Our Night Weaning Story: We're starting tonight! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 10-25-2011, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A while back, Mama-2-1 posted this - now, we're finally following suit! (How's it going BTW? I've been MIA for a while, v. busy with work, etc.) I'm going to try to update this every day to keep myself motivated!

 

 

OUR SITUATION: DS, age 16 mo, sleeps in the bed on the floor with me. (DH sleeps on the couch or with 8 year old DD.) I nurse him until he's sleepy (sitting up, him in my lap) then hold him on my lap with his binky until he's out. Then roll him on his belly and rub his back until he's totally out.

 

This repeats every 1 or 2 hours. wild.gif

 

Lately, he hasn't wanted to leave my lap and I end up "sleeping" sitting up. For obvious reasons, it's time for this to end.

 

 

MY PLAN: A combination of "No Cry Sleep Solution," and Dr. Jay Gordon. [Since DH has never been involved with the baby at night, I think it would be too hard on DS to have DH take over the nights (even though that might remove me as the milk source.) If I can convince DH, I'd like to have him do a few nights a week, but .. who knows...  ]

 

At bedtime, I'm going to nurse him until he's sleepy but not asleep and then lay him down with his binky. My guess is that he'll sit up and start fussing. I'll lay with him in bed and I might sing like 2 songs and rub his back for those two songs, but no more nursing and no holding him in my lap. I predict that he's going to cry - a lot. But I'm going to try to focus on what Dr. Jay says - that he's angry and frustrated, but not scared (which is the difference with straight CIO.)

 

Also - along with what Dr. Jay says, I'm going to expect that DS can go 7 hours without nursing. DS goes to bed at 8:30 pm, so if he wakes up after 3 am then he can nurse. I don't mind nursing at, say, 3 and then 5 and then up for the day at 7.

 

I'm not sure what will happen overnight. If he cries for like an hour, he might sleep for 4 or 5 hours before waking again. Or he could cry for an hour, sleep for an hour and then do it all again. But I'm hoping to stick to the plan that no nursing, no lap-holding from 8:30 pm to 3:30 am.

 

The goal is that he will get comfy with going to sleep with me in the bed at the beginning of the night and then I'll sit NEXT to the bed. Once he's OK with that, I'll sit near the door. Then I'll (please, please, please) be able to put him to bed and leave the room. (This is according to "No Cry, Sleep Solution." ) But I'm not sure how this will all play out. I might try to go to sleep for the night in the spare room to see if that helps too.

 

OK, now that I've posted this on the Intertubes, I can't back down! Wish me luck!!!


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#2 of 18 Old 10-25-2011, 08:03 PM
 
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good luck!!!


: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#3 of 18 Old 10-26-2011, 09:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Night one!

 

Much better than I expected!

 

Nursed till sleepy, but put down awake at 8:30 pm. He spent the next half hour padding around the bedroom (I'd lead him back to bed) jumping up and down on the bed eyesroll.gif and flopping on his belly. Eventually at 9 pm he flops down and fell asleep! I decide to go to sleep to rest up for the night next to him.

 

Between 9 pm and about 2 am he woke twice. Both times he sat up and babbled/fussed slightly for about maybe 5 to 10 minutes, put his binky back in his own mouth before flopping over and falling back asleep! Both times I rubbed his back and sang a little song. I tried to keep the back-rubbing to a minimum, more of just keeping my hand there.

 

At 2 am, well-rested and loaded for bear, he wakes up and is truly annoyed. He cries/fusses off and on for about an hour and a half, sitting up and resisting my attempts to get him to lay down. BUT it's just that "I'm annoyed/frustrated cry," not the Terror Cry or the Overwhelmed Cry. Early on I have to pee really bad so I leave the room and then I hear him do the super scared wail, which leads me to believe that Dr. Gordon is totally right.

 

He's back asleep by 3:30 am and sleeps until 6 am! I side-lie nurse him (a position which he normally resists) and he falls back asleep until 7 am when he's up for the day!

 

So - that's 4 wakings and one nursing compared to usually 6-7 wakings/nursings!

 

He did go down for nap about an hour earlier than usual - not sure how long he will sleep or, if it's a short nap, how it will effect the late afternoon/evening. I'm also predicting that tonight could be a little worse, after he realizes that this is the real deal and he tries to lodge a complaint with management. 

 

winky.gif


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#4 of 18 Old 10-27-2011, 09:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Night Two!

 

After nursing until sleepy, about 8:45 to 9:10 or so, DS fussed a little but flopped himself down with his binky and I rubbed his back, sang his song and he was out!

 

He wakes again at 10:30 pm. - cries off and on for maybe 15 or 20 minutes, does his flopping routine and goes back to sleep.

 

3 a.m. - now I know this is when I figured I'd nurse him but I'm thinking "Little Dude, you went until 6 am last night," so I do the singing, back-rubbing thing and - he goes back to sleep after only a tiny but of fussing - no real crying!

 

5 a.m. - OK, now I nurse him, sidelying, and he goes back to sleep until 7 am wakeup!

 

So 3 wakings and one nursing! And a 4 1/2 hour stretch of sleep - something he has never done!!!! joy.gif

 

Trying not to be too optimistic, but feeling v. hopeful! Tonight I plan to lay with him until he's asleep like I have been doing, but not go to bed at 9 pm myself. I might go to bed in the spare room to rest up in case of later-night crazies, but I don't want him to get used to me going to sleep that early.


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#5 of 18 Old 10-27-2011, 10:02 AM
 
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sounds like it's going well so far! I have a baby the exact same age so it is very interesting for me to read your updates. Please keep letting us know how it goes :)

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#6 of 18 Old 10-28-2011, 09:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Info, NursingNatural!

 

Ok; Night Three: 

 

He falls asleep at about 8:45 pm very fast this time; maybe 10 minutes or so. Like I planned, I left the room after he was out.

 

Up at 10:45, 1, 3 and then 5 (at which point I nurse) - 7 am wakeup. For each of these wakings, he's fussing less and less, mostly just sits up for a few minutes, I pop the binky back in his mouth and he flops over and goes back to sleep!

 

So technically he's still got 4 wakings (which is not ideal) but the disruption of the waking is SO much less than before. (Which was like nursing for 10 min, rocking/holding in my lap for another 5 min, then another few minutes of back rubbing - which may or may not work.)

 

I'm getting a little more confident about it - not sure how to get him to drop at least that 10/11 pm waking - but hoping that will come with time. I try to remember that it took us 16 months to get here, it will take a little time to get into a new routine.

 

I do notice that he's a little more tired/fussy during the day - which doesn't make as much sense since he actually seems to be getting more night-time sleep. But it could be that "sleep begets sleep" thing. Also - he wants to nurse more during the day, which is fine by me and I'm enjoying all that cuddly nursing.

 

Soo ..... we'll see how it goes!


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#7 of 18 Old 10-29-2011, 01:56 PM
 
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I'm getting ready for this too. Maybe this month, maybe next. Thanks for sharing your experience so far! My lactation consultant told me recently to expect around 2 weeks for the change to really take hold once we start.

sent from my phone using tapatalk, please excuse typos.

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (14).

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#8 of 18 Old 10-29-2011, 02:27 PM
 
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Sounds like it's going well. Does Dr. Jay Gordon have a book or is it just a website?

 

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#9 of 18 Old 11-01-2011, 10:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nights 4, 5, 6, etc.

 

So I kind of stopped keeping track - mostly because the wakings are less disruptive and I don't wake up enough to roll over and write them down, (which is a good thing!)

 

Pretty much the same waking - somewhere around 11, 2, 5 (or 12, 3 and 5) or something like that. He has had 3 hour stretches which is new! Yay! And a few times it's been harder to get him through a 4 am wake without a nurse, but mostly just fussing. Or sometimes that 5 am nursing doesn't work as well keeping him out until his 7 am wake.

 

So I think I'm kind of in a holding pattern now - I'd really like to drop the 10 pm/11 pm/12 am wake completely so that I can, say, nurse him down and then go out. I also might send DH in to do the settle down at that wake too. I'm also contemplating getting DH to do the whole night routine (I'd come in to nurse) which would open up the possibilities of night time freedom. 

 

A funny aside - today - one week after starting this - I'm spotting, so the nightweaning is bringing back my period. Funny! Well, it was a nice 2 years being period-free!

 

I don't know about Dr. Gordon having a book - but I really like his website.

 

Good luck to whoever gives it a shot!


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#10 of 18 Old 11-01-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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FYI, this is Jay Gordon's book
http://www.amazon.com/Good-Nights-Parents-Family-Peaceful/dp/0312275188/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320180780&sr=8-1

 

It's a good one, I've read it! :)

 

Thanks for updating, I've been contemplating doing at least a partial nightweaning with my LO, he's 16 months and nights have been making me a little crazy. Nursing every 2 hours, etc... 

 

 

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#11 of 18 Old 11-01-2011, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Go for it! I found it very overwhelming to contemplate change - but once I started, it's almost exciting to see how it goes every night. The final straw for me was the "I have to hold him in my lap sitting up all night," thing - it was like a junkie hitting bottom. There was no way I could go on.

 

Of course, now DS has a little sniffle so I'm expecting that we could have issues back and forth if/when he gets sick, cuts new teeth, etc. But I don't think we'll go back to nursing; maybe just the holding and rocking.

 

One thing I'll say is that I was sharing my nightweaning story with a friend and she told me how her LO decided to wean completely at that point -kind of needed it to be all or nothing. I don't think my DS is headed that way but she advised to be prepared for it. She said she wasn't expecting it and was kind of sad when her LO needed it to be all or nothing.

 

Anyhoo ... I feel soooo much better now. (Of course, we still have sleep issues with our 8 year old .. but that's another thread ... eyesroll.gif )


Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#12 of 18 Old 11-06-2011, 09:30 PM
 
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So glad to read your success! We have been going back and forth about night weaning our 17 month old daughter, who still wakes up every 2 hours. It's killing me!! We are all overtired and grouchy. I think I have been reluctant to start any process because I know I will have a hard time following through. I do have my husband to help, so I guess it's time. Does he still sleep with you, or did you transfer him to his own bed in your room?

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#13 of 18 Old 11-07-2011, 10:26 AM
 
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My son is almost 9 months. From what I read on these forums, that was too young for night weaning. I don't want to night wean completely but maybe get to the point where we can get a 6 hour stretch of sleep. I'll be going back to work soon and will need to have some energy. We started on Friday night to help encourage this process. I fed him right before going to bed and the goal was to encourage him to go back to sleep without feeding for the following 6 hours. My husband went to see him and tried rocking him or giving him water or his paci. The first night he had to go back 3 times and he kept waking up so finally I gave in and fed him. But we figured at least we got him to go an extra 90 minutes without eating. Last night, I fed him at 10:30 pm, he woke at 1:30 briefly and my husband got him to go back to sleep in 5 min. Then he didn't wake up until 4!!!!! Wondering if like whozeyermamma this will be easier and not so terrible as we've been dreading!

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#14 of 18 Old 11-08-2011, 06:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@leapea: DS and I bed share - DH sleeps either on the couch or with older DD for part of the night. Eventually we'll get back to DH and I in a bed in the spare room for the first part of the night and me and the kids in the big bed later - or something like that.

 

You're right: following through is really important - and I think it helps if you're at the end of your rope. I can tell you, that once you start it's pretty motivating to keep going! Go for it! Let us know how it goes! It did really help me to know that I was not leaving him all alone - that I was there for him with love and cuddles and sweet words and everything else, it's just the boob he can't have. And honestly, he's not pawing at me for it, I think he was ready too.

 

@remymom: It depends on your kid - some babes might be ready at 9 mo - mine certainly were not. My DD night weaned at 12 mo on her own. DS needed a push. It sounds like what you are doing is awesome and totally working! Nice!

 

So next update. I was wondering what would happen if/when DS got sick, started cutting new teeth, etc. So I'm pretty sure he's teething something fierce as of the past few days. He's been up for like 2 - 3 hrs a night. The only solace is the fact that when he cut his other teeth, the nursing didn't really help him to sleep any more than the rocking/holding/binky so I've been holding fast and not nursing him from 8:30 to about 5. But I have been holding him more when he can't settle down (unlike in the pre-teething night-weaning stage when I'd just rub his back.) I don't want him to get back into the habit of me holding him to sleep - so I've also been holding him in a non-nursing position (kind of sitting up, not cradled.)

 

So, the last few days have not been great - but I don't think it has to do with the night wean. ON the plus side, even on a bad teething night he did a 4-hour stretch at one point, which he was NOT doing before soo. .... trying to focus on the bright side.

 

 


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#15 of 18 Old 11-09-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Good for you for sticking it out! We did a trial with our daughter to see if she would fall back asleep without us going in and she did! It only took maybe 10 min. the first night and then she pretty much stopped all together. We get almost a 12 hour stretch at night. She is such a happier girl and we are also sooo happy and have energy when 7pm arrives. Good luck and hope it continues to go well for you!

I have found that through sickness and teething it is a bit harder but keeping the routine is crucial.

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#16 of 18 Old 11-10-2011, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh. So last night he was *inconsolable.* Whining and crying, coughing like he had consumption for 4 hours straight - the only way he'd sleep (and fitfully at that) was with me holding him. And then he spiked a 104 fever. So, needless to say, we threw it all out the window last night and I nursed/held him however he wanted so he could get some rest. 

 

Hopefully it's a short-lived flu/cold and we'll be back on track soon. Bleh.

 

That's awesome Brighetta! 12 hour stretch is amazing!!!!

 

*fingers crossed* praying.gif


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#17 of 18 Old 07-06-2013, 10:45 AM
 
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This is helpful for me to read. 17 month old daughter was night weaned at about 13 months rather uneventfully, then a wicked stomach bug and a move threw that out the window. I recently re night weaned a la Dr Gordon and she definitely did not take to it as well this time. She wakes up screaming at about 2 am and is a real challenge to get back to sleep. Last night she was up screaming and fighting sleep for two hours. I'm afraid she may have been actually hungry which breaks my heart. So I am going to have to make sure she eats before bed. In our previous incarnation of being night weaned, she would sleep straight from 10-2, stir a but but was relatively easy to re settle and would sleep until nursing again at 5. Now she is waking at least four times before it's time to nurse again, and it's almost impossible to keep her in bed for even 8 hours. My instinct is that I also need to teach her to fall asleep without nursing all the way down like with the no cry sleep solution. So first we work on making sure shes not actually hungry, then we would on the nursing to sleep. I'm so exhausted already....

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#18 of 18 Old 07-09-2013, 04:53 AM
 
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Hi mamas, it's really helpful to hear your experiences.

Thank you whozeyermomma for posting your progress. I hope your LO is feeling better?

Fingers crossed for you all!
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