How to make family bed safe for newborn and toddler - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 3 Old 07-13-2012, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
1stTimeMama4-4-10's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Our DD, who is presently 27 months old, goes to bed in her own room but joins us in our bed at around 3am every night.  Typically she just slides into bed next to me and goes right to sleep, although sometimes she wants to nurse for a bit before she goes back to sleep.  It's been a lovely system for the last six months because DH and I get some grown up time in our own room and still get to wake up next to a sweet little baby face that says, "Hi mama!!! Hi daddy!"  Makes me feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.  Also, DD is kind enough to get herself out of her room and into our bed without ever crying or making us go get her, so we all get to sleep pretty much through the night. Hooray!


My dilemma is that our second daughter is due on August 20, and we fully intend to cosleep with this baby the same way we did with DD1. But with DD1, the only thing I had to worry about was that her father and I were safe to sleep with her.  I knew from day one that I was totally safe (I would wake in the exact same position that I fell asleep, and I would wake at the slightest sound or movement), but it took a bit longer to know DH was safe.  I don't know that I will ever have that confidence cosleeping with a toddler and a newborn. I don't see how we could keep DD1 from coming to bed with us, and I'm not sure I WANT to do that, but then how do I make sure that the newborn is safe?  


As my due date draws near, I am getting more and more concerned about this. I'm not a nervous nelly by any means, and I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits and inherent safety of cosleeping, but I don't know how to feel totally safe cosleeping with a newborn and a toddler, because the toddler is, well, a toddler!


I'd love to hear from mamas who have BTDT and from those mamas who are tackling this same issue for the same time!

Happy fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed2.giffemalesling.GIF, delayed/selective vaxxing, WOHM to DD1 4/10 diaper.gif, DD2 8/12 babygirl.gif and partner/wife for thirteen years to SAHD DHsuperhero.gif.  

1stTimeMama4-4-10 is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 3 Old 07-17-2012, 06:36 PM
cynthia mosher's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Arabia!
Posts: 38,740
Mentioned: 20 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 112 Post(s)

We got DD1 to sleep on her father's side of the bed rather than between us as she usually did.  We found that helped her get over her new sister coming in to the family bed.  smile.gif

cynthia mosher is online now  
#3 of 3 Old 07-21-2012, 03:47 PM
Honey693's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,086
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher View Post

We got DD1 to sleep on her father's side of the bed rather than between us as she usually did.  We found that helped her get over her new sister coming in to the family bed.  smile.gif

That's what we had to do too.  It took a couple nights of a mad toddler b/c she wanted to sleep next to me, but she eventually got that she could either sleep next to DH or go back to her own room and sleep where she wanted.

obstruct livery vehicles

Honey693 is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off