-2011, 05:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
sssheri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: MN
Posts: 99
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Gemini- Thanks! Hopefully our LO will go for longer stretches like your son.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post

I'm wondering a couple things...  First, how would she fall asleep if you went to bed with her?  Would you be nursing or cuddling?  Can you do this (whatever it is you'd do if you were also going to bed) and then just slip away and leave her there?  Also, if you can make swaddling part of that, it might help a lot.  You said that often she'll fall asleep in the MOBY and your partner is able to transfer her to the co-sleeper, but then she wakes up.  If she were swaddled when she fell asleep (not sure if that can be accomplished with the MOBY), I bet she'd last a bit longer.

 

I do agree with other posters that you may have to just follow her lead for a little while and give up your hopes for a few hours of stretching out.  I would feel pretty frustrated if I worked all day and then only had three hours after work before I pretty much had to go to bed.  Ugh.  BUT it really is only for a short time.  At that age, things change pretty quickly.  You may look up in three or six weeks and find that you've gotten into some routine that you would not have seen coming.  I do know what it's like to lay there, not tired, thinking of all of the things on your "to do" list, or the show you want to watch or the knitting project you're craving to work on.  But when you're past this I swear it will seem like it didn't go on for too long.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by colsxjack View Post

Our daughter was a light sleeper and would easily wake when we tried to sneak off. What worked for us was to really study her sleep patterns for a bit. And then not get too impatient and try to sneak off too soon. We had to wait until she was in a deep sleep. For her, it came about 10 minutes after she fell asleep. Basically, if we tried to move away from her before her little arm was rubber, with ZERO resistance, when lifted from her body and dropped back down than she would wake. When we thought she was asleep...wait another minute. This then gave us about 30minutes before she woke and had to be tended to. But our DD had 40min sleep cycles then.

Then about 6 or 7 months old we could get 90 minutes. She would be able to fuss for 30 seconds after the first full sleep cycle and go back down herself for another one.

She is 18 months old and still needs some attention every 2-3 sleep cycles. But she is confident that we are there and usually goes right back to sleep with either a little nursing or cuddle.

 

Also. We still use a white noise machine. We keep it on the waves sound. It';s relaxing for all of us.

And she likes movement. At 4 months it was BIG movement. Now she enjoys a little rocking for being pt down for naps or back to sleep.



This sounds like dd! We have a white noise machine VERY LOUD right next to the bed. I love it too! 

sssheri is offline  
#34 of 38 Old 02-06-2011, 02:32 PM
 
dalia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,983
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Yeah, i'm confused because I think that if you are with your baby and helping her through a transition then it is not cio. Have you read the no cry sleep solution? I can't believe i'm suggesting it because I read it about 1000 times and it didn't really help me, but you sound like a real good candidate for it. She may just need to let off steam before she sleeps and I think it's great that someone is there with her.

You have to follow your instincts and do what is right for your family. I don't advocate cio but it just doesn't seem like that is what you are doing here!

Wife to one amazing husband superhero.gif, SAHM to DS bouncy.gif 10/09, DS babyboy.gif 10/19,  one furbaby dog2.gif, and lots of chicken3.gif!

 
joy.gif

dalia is offline  
#35 of 38 Old 02-06-2011, 03:48 PM
 
Subhuti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Jeta Grove
Posts: 1,517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by elisheva View Post


IMO, if you leave her to cry alone unless circumstances are desperate (like you have to walk away because you are going to lose your cool), it's cruel. If you stay with her while she cries, I think that's normal bedtime stuff. 



 



There's a growing body of evidence that CIO is damaging to babies' brains.




 



I often thought my eldest benefitted from a small cry out before naps when she was very little ... But I agree with this poster it is best to not leave them when they do.

I think that co sleeping, something I never planned to do, was one of the best things I could give my two girls.

It's my opinion the reason so many americans have such poor self esteem and resort to long term anti depressants is from the emotional trauma of being separated each night from their moms and or dads.

The cortisol flood it produces ... So not good. The message it sends... So not good.

Kids. I got two of 'em.
Subhuti is offline  
#36 of 38 Old 02-06-2011, 07:50 PM
 
HappyWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 73
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

A new carrier sounds like a great idea. If there is back pain involved, I'd go with a soft structured carrier. We love our Ergo, but if I could rewind time, I would have gotten a Boba. (The Boba is like an Ergo but it has a few added features, like the foot rest, and it's a few inches taller. It's also made in the US and is less expensive than the Ergo.)

 

My sister has a 5 month old, and she recently started using the techniques from The Sleep Lady, and she's very happy with it. The Sleep Lady isn't about CIO, but it is a sleep training method of putting your LO down awake while you pat them to sleep - it's also about routine and following your baby's cues. My sister has been using it for a few weeks and she said that it has been the first sleep book that has felt right to her. She co-slept/nursed to sleep for the first 4 months, and that worked well while she was on maternity leave. Now that she's back at work though, she wanted a system for the other caregivers to follow to put baby down for naps since she isn't around to nurse to sleep. Neither she or her husband were on board with long-term co-sleeping either, and many sleep books say that the best time to transition from co-sleeping bed to crib is at 4-5 months.

 

Last week I was able to watch their nap time routine a few times, and I saw both my sister and my dad (aka grandpa) put him down awake with just a few minutes of fussing.

 

I personally am in the co-sleeping/babywearing/AP camp, and that works for us, but I realize that it doesn't work for everyone. When our DS was about 3mo old, I started following the techniques in the NCSS (regular naps, bedtime routine, nursing until almost asleep and then pulling off the breast and using my fingers to close his mouth shut). We wear DS a lot in a sling/Ergo, but when he was about 3months I made a point of putting him down in a bed for naps and an early bedtime (via the methods in NCSS.) The main reason I did this was so that DH and I could have intimate time together, and so that I could have some time for a meditation/yoga practice and time on the computer.

 

I've found that if I nurse to sleep, then pull off and hold my fingers on his chin/upper lip for a few moments, and then put my hand on him for a few minutes while I lay with him, he'll fall into a deep sleep. Sometimes I'll even lay with him for 15 minutes or so before tip toeing away. (While I'm there I'll do Savasana yoga pose, or I'll do some deep breathing/relaxation.) I find that if I rush the process, he'll wake up.

 

HappyWoman is offline  
#37 of 38 Old 02-07-2011, 06:43 AM
 
MacKinnon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 3,844
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How close to five months is your baby? My DD turned five months on Saturday and the last week or so has been better for us. She is also a "in arms only" baby. She does NOT sleep alone, pretty much ever. It is draining, and I understand your frustration. I was nearly giddy yesterday when DD slept in the swing for an hour! She's starting to be able/willing to sleep on her own, but she prefers to be in a swing or the car seat, due to her reflux, I think, and also she likes the feeling of being snug like in a wrap. She also rarely nurses to sleep. But in this last week we've had a few days where I nursed her till she was super drowsy and popping off and fussing and the breast, which she does before she falls asleep. I moved her over to the swing and snugged her in tight, and turned on the swing. She actually stopped fussing immediately and played with the toys for a few minutes before she fell asleep, peacefully. Had she begun to cry I would have picked her up, of course.

 

The biggest thing I have had to do is adjust my expectations of evenings and learn how to get/keep DD to sleep up with me. She doesn't have a bed time, nor does she "go to bed" without me. I can usually get her to sleep in my lap and then I do whatever on my laptop. I'll shift her over to DH once he is really sound asleep and do a little house work. If she is fussy, than we go to bed earlier, and DH finishes up what we need to get ready for tomorrow. I do a lot of emailing from my phone, laying on my side next to her in bed.

 

Hang in there Mama! This is a rough time, for me anyway, we're five months into her being very needy, and I'm expected to be fully functioning at work now. It's really tough to juggle everything!


sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

stork-suprise.gif expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
 

MacKinnon is offline  
#38 of 38 Old 02-07-2011, 05:56 PM
 
MamaMunchkin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 355
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by sssheri View Post

Around 2 1/2 months she stopped nursing to sleep and dh has been wearing her down in the Moby (starting at 8pm) and then putting her in the co-sleeper until she woke up around 12 -2. At about 3 1/2 months old she started waking up about 30 mins after he put her down and won't fall back asleep unless I take her into bed and nurse her. (She hasn't even been staying asleep if I nurse her and then move her to the co-sleeper.) I know there is a 4 month sleep regression, so we are going to wait a few weeks to see if this changes, but I think we are going to do some sleep training, which will involve some gentle cry-it-out.

 

I haven't read all the replies, sorry if repeating - but could she be teething?  

If so, deal with that first and don't worry about sleep training etc for now.

 


Pro rights (vaxes).
MamaMunchkin is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off