Just need some sympathy and a hug - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 12-07-2011, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
Redmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Hi Momma

 

I have a one year old who has generally woken about 6-7 times a night (or every 1-2 hours) since he was about 4 months old.

 

It did get a little better in the last couple of months - ie he would sleep a stretch of 4 or 5 hours but has recently regressed.

 

I thought I'd come to terms with it, but lately it has been getting me down - I guess it's that he recently turned one and is still waking many times a night.....it depresses me that our life is like this and we've been sleep deprived for nearly a whole year.  When he wake at 3 am and I feed him, it feels so incredibly lonely for me.  My husband and I end up sleeping separately , and take turns sleeping with the baby, so at least each of us can get some uninterrupted sleep.  But I miss sleeping with my husband.

 

I belong to a local Mom's group, most of whom claim their babes sleep well (like 8 hours straight or 12 hours straight), and whenever I raise my feelings about our sleep situation, they just give me advice (why don't you try CIO, why don't you give him a bottle) when to be honest all I'm looking for is a bit of sympathy and for someone to say "you are doing it tough".

 

I really just need some words of encouragement.  I know there are plenty of Mommas on this website with challenging sleep situations.

 

Thanks

:)


40 y/o married Mama, 3 y/o DS, Angel Baby lost in Sep 2013, Angel Baby lost March 2014.
Redmom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 6 Old 12-07-2011, 04:17 PM
 
Mama2ChicknLil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 426
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oy my babe is on the same schedule, only he's 3 months tomorrow :/

You are doing a great job momma.

 Just wondering why you and dh dont sleep together? Is the baby in another room? I know bedsharing has taken some getting used to in our house, but dh and I hold hands over the baby most of the night, or spoon is baby is nursing on the other side of me...is side lying a possible position for you?

 

I know how hard it is, I take it all one day at a time. I dont know how night weaning works as I havent had to yet, but your LO is probably old enough to cut out some feed at night if possible?

 

 

good luck getting some rest


Lactivist-athiest-feminist wife to DH hola.gif , mommy-in-training to beautiful DS Kai, 9/2011 joy.gif

namaste.gif,intactivist.gif,familybed1.gif, saynovax.gif

Mama2ChicknLil is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 12-07-2011, 05:51 PM
 
Blanca78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The eastern edge of the Middle West
Posts: 2,078
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What you said about feeling lonely really struck me. I have definitely felt that way sometimes during late night feedings, or when I am trying to get her to sleep and DH is lying on the couch in the other room getting to read or whatever...it is so hard when I feel myself starting to resent the ones I love. I'm sorry you are having a tough time. Someone on this board once told me that all children eventually become good sleepers, or at least stop needing their parents quite so much at night--you will get there, I'm sure. FWIW, DH and I also sleep separately about 3/4 of the time. We just went through a spate where DD was sleeping well and I found that I wanted to be back in the room again with the two of them (she's in a crib in our room). But then when she's been tougher the last few nights I find that I need my space more.

 

Do you feel like you are getting the support you need from DH? Is there something you could do to treat yourself--a massage or something?


Fiction writer by training, writer/editor of anything anyone will hire me for by trade. Me + D=my girls E (4/2011) and little N, 1/2014.

Blanca78 is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 12-07-2011, 06:47 PM
 
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,757
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hugs, hugs, hugs.

When DD was that age she woke to feed every 2-3 hours and I thought I was going crazy with no sleep. I cant imagine how hard this is for you.

With this babe, I plan to nightwean around 8 months. I need my sleep in order to be a good mommy in other ways. I've heard that Jay Gordon's nightweaning system works great, but I cant attest to it myself. I'm sorry that the other moms from your playgroup arent being supportive.

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 12-08-2011, 03:46 PM
 
sacredpresence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 25
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

You are definitely not alone.  From one mom of a difficult sleeper to another - hugs.  It does get better.  And then it gets worse again, and then better again.  My dd is 19 months and we were finally in a good place sleepwise, but now we are in another regression/teething episode.  It sucks sooooo much.  This is the absolute worse part of parenting for me.

sacredpresence is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 12-08-2011, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Redmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Awwww thanks Mommas for your kind and supportive words - just what I needed.

 

Mama2ChicknLil

We sleep in separate beds so that each of DH and I get some uninterrupted sleep.  To be honest I look forward to getting a few hours to sleep on my own and the mental rest from parenting.

 

DS is semi night weaned as DH rocks him back to sleep for most of the night, except a couple of times when I b/f him back to sleep.

 

Blanca78

DH is fantastic and really does share the night time parenting.  A massage is a great idea - how about we all go and get one!

 

sacredpresence

Thanks for that feedback.  A few other friends have said sleep got better around 18 months.  I rememer when DS was 7 or so months, the thought of another year of this seemed so incredibly depressing.  Now 18 months does not seem so far away. 


40 y/o married Mama, 3 y/o DS, Angel Baby lost in Sep 2013, Angel Baby lost March 2014.
Redmom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off