I just need to know you are out there.
Ds2 has turned into an awful sleeper the past 6 months (he's 11 months). We cosleep and nurse to sleep. I worry I've ruined him! Most of the 'good sleepers' I hear about either don't cosleep or don't nurse to sleep. Ds1 was a good sleeper but he slept in a sidecar and didn't nurse to sleep. Aaarrrgh.
Please reassure me! :)
No advice here, but we are in the same boat at 20 months. My son (DS2) nurses to sleep and always has, unless it's when he's fallen asleep in the car and I carefully carry him in the house.
It does get frustrating at times, especially being the only one who can get him to sleep. Fortunately, I am pretty much a homebody, so not being able to go out at night or something isn't a big deal for me.
Our child still wakes up from maybe 4-10 time a night and the only way I can almost ever get him back to sleep is by nursing. He used to stay awake for a long time when he woke, though, and that was terrible. I try to remember that at least things are better now.
FWIW, my first child was weaned at 5 months and my ex-H was NOT into co-sleeping. That child slept worse than this one!
As far as nursing to sleep, I also try to remember that there are moms who, for whatever reason, could not nurse. I think about what they'd be willing to trade to be able to do what I can. It helps sometimes, but make no mistake--I get frustrated and negative about it, too.
I sometimes wonder if things would be better if DS2 took a pacifier. We tried all different kinds to no avail. DS1 did use a pacifier, but when it fell out at night, he'd wake and scream and be inconsolable for a long time. It was definitely worse than what I'm doing now.
I will be interested to see what other moms write!
I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brother.
LOL it's not looking good that the only person who has responded *doesn't* have a good sleeper!
Caedenmomma I am sorry you are going through this as well! :(
Last night ds2 slept for six hours straight!!! I have no idea why and no idea how to replicate it though. Possibly there was a longer stretch of time between waking up from his last nap and going to bed?? Maybe. Will try it today. Oh but I can dream, right?? What's amazing though is that I went to bed same time as ds2 and didn't wake up until he did so I also got six hours uninterrupted sleep!! I cannot remember the last time that happened - maybe during early pregnancy?? Woo hoo!! :)
OK, DD is 2.5 now, so I'm looking back. We nursed until she was barely shy of 2 but she still co-sleeps. There were definite rough patches in there with frequent night wakings. Now I'm amazed how soundly she sleeps. She occasionally (rarely) wakes up crying (teething?nightmare??) but otherwise is a great sleeper. I think most of our waking times in the past dealt with teething, growth spurts, etc. I love waking up at night now (which is quite often for me currently as I'm pg) and watching her sleep next to me. It is precious time indeed and she often rolls over in her sleep to make sure she can reach both mama and dada. So sweet. So hang in there, its not nursing and co-sleeping that is causing your issues, we all wake up at night at different times in our life for different reasons.
Oh, and our worst was at about 19mos when she was cutting molars--she would wake up SCREAMING and I was soo thankful I had nursing to get her back to sleep. Since we are no longer nursing I do miss that on those rare nights when she does wake up. (and in general--we had such a blessed nursing relationship)
Me and DH, parents to:
DD1 (06/09), Twin DD2 and DS1 (born 3/12- 6 weeks early due to IUGR)
My daughter is almost 29 months. We co-sleep.* She sleeps great. She still nurses to sleep if I am home, but she will go to sleep for my husband without difficulty. He lies with her till she falls asleep. She still takes a 1-2 hour nap.
* People mean slightly different things by this I've found, so: we have a small mattress placed right beside our queen size mattress. She sleeps there from 9-6, at 6 she comes onto the queen so she can have her morning nurse, and sometimes falls asleep again curled up beside me.
First, read this: http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/
I've coslept (in the same bed) while nursing two boys, 23 months apart. My first woke every 1-2 hours for the first YEAR to nurse until I weaned him at 13 months when he almost immediately began sleeping 8 hour stretches. My second has only nursed 2-3 times a night since birth, except for sick times or teething moments. He's 8 months now and still such as easy sleeper. We didn't do a thing differently.
You're probably not getting a lot of responses here b/c people mostly come here looking for solutions to problems. So the ones with the easy cosleeping, breastfeeding babies aren't here to comment. :)
Three babies, all coslept and nursed to sleep.
#1 Was a terrible sleeper, hard to get down, wouldn't stay asleep
#2 Slept through the night (well, with some sleep-feeding going on: you know, baby squirmed but didn't wake up, I popped in a nipple, I went back to sleep) since birth. 10+ hours. For real.
#3 6 months old now, and has been the same as #2 so far.
Just want to say that I believe the child's personality/temperament is something that you can't ruin/inlfuence. They sleep the way they sleep.
Also, it is common for them to have a sleep regression at the 4/5 month mark, so sounds like this is what happened to your little one.
We co-sleep, do not nurse to sleep, and when he wakes (about 6 times a night) we do a combo of either nurse of rock him. Anyway my point is, we don't nurse to sleep but he is still a lousy sleeper.
Like the other poster said, the folks who have great sleepers probably aren't reading this message board....too busy out there having a life I suppose :)
41 y/o married Mama, 4 y/o DS1, Angel Baby lost in Sep 2013, Angel Baby lost March 2014, 3 months old DS2.
My babe only wakes up a couple of times and quickly nurses back to sleep. I am not sleep-deprived. So I consider him a good sleeper even though he doesn't sleep straight through the night. I can't complain.
We did have a sucky sleep regression at 4 months.
4 years and 5 IVF cycles in the making, Elliott was born at home in water on 2/2/11.
DS is 6 months and we cosleep/nurse- he's a great sleeper. He sleeps lightly during the first part of the night, so if I don't lay down with him and turn off all the lights the first time he falls asleep (around 9 usually) he will be up again and not go back to sleep till between midnight and 2. This isn't awful for me because I work part time and never have to be in before 11, and SO works nights- so we're kinda screwy with bedtimes anyway. After DS is down for the night, he sleeps soundly until we wake him up the next day, usually around 10am. He stirs and wants to sleep nurse a few times a night, but he doesn't wake up.
It seems like a million years ago, but DD1 (15) and DD2 (13) both coslept/nursed and were very similar to DS, except that DD2 needed less sleep so she was always up by 8 or 9 am.
I really can't complain, but I would like to find a way to get him to sleep and stay sleeping a little earlier. Like I said, it's not a problem right now, but I would love to start encouraging a more consistent bedtime so that I can have some productive time to myself in the evening...
So hang in there. Things will get better with time.
Our ds woke up every 1-2 hours to nurse until we weaned at 20 months. After that he immediately started sleeping through the night. We still cosleep most nights.
I'm almost afraid to jinx myself by replying, but here goes...
I have coslept with all three of mine, who are now 6 yrs, almost 4 yrs and 3 mos. The first slept HORRIBLY (like, up 10-12 times a night) in his crib from 3 mos to ~6 mos, which is why I originally tried cosleeping, and it saved my sanity. Just being able to nurse side lying and snooze through it made such a huge difference, and he started waking far less. I could tell he just needed me to be there by him as he'd reach out and touch me and go back to sleep. Even though he still woke a few times a night until I night weaned him at 18 mos, I felt extremely functional and always appreciated having him close to me after the horrible crib months. Most of those nights were spent in the rocking chair next to the crib, not in my warm bed! Since nightweaning my son has slept through the night and sleeps like a rock to boot. Now the issue is getting him up to go potty! He has slept in his own room/bed since age 2.
My daughter and I coslept from day one until about age 3.5 when she had transitioned to her own bed (in our room) and was ready to move to her own room. She was always a better sleeper than my first and only woke a couple of times a night to briefly nurse. I night weaned her at age 2.5 when I was pregnant and she has been sleeping like a rock through the night as well.
My current baby is not one of those sleep anywhere easy babies or anything but he does well at night except for having trouble getting to sleep initially (he doesn't fall out for the night til ~11pm). But then we get a good uninterrupted chunk of 3-6 hours. We will see what the future holds as he is 3 mos and I have heard so much about the 4 month regression.....
I think for me a lot of it had to do with ditching my expectations (my first blew those totally to shreds), avoiding people who sleep train (seriously, the only parents group I have ever been a part of was an AP group) and being grateful for all the small things - the night cuddles, the sweetness of nursing, being the first thing baby sees in the morning, etc etc.
You are at a difficult age. My DD woke up from 4-11 months every 1-2 hours and then still alot until she was about 16 months old. Then she began sleeping 5-7 hour stretches. Somewhere around 19 months she started laying down to sleep with me after nursing, and going to bed with my DH. Now she is cutting molars and is waking more often, but still, I think that 4-11 month stretch was bad because of some serious teething/developmental stuff (and some food stuff for us). she walked for instance at 10 months and would often wake and stand up in the bed and then be mad that she was standing.
You ca help them where they are at, and I did so some limited night weaning when she was 14 months old (no nursing from 11-4) but otherwise, change really happened on its own.
I guess it depends on ones definition of sleeping well but I am pretty happy with the way my LO sleeps. She is 19 months old. We have co-slept from birth and I feed her to sleep 99% of the time. She has one daytime sleep 1-2 hours long. I feed her to sleep then get up and she sleeps by herself.
At night DH and I both lie down with her and I feed her to sleep, then we both get up for a few hours. Usually she doesn't feed again until I come to bed. Sometimes after that feed she will then sleep through til 4am-ish. Other times she will have a feed in the middle of the night. I often have to feed her fairly intensively for the last hour or so so she doesn't wake up too early.
I am not as well slept as I was pre-chldren but I'm functional and don't feel exhausted most of the time. I feel like I'm doing pretty well for a co-sleeping, BFing toddler mother.
There have been periods where she has not slept as well as now of course but, overall, I feel like I have been fortunate.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
Mine did but only once we figured out their food issues. DS was 19 months when we found out he should be eating gluten or dairy. DD was 15 months when we found out she is celiac. Within days of correcting each situation, they went from waking up every 30-120 minutes to sleeping through the night.
Mama to DS (6/07) , DD (6/09) , and DD (07/12) ..
My son actually slept pretty well with us until 20 months or so, even though we were only in a full-size bed. We weaned just before his 2nd birthday after he started showing some negative signs that it was really time to do so--look at my threads for a little more information. Since then we're having some interesting times convincing him to sleep in his own bed, but we're making progress, and most mornings now (at 27 months) he doesn't come bug us until 5:30 or 6 am.