how long did you keep your monkey in bed with you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 08-20-2011, 05:08 AM - Thread Starter
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blessings all,

i'm a single mama to a 3.5 yr old boy and he's still in bed with me. i couldn't fathom having him anywhere else and am waiting till he is ready to move on to his own room. 


this fall we will put his room together with his input so he has his own sacred space.


my question is: how long did you keep your kids in bed with you?


(i get judged over my bed-sharing,but i don't really care...just bugs me a big)

~ Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu ~
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#2 of 15 Old 08-20-2011, 01:22 PM
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Our 4.5 year old daughter still sleeps with us. I wouldn't change it for anything, and I get constant inquiries from my Dad who wants to know when she is going to sleep in her own bed. I tell him when she decides she's ready, she will.


She showed some interest prior to our move a month ago. She has her own room with her own bed and took a few naps there alone and started off the night a few times at our old house. We moved to a different state 4 weeks ago and she presently needs to be close to me constantly. I nor my husband have made any suggestion to her sleeping in her room. We love having her with us and both agree she will sleep on her own when she is ready.


Enjoy him while he still wants to be close :)

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#3 of 15 Old 08-20-2011, 01:36 PM
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I have two children:  DS1 (almost 16) and DS2 (16 months).  DS1 and I co-slept until he was around 11 (his father and I divorced when he was 3).  DS1 and I both loved it.  He always had his own room and own bed and would happily use them for playing, sleepovers, etc.  I learned to be extremely selective about who I told, though.


DS2, DH, and I now co-sleep.  We don't have room for another room.  I guess if/when DS1 moves, out for college or whatever, DS2 might get his room (?).  Can't imagine not sleeping with him, though, unless it was his request.

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#4 of 15 Old 08-21-2011, 08:45 AM
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Our DD is 25 months and still sleeps with us. We have her crib side-carred to our bed, but she migrates over.

Although, she is becoming a bed hog and really starting to affect our ability to get some good sleep. She is everywhere and constantly kicking us in the face and such. We re in a Queen size bed...but I do not think a King would even matter because she seems to be magnetic and just migrates to wherever someone else is.

We are considering getting her a bed and moving it away from our bed but still in our room. Although we have just begun talking about it and stuff like that usually takes quite a while to put into action in our I'd say she is with us for a few more months anyways.

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#5 of 15 Old 08-21-2011, 06:12 PM
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My DD will be 6 y/o in one month and she still sleeps with us. We are in the (slow) process of fixing up her own room and she's only vaguely interested. She has told us that she likes sleeping with mommy and daddy and doesn't want to sleep alone. I like it; daddy is OK with it. 

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#6 of 15 Old 08-22-2011, 08:32 AM
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8 and 6 still co sleep, not every night but at least half the week.  If they're not with us they share one of the beds in their room.  Arm in arm.  It's sweet.  Who cares what others say.  If the situation works you both then thats just how it should be


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#7 of 15 Old 08-22-2011, 10:04 AM
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I am also a single mom with a son.  He is 7.5 years old now.  He still sleeps with me.  He prefers it, he goes to sleep faster and sleeps longer than if I make him sleep in his bed.  I did try to have him sleep in his own room for a while, but it just didn't work (lots of pressure from my mom).  He has his own room and bed.  He can go to sleep other places and without me - he has had sleepovers and been to sleepovers.  I know a lot of people disagree with co-sleeping, particularly as they get older (although probably not on this board).  I just don't see the harm in having him co-sleep.  It provides him with security and comfort he clearly still needs.  I have no doubt that when he is ready, he will move into his own bed.  I have just learned the hard way not to share this fact with most people.  It is not something the general American public approves of.  

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#8 of 15 Old 08-22-2011, 10:17 AM
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Our lil piglet is only 10 months and sleeps with us. We have a feeling this might be for a long time...but we dont mind :) We love cuddling her, and adore waking up to her smiles

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#9 of 15 Old 08-22-2011, 10:54 AM
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DS is almost 6 and sleeps with us.  For awhile we would lay with him in his own room (right next to ours) to go to sleep but then he would come into our bed when he woke up at 3-5AM.  Shortly before we moved about a month ago, he became adamant about going to sleep in our room, so he's back in our bed full-time.  That's fine with us.


We have a baby due in about 3 months.  We were going to replace DS's toddler bed with a twin so that it would be more comfortable to lay with him and so DH would have a place to go for some space if he needed it when DS came into our bed.  But now that DS is back in our bed, we decided to put the twin next to our queen (which basically creates a wall-to-wall bed in our room) and leave his toddler bed in his room.  This seems to be a great solution.  We all have plenty of room (and still will after the baby is born) and DH won't have to go anywhere in the middle of the night.  We though it was important to let DS stay in our bed as long as he wanted with the baby coming.  We don't want him to feel like we're kicking him out so that DH, the baby, and I can all sleep together and DS has to sleep alone.  DS is also autistic, and with that comes extra anxiety and difficulty surrounding sleep, so we want to make him as comfortable and secure as possible at bedtime.  Sleep is SO important, and we do whatever we can to facilitate it.


We plan to let our kids sleep with us as long as they want/need to.  I had a lot of anxiety and fear surrounding sleep when I was a kid and I NEVER felt safe and calm sleeping alone.  I think finding out what works for your family often necessitates letting go of cultural norms (in this case, private sleeping areas).  If DH and I need some "us" time to be intimate, there's always the futon downstairs. ;)  And in a few years, we may have a bigger apartment/house with another big bed.  We'll continue to do what we feel we need to do to make everyone happy. 

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#10 of 15 Old 08-22-2011, 09:26 PM
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My DD is 19 months and we bed share (her dad and I are separated). I think night time parenting is really beneficial, despite comments from family and friends. I'm planning on letting her decide when she's ready to sleep on her own. Until then I cherish all the cuddles :)

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#11 of 15 Old 08-23-2011, 09:30 AM
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DD is almost 6. She has her own bedroom and her own bed. She starts out in that room every night (Unless DH is away then I just bring her in with me) and then comes into our bed whenever she needs too. Usually it's 4 or 5 in the morning, sometimes earlier sometimes later. We began transitioning her to starting out in her own bed when she was 3. It's been a very gentle child led process. I intend to do the same with DS who is 4 months. :)

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#12 of 15 Old 08-23-2011, 08:03 PM
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We moved our first out around 24 months.  If it storms she's with us all night and she'll crawl in if she wakesu p in the middle of the night.

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#13 of 15 Old 08-24-2011, 10:44 AM
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I have 3 kids and the big 2 started their move out when they were 2.  My son was still coming in on occasion up until I had my baby though (when he was almost 5).  now nobody is allowed in the bed except the baby.  it's just too cramped.  

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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#14 of 15 Old 09-08-2011, 07:29 PM
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6.5 and 4.5yo girls, one on either side of me on one queen-size futon, dh on the next queen futon crammed right up into one giant bed.  (We have an oversized bedroom, called the "big bedroom".)  We finally repurposed the "girls' bedroom" (never used) to an office with a twin bed, more toys, boxes and whatever.  That's the "little bedroom" and is now used only for guests.  We just gave up thinking that the girls would transition.  Or, I should say, gave up thinking that we would put forth the effort to transition them. I was dealing with nighttime potty issues with my youngest, and just found nighttime parenting from another room to be bad for my sleep.


I still wonder about at least sleeping next to dh instead of between the girls, but he's not really cuddly either, never has been.  Our sleep habits were always hugely different.  My main motivation is that I still have to deal with nighttime parenting and prefer to do it with a grunt, a rollover, and a cuddle rather than waking up fully and actually having to *get out of bed*.  Plus, I think cuddling with my kids at night heals a world of hurt and frustration that might arise during the day.



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#15 of 15 Old 09-08-2011, 08:43 PM
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My DD is 9 months. When I did BF she co-slept with me. Way easier. She sleeps very good in her crib from about whenever she goes to bed to just about the time I get home in the morning at 9. If my fiance stays up late or goes out with the guys we snuggle and she sleeps with me. She also sleeps with us just depending on how we are both feeling, especially now that she is getting teeth! My fiance and I sleep literally on opposite sides of our king size bed. He likes being by the wall and I on the edge, so there is always room for her and I to cuddle :)

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