any stories of child led family bed-weaning? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-04-2012, 02:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Our kids are now 3 1/2 and almost 9 and dh is *ready* to have them in their own room.  If it were up to me alone, I would maybe give them a gentle push toward falling asleep in their own room, but I'm okay with them staying in our bed and I think my little guy is even a bit too young to make any kind of issue out of it.  I really want them to feel welcome and comfortable with us in our bed anytime they need or want to be in there.  But dh doesn't feel that way.  He wants our bed back just for us.  And he's not happy with them just falling asleep in their room and coming in whenever they feel like it after that.  

 

I think it's been around six weeks now that they've fallen asleep in their room every night, but there are some nights that they are in our room by midnight, more typically they come in between 2 and 4 and a handful of times they've come in some time after dawn.  To me, this seems like a sea change for them and I feel no need to push them further and I assume that as they come to terms more with the new arrangement, they'll sleep better in there and last a little longer.  My little guy is still nursing, so that may be a factor, too.  

 

Anyhow, I'm curious about how kids transition on their own or with just small nudges.  I think dh is afraid that they'll just never move into their own room if we don't put our foot down.  And, truthfully, it's hard for me to imagine my older one wanting to sleep in his own room ever.  I still have to lay down with him for him to fall asleep and he fights hard against the idea of falling asleep alone.  (That is actually an issue that I would love to resolve, much more so than where he's sleeping, if anyone has any tips for that.)  So, I was wondering about others' experience with this.  Or if anyone has even lasted long enough to let the kids move into their own rooms on their own initiative.  


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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Old 07-04-2012, 03:47 AM
 
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Hi! smile.gif

 

It can be hard when the doubts sneek in, can`t it? I can`t tell you how many times I have doubted the descision (now that CAN`T be written correctly, can it??) to cosleep. My son is now 11 YO. We cosleept for many, many years. A lot more than my other cosleeping mama-friends did with their children. But now, my sons sleeps in his own bed. Granted, he still sneeks over in my bed in the early mornings, but he goes to sleep by himself, and sleeps in his own bed most of the time. love.gif What helped for him/me/us, was to move. lol.gif  It`s just the two of us, and we have lived in a tiny apartment for 5 years. The one big thing in the apartment, was the bedroom. So, we shared. I had my part of the room, and he had his. But, it was the same room, and it made it so, so much more difficult for him to accept to go to sleep alone. This January we moved to another tiny apartment, but this time the bedroom is tiny. So, the bedroom is his, and I started sleeping in the livingroom. And just like that, from one day to another, he started sleeping "fulltime" in his own bed, and going to sleep by himself.

 

I go with him to his room, sit on the bed and talk with him for a while, then I leave. He wants the door wide open, so in reality he is just 7-8 feet away from me. He can hear me, and I pop in once in a while to see if he is sleeping. And then he just falls asleep, safe and secure. love.gif

 

This "advice" isn`t something you can follow very easily, I know. I just wanted to let you know that it CAN happen on its own. *hug* I hope you will get a lot of replies, from people with more experience!

 

Ooh, and my son has GAD. This is an anxiety-diagnosis, and it`s a huuuge part in why it took him so many years to feel safe enough to sleep alone.
 


*Single, attached Norwegian mama to my LoveBug, 2001*
 
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Old 07-04-2012, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How funny, LoveBugMama, you and I both joined in 8/2003.  

 

Moving can be magical.  lol  We moved when my older was 3 1/2 and he stopped nursing and got out of diapers all at the same time.  But we are stuck in this house until the economy comes around a bit.  He may be 12 by then.  Gah!  But it is good to hear that it can happen and it sounds like it wasn't too hard for your ds.  


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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Old 07-05-2012, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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