The Great Paradigm Shift...... or...... maybe not. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-13-2012, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
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My 5 and 7yo girls still sleep happily in bed with me, dh is in the futon crammed alongside ours making one huge bed (we have one huge bedroom!)


So, today our girls decided to divide all the clothes and make their own bedrooms and mommy was to sleep with daddy on his side again.  They were so excited.  My 7yo was going to have a room all her own and sleep there (this from a girl who doesn't even like to play in that room--she likes company somewhat nearby.  I am privately skeptical.)


Evening came.


DD1 came to me, shuffling a bit and grumbling and mumbling something about a furnace.  It was nearing bedtime, so I kind of guessed what this was about.  I asked her if she had changed her mind about the bed.  She nodded.  I told her that was OK, she could sleep wherever she wanted.  No one was kicking her out of bed, and no one was making her stay.


She lit up and said "I think I just need to grow my own furnace!  I like sleeping next to you, mama, because you're warm!"  She hopped out and rejoined storytime.


5yo dd2 was a bit disappointed that her sister was rejoining her.  But then she thought she would sleep in the little bedroom.  We transferred all her important items to the bedroom.  She snuggled under the covers as I tucked her in and said "Nighty-night!  Sleep tight!  Sweet dreams...."  Then a kiss.  


As I walked out of the bedroom to get ready for bed myself, she popped up and said "That was all I wanted to do" and came crawling back into the Big Bed.


Part of me was glad.  I had slept with these girls since they were babies, and as ready as they had seemed, I really enjoyed snuggling with them.  But I guess that's the roll of a mother, isn't it?  Letting go when the time comes?


I lay there in bed with them, dd1 with her warm legs propped on mine, dd2 holding my hand.  It was still light out though it was 9:00.  We looked out the window at the tree, the birds coming and going.  I was ready for the girls to go, but I'm glad to be snuggling now.  We all drift off....


Round about 1:00 am, dd1 kicks me and grinds her knees into my back.  I push and shove her into friendlier sleeping position.  I accidentally squash dd2's long hair and she wakes briefly with an loud "OW!"  We get back to sleep, but this time without all the dreamy illusions of perfection.


Reality strikes.  Paradigm shift has been averted.

"She is a mermaid, but approach her with caution. Her mind swims at a depth most would drown in."
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#2 of 5 Old 06-13-2012, 08:50 AM
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#3 of 5 Old 06-13-2012, 08:52 AM
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How sweet of them.  And funny.  lol.gif




We've had dd1 (5 1/2) on a floor bed in our room again, for the past few weeks.  


I think she actually does like her own room more, sometimes, because she can stay up late and I don't bug her about it - "be quiet, you're kicking me & your sis, she'll wake up" "dad needs to get sleep, stop talking so loud" (she loves to stay up as much as possible, and dd2 doesn't do well with that at all). 


BUT pretty soon dh goes on a working nights schedule, and we'll have both girls & I in our bedroom more often then (partly cause it's easier for bedtime, and partly cause its the only room in the house with A/C in the summertime.  It's kinda nice cause I know we'll end up with more time to read stories to each other.




For awhile (2-3 years ago, last time dh was working nights regularly) dd1 started mimicking my evening habits of list-writing and doing sudoku puzzles.  She'd write out grocery lists, and make up answers to her own printed out puzzles (she was, like 3, so - not really doing the puzzle & all).  It was great.  orngbiggrin.gif

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#4 of 5 Old 06-13-2012, 10:49 AM
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That's sweet. :)  My DD is 6 and still sleeping with us. We have a twin pushed up against our king for her, and she stays in it most of the time.  We found that after she stopped nursing that she was all over me at night, but that if she slept next to her dad, she didn't crawl all over him in the night, and also he didn't wake up if she did. lol.gif  So, he sleeps on her side now.  Which is good as we have a new one coming in August, and I will have primary night duty and need the room.


DD usually will crawl into daddy's warm spot when he gets up in the morning, it is super cute.  I love having her there.  I will be slightly sad when she decides to move out.  I think that will come with the new baby and getting up in the night and all.  She will likely decide she doesn't wish her sleep to be interrupted 80 times a night. LOL

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#5 of 5 Old 06-14-2012, 04:52 PM
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i have an almost 10 year old in bed with me.


its just the two of us - i share her with her father.


she is afraid of the dark. and i really think she is the kind of person who sleeps better when she has company.


she has tried to leave the bed many times, but always returns. 


i love snuggling with her and our cat at our feet or head. 


dd is a v. sound sleeper so she can sleep through lights and music and anything. and so can i. so we dont affect each other.


for us i think cosleeping has really HELPED with dd dealing with stress and the challenges of life. physical touch is big for her. 


since i dont have the pressure of another adult in bed, i really enjoy the snuggling at night. most nights i try to go to bed when dd does, because its during those quiet, dark moments dd leads me into her world and tells me the stuff that is actually going on to affect her. during daylight it seems those things are not that important. i find dd 'thinks' more at night rather than during the day. 

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