Our sleep setup is getting old quick and I am thinking something has to change. Apologies in advance for the length here.
DS is 9 months old. We bedshare, and have from day one. DH works a crazy shift- from about 2am to noon. So, at 7 pm or so, we all pile into the family bed together. DH goes to sleep and I nurse DS to sleep. DS has slept through the night (sort of) from fairly early on. I mean, he stirs and kicks and stuff, but generally putting a boob or paci in his mouth settles him again.
Because of DH's sleep schedule and sleep needs, I take on all the nighttime parenting. This hasn't been a problem until now.
Lately, DS is trying to crawl in his sleep. He will just start to nod off while nursing to sleep when suddenly he will be wide awake again trying to crawl around the bed while fussing because he is stone tired. Our nighttime routine has gone from 15-20 min to now nearly 2 hours of him fussing and almost falling asleep until he finally conks out. DH isn't sleeping enough because of this and it's taking a toll on him. (He picks our son up from daycare at noon and is with him until 5 when I get home, so trust me, he's pulling his weight in other ways even if it's not at night.)
DS seems like he is mobile nearly all night long. He kicks me constantly, or will start trying to roll onto his stomach with my breast in his mouth (OUCH!!). He often wakes up fussing and trying to crawl and I can't figure out what to do to calm him down. I'm not sleeping and I'm laying awake at night with him squirming and kicking while I cry.
We have a cosleeper we have never used. I tried putting him in it last night, but he promptly grabbed the side of it and stood up. *sigh. So that's no longer going to be useful.
We live in a one-bedroom apartment and so there's not even a separate room I can try putting him in. So I honestly don't know what to do. But I do know that my family is not sleeping well and something has to give.
He sleeps in a pack and play at daycare. They tell me they put him in it when he's tired but awake, give him a paci, put on music, and he conks out. No crying. And he'll sleep for like 3 hours. Unreal. At home, he will only nap if one of us wears him in an Ergo.
Can anyone help me figure out what I might try? Should I sidecar a crib? Should I get a crib and put it across the room from our bed? Should I get a pack and play and put him in that?
I wish we had room to put our bed on the floor and put a small mattress adjacent, but we just don't, so that solution's out.
I know that 9 months seems early to try to stop cosleeping but seriously, I am at my wit's end. I struggled through awful ppd after he was born, and I feel myself sliding back there with all these sleep disturbances. I cannot go down that road again, and I need to make a change to keep my family happy and sane.
My first thought is that he might be just about ready to hit another developmental milestone. Also, could he be teething (which might make it hard for him to settle, even if he's not in great pain)? Can your DH sleep on the couch while you get the baby to bed? Can you try putting him to bed a half hour earlier or later to see if it helps?
I definitely feel your pain, my ds didn't sleep well until he was almost 2yo and it was torture. Bedtimes were the absolute worst in my house until then. I'm sorry I don't have better advice.
My little guy has always been a "poor" sleeper, but he did this for a while around the same age and it was the worst! I woke up many mornings feeling more tired than I went to bed! No advice but just reassurance that it will pass... mostly! My DS (13 mo) occasionally has a recurrence of this for part of the night now usually coinciding with teething. But it is never as bad as it was around 9 mo. Good luck!
I just logged on seeking similar advice. My 9 mo ds bed shares with me. He is up 1-3 times each night in this wild arm flinging screaming tantrum. I can't figure out the issue & it's been going on for months. Teething causes these tantrums 4-6 times nightly until teeth are cut. He has full access to my boob and uses it to go to sleep. He will even have fits as I hear him gulping milk. I've tried different sleeping positions and even transfer him to the pack n play next to our bed. Sometimes, I'll put him to the side, he'll then scream his "I want mommy" scream. When I pull him back, he's often calmer. I only do this when I've lost my patience. During the day, he doesn't have tantrums. It's only a night thing. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Well, we're in the same boat then. I will say that last night was better. I think the reason was that his first tooth is almost ALMOST through the gumline.
A few other things I tried last night that I think maybe (maybe?) made a difference. I'm of the mind that what works for one kid's sleep is unique to them and may or may not work for another. So totally not saying this is silver-bullet stuff, but it helped us out for last night at least...
1. I took a bath with him in warm water and olive oil. My son has terrible hives/exzema right now so we're battling that too. I also threw in a few chamomile teabags in the water. He got very giggly and happy in the bath- happier than he's been in a while.
2. I took him out, massaged him with Burt's Bees baby oil. He really seemed to like this.
3. He no longer nurses to sleep, and it feels like he can't stop himself from trying to crawl. He seems tired, but like he cannot turn himself off, so to speak. So last night, I laid him on his tummy in our bed, held his hands so he couldn't push up and try to crawl, and sang him to sleep. When he would get restless and try to crawl, I would gently pull his arms forward, helping him lay down again, and keep singing in his ear while I rubbed his back. He slept for a full 3 hours without moving once after this. Amazing.
Good luck to you, mama. Let's keep talking- let us know how you get on!
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