My son is sleeping in his own room tonight. Sigh. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-07-2011, 09:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last night our five year old announced he wanted his own bed in his own room. It came out of nowhere. He says he wants more room to move around. (There are/were four of us in a king sized bed.)

 

Tonight we put a mattress on the floor in the study. We told him that if he likes sleeping in here by himself, we will make it his bedroom. We would do that this coming weekend. If he doesn't like it, then we'll just go back to sleeping in the same bed for now. He is also welcome to come into our bed at any time.

 

My husband is thrilled to have one less child in bed. I am sad. I had imagined we'd all sleep in the same bed for a few more years. I really love having the whole family together at night.

 

So, he is growing up. It just seems so...distant to have him so far away (the hallway between the bedrooms is only 10 or 12 feet.)

 

A friend told me they have friends that bring their kids into the bed every Saturday night. I like that idea.


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#2 of 10 Old 03-07-2011, 10:20 PM
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I know how you feel. My 5 year old DD decided that her room and bed were better right after turning 4. I had trouble sleeping for a couple of weeks. She hasn't come back to our bed once in over a year. If she needs someone during the night, she calls out. The only time she wants some one to sleep with her, and only in her twin bed, is when she's ill. I guess the whole idea behind AP and co-sleeping is for the child to feel secure enough to become independent when they are ready, but 4 and 5 seem so little.

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#3 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 08:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know how you feel. My 5 year old DD decided that her room and bed were better right after turning 4. I had trouble sleeping for a couple of weeks. She hasn't come back to our bed once in over a year. If she needs someone during the night, she calls out. The only time she wants some one to sleep with her, and only in her twin bed, is when she's ill. I guess the whole idea behind AP and co-sleeping is for the child to feel secure enough to become independent when they are ready, but 4 and 5 seem so little.


Not back in your bed once? Makes me want to cry.  Yeah, it's great that they're learning to be independent without it being forced on them, but it still makes me sad.

 


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#4 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 10:49 AM
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She just likes her own bed better. She has a couple of really cool night lights. And she doesn't have any anxiety about being in the dark or sleeping. I did mention I couldn't sleep well for a couple of weeks. She was in her room sleeping fine for a solid 10 hours per night while I was lying in the other room trying to sleep while listening for her. 

 

One good thing is when you talk to other moms about sleep issues with their preschoolers and they have an infant that they want to be more independent you can let them know that co-sleeping turned your DS into a independent sleeper with no anxiety associated with sleep and no issues about going to sleep.  A happily sleeping alone 4 or 5 year old is good press for co-sleeping.

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#5 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One good thing is when you talk to other moms about sleep issues with their preschoolers and they have an infant that they want to be more independent you can let them know that co-sleeping turned your DS into a independent sleeper with no anxiety associated with sleep and no issues about going to sleep.  A happily sleeping alone 4 or 5 year old is good press for co-sleeping.



There's a silver lining I hadn't considered...Nah, I'd rather have him back in my bed than being a poster child for a cause I believe in. LOL


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#6 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 02:35 PM
 
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My son did the same thing at 4 and then again at 6.  He eventually ended up back in our bed.  He is 9 now and starts each night it his own bed but is usually back in with us by 2-3 in the AM.

 

So who knows, he might be back before you know it!


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#7 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post

My son did the same thing at 4 and then again at 6.  He eventually ended up back in our bed.  He is 9 now and starts each night it his own bed but is usually back in with us by 2-3 in the AM.

 

So who knows, he might be back before you know it!



One could only hope. lol

 

What I'm wondering, is if we should give him his own room whether he sleeps there or not. He is so excited about "his room." Even though atthis point it is only a mattress on the floor surrounded by the computer desk and all their toy shelves. 

 

We have two bedrooms on the main floor and two bedrooms in the basement. As I mentioned, we keep all the toys and the computer in our second upstairs bedroom. I do not want to give him a bedroom in the basement. If we moved the computer downstairs, I would have to use a monitor to listen for waking children upstairs at night while I'm on the computer. We could put a bunch of toys downstairs, but that would limit our 2 year old's access to them. (She does fine on the stairs, but we keep the stairwell door closed and she can't open it. And I wouldn't want her to.)

 

Not sure what to do. Any ideas?


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#8 of 10 Old 03-08-2011, 04:43 PM
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We gave my DD her own room right before turning 3. It was nice having a space to put her things. She liked having a special place to play that was just hers. It was mostly just storage and playroom until she started sleeping there a year later. Our DDs room is across the hall from ours. We can hear her talking in her sleep. I think I'd have trouble sleeping if the room was further away.

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#9 of 10 Old 03-09-2011, 07:00 AM
 
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My son LOVES having his "own"room.  It is his personal space, his safe place so to speak. A place to go to be alone, to cool off, just be by himself. He has book shelves for all his books and lego creations.  A chest of drawers for his clothes and the top has become his place for all his "special" things. And it got all the stuffed animals out of my room, woohoo!

 

In terms of your layout is there anyway to move the computer to a family living area that is not downstairs? You are probably going to want it in a common area when the kids get older anyway. Are you sure you need a monitor if you did move it to the basement? Our computer is at one end of our house, our bedroom are upstairs at the other end of the house and even with really thick horsehair plaster wall I can hear him, LOL.  Even so monitors are cheap these days plus you can often find them at free cycle and thrift stores.

 

However If he is happy with "his room" why not work with what you have now as is and get him a bed frame, some fun sheets and/or comforter, designate a couple of the toy shelves as his, add some framed family photos, etc.  I bet he will be happy for a long time with just that!

 


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#10 of 10 Old 03-09-2011, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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However If he is happy with "his room" why not work with what you have now as is and get him a bed frame, some fun sheets and/or comforter, designate a couple of the toy shelves as his, add some framed family photos, etc.  I bet he will be happy for a long time with just that!

 


Every wall in this room is blocked by shelves or dresser or something. Most hold toys. Then there's the 7 foot high bookshelf and the big computer desk. If we want to have a bed in here and have it be usable space, something has to go. I don't want to move their toys into the livingroom, so that means the computer has to go. Putting the computer in the livingroom would mean moving furniture out of there. We have a small house (900 sf upstairs) and we love antique furniture. Not a good choice of hobbies for us. 

 

We did tell him he can have this as his room. He just needs to let his sister get to his toys. It won't be much of a change, but he sure likes the idea.

 


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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