4yo wants me to be facing him in bed - always - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-30-2012, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi there, this is my first post in this forum because we have, fortunately, always had a great time with cosleeping. And we still are, this is more of a minor point that I am having a bit of trouble with. Right now, my DS starts the night in his own bed and usually joins us in the big bed sometime in the night, often when we are asleep but sometimes as we are reading in bed. When he goes to sleep in his bed, I lie down with him and he likes to lie in the same position we would use when we were breastfeeding (we weaned when he was 3). He usually falls asleep quickly and easily.


The only problem is, he wants me to ALWAYS be in this position - facing him and preferably snuggling him, so on my side with my arm under his neck. When he joins us in the middle of the night, I don't wake up most times but I do find myself most mornings (though not all) snuggled up with him just the way he likes, so I must turn that way during the night! And I love waking up that way. But the thing is, by the time I wake up I have been lying in that position for a long time and am achey. When I turn over, he wakes up and demands to be facing me and snuggled. Basically this means that he wakes up whenever I first stir. He is very insistent and sensitive (his temperament) and is not content at all just to be in bed with us and snuggled near us. This has meant a lot of very early mornings for us lately, which leave us both exhausted and cranky. It also means that I can never get up earlier than him. That is hard for me sometimes, when I'd like to have a quiet 15 minutes in the morning. 


This isn't a new problem, really, it's just that he's at an age when I don't think it's a reasonable request anymore. Maybe it never was, but he was/is a very difficult sleeper and high-needs baby and I preferred being uncomfortable to not sleeping. When he was a baby and younger toddler, I would often just take him with me when I turned over. I was often uncomfortable but I accepted it as his need as such a little guy. Now however - it is not so easy to rearrange everything so that he is facing me, has his pillow that he likes, etc. Plus I feel that if we are going to continue cosleeping we need to all be comfortable. I myself was raised this way and I do remember I liked having my mom facing me, too, so I understand. I have talked to him about how each person is responsible for taking good care of their body and making sure it is feeling good, and that others need to respect that.


The truth is, whether I want to or not, I am not going to be able to carry out his wishes much longer, since I am pregnant...with twins. Any ideas? Have any of you experienced this with your LOs? Thanks in advance!

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Me + DH + DS ('07) + after a long and bumpy road, thrilled that our twin boys are finally here (DS2 & DS3, '12)

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#2 of 2 Old 04-30-2012, 06:30 PM
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I've had one of each. My oldest still likes me facing her. My baby can't sleep unless I'm facing away.

I think the best thing is to start moving ds to sleeping your dh. Maybe reading to sleep or a side cuddle.

Best of luck. Sometimes I would switch to the foot of the bed to flip my body over. But eventually my kids sleep longer than I do. We all go to bed at the same time

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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Co Sleeping With Older Kids , Family Bed

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